Perspective 3, Under the Semi 2, Staples

 
Perspective 3



Under the Semi 2



Staples

Just some abstract shots I took today that I really liked, so I'm sharing. :) XO. Had so much fun on my walk today. Hope you're awesome.

Love,
C.A. MacConnell

When I See.

Good morning.

When I see kids looking for adventure and love, it fills my heart, and I think it's amazing and beautiful.

Because that's what I've been doing my whole life.

C.A. MacConnell

P.S. When I wake, I talk to God and sometimes, I share the thoughts. Hope you have a beautiful day. My books are on Amazon. I have four novels waiting for you. :) I created, wrote, edited, and designed them all; I even did the cover art. Entirely a solo effort on a budget of zero, ha. Impressive if you ask me. They are all quite unique, but all of them hold my slick style, as well as a mystery element...and all are intense and fast-paced. The characters are raw and real. Quite different from these nonfiction blog writings, but equally compelling. Touch/click above or any of the book covers on the right side of this page, and it'll send you to purchase info and descriptions. Thanks!

I have two more books that I'm chiseling away at...nonfiction works, and the first draft is done on both. In the editing stages. More soon! <3 I also have a third sucker, fiction, that I've begun. :) I always have something up my sleeve, ha. Just a taste of what's to come.

Hawk, Sunrise.

One of my best. <3 Also my totem animal. Good morning. I hope you have a wonderful day. 

Lately, I've had many lessons in trusting myself. When I get quiet and allow the feelings to settle, I realize I already know what to do. :) Sometimes, I still need a cheerleader, but I lean into those who allow me the freedom to just talk it out and figure it out on my own, which is rad. A few select folks. Key.

Take care of yourself. Be kind to yourself today. Last night, I asked God for an intuitive thought, and I heard this:  "Just know that you are loved."

Hope you know that too. I feel a lot of love in my heart. Outsides might not always show it, for all of us. Things may be confusing, but when I get quiet, deeply, that feeling is always there...and that's one thing in my life that never changes. I hope to share that with you.

Lean in. Wait. Trust.

Love to you,
C.A. MacConnell

George.

 

George was a friend of mine; I named this photo after him, and I'm thinking of him this morning. He was part of the barn crew at the stable where I spent most of my time as a kid...he worked so hard, and I spent many years, hours, minutes with him. His sister worked there as well, and I was close to her too. George was all smiles, all love, and he was like a brother to me growing up. He was one of the wild ones too, and he had the dream spark in his eye, every single day. There is so much more to this story, but I'll share it another way, on another day, but he and his sister were key supporters for me growing up.

I'm still here, and I have a story to tell for all of the people like George. And me.

Good morning. Love to you,
C.A. MacConnell 

P.S. Not to be a mood killer from yesterday, ha. Just a person/story I woke up thinking about. I'm always thinking of stories/patterns in the morning. I'm sure I'll weave it into a book. Have a good day. XO, C.

Self, Just Now.

 

Proof of life, ha. Hey, chk out my books on Amazon now! 

Love to you,
C.A. MacConnell

Desire 2

 

<3 I really love how this turned out. :) I see so much, so clearly in this. Hope you enjoy it as well. Love to you,

C.A. MacConnell

Photos

 

Just two more I took yesterday. First, Little Tree 1. Second, no name yet. :)
Have a great day. Love to you, C.A. MacConnell

Loss, Gain

 

Interesting...absolutely no editing on this one. I took it, glanced at it, smiled, and whispered, "Yes." XO

C.A. MacConnell

Band Photo, Profiles

 

Because every band has to have an obligatory brick wall shot.

<3

C.A. MacConnell

Chamois, Ear.

 

I took a bunch of shots today. This was my favorite. Not sure you'll see the right detail on a phone...these photos and my poems are correctly shown on a desktop, fyi, but I'm sure having fun. Hope you enjoy my art.

Love to you,
C.A. MacConnell

Self.

 

This is me, right now. Hello. I like it. It's imperfect, kinda blurry. It's real.

C.A. MacConnell

Mirrors, Five

The first woman is on stage; her face graces fifteen different magazine covers.
Next to me, in the front row, the second woman growls like a stereotypical Pit,
holding back the blink, pushing and pulling and gnashing her teeth, chewing
on saliva. I introduce myself, and she silently looks away, as if I am invisible.
Only the microphone hears us, and the guitar simply sputters. The third one,

in the back, the grey-haired right hand, blinks repeatedly, checking her phone,
timing the seconds. Moment to moment, she tunes up. The fourth scratches
my shirt, clawing at the skin, searching for fresh meat like a stereotypical Shep,
and I wonder if she’ll swallow my muscle, gnawing on the bone. There are signs.
Later, in my car, editing my face, I walk a wire somewhere between God and dirt,

a curious land that stretches further than anyone’s vision. But in the gas station,
another stranger, woman number five, looks up at me. And it’s the corner
of her eye -- the bloodshot, nervous twitch -- that I remember. As she searches
for snacks, she swiftly jerks sideways. Pretzels in hand, she digs in, licks one,
swallows salt, and reaches out, clutching my arm tight enough to cause a bruise,

suddenly shouting, You are beautiful.

C.A. MacConnell

P.S. I am speaking tonight. I spoke yesterday as well. I enjoy public speaking; I have to admit. But I hope to be helpful when I share my experiences. I have an interesting, unconventional story, for sure. Wish me luck. C.

Photo: Lions.

Film shot. So sweet. <3💓

C.A. MacConnell

Wise, Loving Participant

I heard something last night that struck me. For a long while, I've understood all of these notions, but the way it was said was helpful to me. I am paraphrasing here, but I'll do my best. Here goes...sure, as kids we are all victims of certain circumstances, and there is no fault in that. But if I'm aware of the pattern, that means that if I jump in now, I'm no longer a victim; I'm a volunteer. There are two primary emotions:  fear and love. If it's not love, it's fear. Even if a person is feeling anger, it's driven by fear. And fear is a lie. So, if I'm not feeling love, or if I'm not participating in a loving situation, what is the lie? Not in terms of the other person's actions but rather, regarding my own emotions, engagements, and responses -- what is the fear hidden behind the feelings? What is really pushing me to feel and stay afraid?

It helped me understand fear better. What is the heart of this? What is the untruth lurking beneath all of these feelings? What story was I told growing up that is not true, some falsehood that entered my brain because of others' actions, words, etc. For me, it's this:  why is it that I feel defective? Unlovable? Because I was sent this message repeatedly as a child and now, as an adult, I put myself in situations that recreate it.

But the awareness of it changes things up, making it easier for me to navigate and understand my patterns, which helps with relationships. Not perfect, but it helps me to become more flexible, more understanding, more compassionate, and better with boundaries. Not disappearing, but learning boundaries, and there's a huge difference. I'm learning how to reflect inward, wait, lean in, and become more peaceful.

I don't have to be invisible. I can embrace the new idea of becoming a wise, but loving participant.

Love to you,
C.A. MacConnell

P.S. Ha, in some ways it's easier to run around with no awareness, I know. But God is pushing me to grow, and I've found that there's no going back. Hope you have a beautiful day. XO. Hopefully my ramblings are helpful. Maybe I'll see you out and about.

Graveyard Self.

 

C.A. MacConnell

Hear Me

 

Just messing around with light and such. Hope you like the shots! Have a great evening, whatever you're getting into. Love,

C.A. MacConnell

Real

 

C.A. MacConnell

Here We Are.

 

Good morning. Hope your day is everything you wish it to be.

There's an artist down the street...instead of mowing his lawn, he planted it with tulips; he lets the grass grow wild. He has a studio not too far from me as well. I run into him on my walks every now and then, and he used to visit a coffee shop where I worked. I see the guy all the time, ha, but every time I see him, we simply shout and say, "Hello," although I've never talked to him any more than that. But...I will say that I feel a kinship with the guy every time I see his tulips spring up. It reminds me of this:  stay wild.

Love to you,
C.A. MacConnell💛💙

This.

 

I found the light interesting. :) Kinda a dark vibe. But if you look closer, you can see the beauty/light. That's why I dug it. XO. Life can be complicated. So is this photo. But it all depends on my perspective. 

I have a friend who has helped me see the light over the years, although he may not even realize it. He is awesome and beautiful.

I hope you're having a good day.

Love to you,

C.A. MacConnell

Journey

 

C.A. MacConnell

Fun

Good morning. Love to you.

Fun. What's fun?

Not this:  what I am trained to do.

Not this:  what everyone thinks I should do.

Not this:  what someone else thinks is fun.

Not my labels or past or present or what "seems like it fits" for me.

None of that.

What is really fun to me, right now?

I think I'll see what gives me the spark today.

C.A. MacConnell

Back

I revisited a park I haven't been to in a while...the lake is gone. They're redoing the whole thing I guess, but I was worried about the hawks, herons, enormous turtles, snakes, and fish who lived there...but it was still a beautiful day and so, I took this shot. I admit I wasn't supposed to walk the path, but I sneaked around all of the fences and caution tape like it wasn't even there, ha. I got covered in burrs, but it felt like an adventure. But don't get a burr up your shorts, just sayin. Ha!

I'm feeling adventurous this morning. :) I may find another adventure today.

Love to you,
C.A. MacConnell

Twist Ties, Orange String.

<3
Twist Ties

Orange String

Just some things that caught my eye today. What a beautiful day...I had some time to revisit a past friend/helper, and it was quite interesting. So amazing, the way things fall into place full circle...truly divine...but never on my timetable.

Hope you like these strange shots from my tricky brain. Feeling quite nostalgic and curious at the moment, wondering what's next. Excited and a tad nervous too, but I love the spark.

Love to you,
C.A. MacConnell

 

Girl on the Bus. And Plans...

I took this on my way to a parade. I was riding on a shuttle bus, and I caught this girl's look in the mirror. Pretty cool, I think. Hope you like it too.

Yo, my four novels are on Amazon. Or just click/touch the book covers on the right side of this page; it'll send you there.

Just a note...

Lately, I've been busting out "essays in the moment," as you can see in the post below. Or I guess I could call them intuitive thoughts or musings. Not planned...just what's coming out of me right now, and I'm rolling with it. I don't claim to have answers; I just share from my heart in the moment, and it changes swiftly! I already have a number of essays bundled together, and I plan to publish the book within the next year. The first draft is done, but I'm adding every day; it may end up being two books. Anyway, it's part of my way of working through things, and it's part of my art as well. My photos help me process life shit too, ha. And perhaps, in turn, my art can help someone else along the way. And if so, awesome!

Right now, it's difficult for me to sit in the typing position, but I've been doing PT, and I hope to be able to work on editing and design soon, heading toward publication of this next book. I'm hopeful! It's got light pieces and deep pieces, the whole gamut. It shows many sides of me, which I like. It's not all dark, and it's not all pretty. Just little old me. Aye, we're all complex and unique. But also, there's a lot to love!

Hope you have a good night. <3,
C.A. MacConnell

P.S. If you've read my books, pass it on! And reviews on Amazon are welcome. Thanks to those who have already left reviews!

Dark Horse Shadow.

 

Always the underdog, geezo. Actually, I'm chuckling about it. Makes me work harder. Grateful for all of the work today...a blessing. Have an awesome evening.

C.A. MacConnell

Wolf

 

Photo on Film. Wolf. I took this a long time ago...I love it, because it was originally a mess-up, and it later became one of my favorites. I have several of this kind. Just making coffee, getting ready to do some reading.

I woke up thinking...now why did I post that ridiculousness yesterday? Too tell-y. Well, I've had that thought before too. But then again, it was honest, in the moment, and it was fun to share. My thoughts bounce around...in person, I may look calm, but my mind moves swiftly! I'm grateful for it, as it comes in handy when writing. I have the cool ability to file away numerous people's sayings, comments, and the like, and channel it into dialogue later...I remember people's voices and quirky sayings like no other. Outside people usually have no idea...my face hides it. Sometimes, it's annoying, but I consider it a gift now. Yay, me. Yay, God, thanks for the gift.

My body is bothering me...I have some physical issues, but my heart feels good and strong. I feel quite peaceful. Good thing about losing everything? No more fear, and one learns to have direct contact with a higher power. As far as furniture, I own a bed, a couch, and a conference table. That's it, and I don't give a shit. Because I have large windows of time like this:  awesome, free, powerful, calm, exciting, happy, content. Key.

Love to you,
C.A. MacConnell

Books, Musing, Film.

Hello. I figure, we're all just people running around looking for adventure and love. A bunch of kids with different bodies and faces. Sure, we play unique roles, and we all have various awesome talents and such, but we're all just kids.

Sometimes, I dream that Ron Howard will read and take on my book, Griffin Farm. Once, I sent him a FB message about it, because it's along the lines of one of his films, and I know he loves a great story, especially an epic adventure.

Another time, I sent a message to Jonah Hill about my second novel, The House of Anchor, because he did a film about skaters that I really liked, and I thought he might dig The Anchor, which is chock full of skaters; but it may be better as a Netflix series, with all of the possible side plots. I'd like to see Hill involved...he has a real passion for the 90s stuff, like me. But maybe he would disagree, who knows, ha.

Honestly, I think numerous folks would be interested in Strange Skin and The Hole. They're almost written directly for the screen. I'm extremely visual when I write, and I specialize in dialogue; it'd be an easy switch. In this day and age, directors would love The Hole, because audiences seem to like thrillers. I definitely see that one as a film; it would be fantastic.

If I were a director, which would I choose? Strange Skin. It's the least complicated, and it's a heart warmer, and it would be the least expensive to make. I also miss stories about teenagers, adventures, and relationships...there were a slew of great ones in the 80s and 90s, although Netflix has grabbed onto it with shows like Outer Banks and such. I adore such shows. Strange Skin would fit right in there. Plus, it's family friendly.

As an author, which one do I most want to see come alive through the camera? I want to see three, fantastic, young actors portray Lucas, Joanna, and Zion. If you want to know which book that is, you'll have to read them! Ha.

If you're interested in my novels, here they are.

Just musing and dreaming this afternoon. But as I've gotten older, I'm much more interested in directly connecting with people and staying in the moment. If great success rolled in, I'd be stoked to see the creativity of it all, for sure, and that would be exciting! But I'm not focused on results like I used to be. I'm more interested in creating in the moment, and the process. And I'm more interested in the small details of life, the curious nature of patterns, and the mystery of it all.

What would be my biggest dream? To rock on a porch swing and hold hands with someone who I truly cherish. To talk and laugh and share a life. To enjoy and celebrate another human being and not give two shits about exteriors but rather, love fully and deeply with passion and magic. Seriously, that would make my heart sing more than any movie. I have very little experience with that, but I've had countless daydreams about it since I was a little girl, and if the opportunity presented itself, I'd sure love to try.

But today, I had the thought that I'm OK with myself, just how I am, right here, right now. And that's incredible. I've worked extremely hard to have such thoughts. It has sure taken a lot of work and digging, and my books have been a huge part of that. But maybe one day, I'll be on that porch swing, and I'll look back at this blog entry and say, Hell yeah! It's happening. My characters are alive. And that would be fun!

Love to you,
C.A. MacConnell

Self.

 

Photo of me by Cameron Knight. The photo was actually taken during the heart of the day; he was experimenting with turning day photos into night photos. Rad. When day becomes night. :) I like the creativity of it. Have an awesome day.

Click/touch on any of the book covers on the right side of this page, and you'll find descriptions/purchase info for my rad novels.

More soon...stay tuned. XO. Hope I made you laugh yesterday. I have another site where I experiment with comedic voice and do character sketches. Right here. Just messing around, but you can see me in raw action, and it's hilarious. Not for the kiddos! Ha.

Love to you,
C.A. MacConnell

Freedom.

 

I am 50 today, and I had a busy, happy day. Grateful for so much...most of all, the freedom I feel in this moment. I have fought hard for moments like this. Right on. Hope you like this photo; it's pretty recent.

Love and light,

C.A. MacConnell

Night with You, Lions.

 
Night with You

Lions

Second photo on film. Hey, good morning! I just picked these two...they show some of my different styles/sides when I shoot. :) Quite different. I like them both for different reasons.

Just having some coffee. Last night, when my friend Anna asked me how I was doing, what was going on, and the like, I grinned and said, Well, there's a point when a person has so much going on that suddenly the feel of everything turns a corner, and one begins to think that it's all so ridiculous and such a freefall that there's no point in worrying, because it's off the charts. I might as well just relax. I'm already over the cliff, so whatever happens now, who cares. She laughed. She agreed.

It's like "the point of no return," and in that moment, everything just seems so wild that it's suddenly hilarious. Perhaps someone out there can relate. Ha, I'm actually laughing as I'm writing this. Just along for the ride. Wonder what's next? Not sure, but I'm gonna have some fun today, and I hope the stores play that awesome funk they were playing yesterday, because I was really dancing in the produce.

Hope you enjoy my photos. Don't forget to check out my awesome novels.

Love to you,
C.A. MacConnell

It Seems.

I'm afraid. I've woken up feeling like this a lot during my life. Everything seems strange and out of order. It feels like I'm reaching out for someone or something, and all I find is air. But then I notice the actual air -- the wind. The trees, the branches. I notice the way the leaves are gently trembling. I see two lost, wild turkeys. I hear some jazz drifting out from a nearby car. And I remember that I am a part of something vast, something I could never control or understand. And I remember that there is a great deal more to this mess than my individual plans and designs. I'm uncomfortable as all hell but strangely, the notion of a higher pattern fills me with a sense of awe and beauty.

I am a part of something, and I have a sense of the heart of it, and I always have, but I can't ever fully explain it.

But it seems to me that we are all in different stages of healing.

And so, good morning. Time for brekky. Love to you,
C.A. MacConnell

Photo, Intuitive Thought.

Photo by C.A. MacConnell

Intuitive Thought

Sometimes, it's nice to ask the universe for an intuitive thought. And often, I'll sense/hear something that is not in my usual line of thinking. Yesterday, I went to one of my secret places to get away. After some of my usual questioning, writing, musing, and such, I shut my eyes and listened. What did I hear? Something very simple:  It's going to be so much fun.

The message was so clear; it seemed like the trees were whispering to me, and all at once, I felt supported and alive. I smiled wide and trooped home, feeling a playful, confident spark.

It's going to be so much fun.

Chuckling just now, because I'm noticing my new, swifter way of working through things on my own, and I'm trusting myself in a deeper way, and I'd say that I'm even surprising myself. Powerful stuff. XO.

C.A. MacConnell

Warrior.

 

A warrior can look quite different than one would think. :) Vulnerability, to me, is a sign of strength. I felt vulnerable today but later, I felt a new strength creeping in. I go back and forth, but I suppose many people do. Going forward can be scary, because one doesn't know what to expect. I actually have no idea about much at the moment.  But I'm willing and open to go forward. I talked to God for some time today, and I expressed my fears, and it felt good to get it out. This evening, I feel calmer, centered, more grounded.

I'm learning how to roll with the fear and keep moving forward anyhow. :) Learning. I spent many years going in circles, for sure. Feels new, but right.

Hope you have a beautiful night. From one warrior to another. <3
C.A. MacConnell

Healing, and the Surprise.

I just read the suggestion that I'm a "continuous part of healing;" that is, a part of the whole world's healing. I liked the thought; it turns me into a part of some healing adventure, an inside adventure that radiates outward.

I've never grabbed on to the notion that the universe is a "puppeteer." I've never believed that I'm simply a figment of someone's controlling hand, no, but I do enjoy the idea of being "guided" into that which is good for me and in turn, helpful to others. And I do feel more relaxed when I relinquish control and simply let the winds carry me, so to speak. One has to do some work and take action to go forward, sure, but when I say, "let go," I mean, let go of expectations and results. Simply put, when I'm happy, when I'm willing to do that which feels right in my heart and leave the outcome to the universe, I'm better able to be helpful. And when I follow my heart and allow others to do the same, I believe that I'm letting go of results and showing love as well.

I enjoy musing about such things in the morning, but the focus changes all the time. I change all the time. Hopefully, my thoughts can be helpful to you. Today, I intend to see the magic in the small stuff and become a part of the world's healing, and perhaps I'll notice that which I normally wouldn't, because I admit that sometimes I'm too afraid or too blocked to see that which is good for me. 

And most of all, remember this important fact:  I have no idea. Ha. Truth. I can muse and write all day long about deep thoughts, but God sometimes throws me a surprise. Grinning just now.

Love to you,
C.A. MacConnell

Lost Glove 62.

 

Kinda beat up, this one, haha! But I like it for some reason. XO.
C.A. MacConnell

Little Yellow House.

 

My spiritual adviser just said this to me:  "Maybe God's plan is simply to grow and learn."  Something to think about. ;) Maybe. And I'm seeing that being uncomfortable is A-OK...part of the process. I'm learning so much about the way I fumble through things, ha. I'm learning to allow myself the freedom to be how I am...and of course, to allow others to do the same. And notice the ones who draw close when I continue to be real.

Powerful stuff. 

Hope your evening is everything you wish it to be. 

Love to you,

C.A. MacConnell

Good morning.

Lost Glove 35 :) I have 61 lost glove photos so far, ha.

Howdy, welcome. I'm an author/photographer with a master's degree in English and Creative Writing from Hollins University. 

Four Published Novels:  Amazon Author Page. Descriptions, reviews, purchase info. Or, simply touch/click any of the book covers on the right side of this page.

Facebook Page:  C.A. MacConnell. Send me a message about my art!

Official Bio:  here. Email/contact info, my creative background.

More to come! Photos, books. Stay Tuned. Thanks so much!

Hope your day is full of the creative wild. I love the wild. I used to push it away, because other people would downplay creativity, or suggest redirection, or try to hold me down. No more. :) I'm learning to embrace it and simply be how I am, in the day, in the moment.

C.A. MacConnell

Photo.

 

Good morning. Kind of one of my signature, simple tree shots. But the simple stuff can be quite emotive. :) I have a series of those...hope you have an awesome day! Love to you, C.A. MacConnell

All

All, Photo by C.A. MacConnell.

Good morning. Everyone needs a cheerleader, I think! I have some in my life...they are awesome.

Stuff they say:

You've got this.
You're already doing it.
You've been doing it successfully for a while!
Trust yourself.
Love you, sis! Keep going.
You're a warrior.
You're almost there...you can't give up now.
I think that's an amazing decision.
You're so strong.
You already have what it takes.
I have physical pain too.
I'm going through that right now, I understand.
I'm so glad to know you on my journey.
We're in this together.
I've always been a rulebreaker.
Sounds like you're feeling feelings.

Supportive, but free. I love it. And after a while, I start to feel it inside, and the words become my own. And then, I can pass it on, like I am right now.
C.A. MacConnell

Self.

 

Good morning. This was taken last night...I like it. Real. Made me laugh just now, though, because of the intense vibe. Ha. I flip back and forth between intense and ridiculously jokey. I have a very dry sense of humor, and it can be quite sarcastic at times. If I find someone else who gets my humor, I'm known to send a litany of funny texts...and I keep going. And going. And going. Even if they don't respond. I just keep going, if I'm on a roll. Hope you have a great day! Don't forget to check out my awesome novels.

Love to you,

C.A. MacConnell

Rock and Roll with the Waves

I've had some really happy days lately -- dancing in the aisles, feeling peace, enjoying music, having fun, cracking jokes with my friends in the stores, helping customers, being light.

And I've had some moments of heavy doubt sprinkled throughout. Usually these annoyances creep in when I have downtime, when I begin to ruminate about what I "should be" doing. I have always been too hard on myself, and it's an old tape that rolls around my brain. Have to win, win, win. And if you win, you better work hard to win again. Yikes. Have to keep this up. Have to win at horse shows, win writing awards, be a NY Times bestseller or you suck, and on and on. It's as if I'm screaming out at the world, searching for love in winnings and achievements and of course, this kind of love is fleeting. Winning is fun, but it's a ridiculous calling as well, because I'm an extremely hard worker anyway, so there's no reason for it, but the words are still there sometimes.

But it's OK to have these thoughts too. It allows me to notice how I'm changing.

When I don't worry, when I just enjoy the day and try to be kind and helpful...that's when I'm at my best. When I do some art, enjoy the moment and the process. When I sit and write to you from my heart. Then I'm excited, carefree, strong. All of these things make me happier. If winnings roll in, cool. If not, cool.

Right here, right now, I'm in a bit of physical pain, but not too bad considering how I busted my ass yesterday, ha. I'm having a cup of coffee, thinking about the spirit of the universe. I'm well-rested, and that's something. I'm also thinking about how I love swings -- beach swings, porch swings, playground swings. I always have. I daydream about swings and the water all the time...we used to go to Bear Lake in the summers. Early morning, when I was little, I had a secret place on one of these swings, and I would sneak out, hit the beach swing, and rock and roll with the waves all alone when no one was around, and the thought of the image brings me such comfort.

Good, bad, winning, losing, dark, light. It's all there, and I'm not afraid of any of it anymore. It's become easier to roll with the waves, so to speak. A few weeks ago, I was at the car wash, and I called my spiritual adviser, and I was a ridiculous wreck. He listened to me for some time, and I was quite distraught. A literal puddle of grievances. No, not a puddle, a thunderstorm. Quietly, he listened. After I was done with my tearful, primal rant, he asked me one question:  "Do you deserve peace?"

That was his only response.

Immediately, this simple question struck me with a force, and it turned me around. Because I halted. My obsessions waned, and I knew that I do indeed deserve peace. I'm worthy of it, and I just have to allow myself to feel and be peaceful with myself however I am. Do I love myself? I suppose this is a lifetime job, and I think God is helping me learn how to better understand this notion so that I can spread it outward.

Right here, right now. Rolling with the waves, allowing myself to freely feel and embrace the world accordingly, following the "God inside." Peace comes when I accept all of myself -- the gutters and the mountains -- and try to help and give back.

We all deserve peace.

Love to you,
C.A. MacConnell

Flow

 

Film shot. Good morning. 

C.A. MacConnell

Style

Stickers, shorts,
Band-aids, skin, loose hair.
Faded shirt.
A stranger said, I love that movie.
Again, I responded, There were two.

C.A. MacConnell

P.S. Just some flash poetry for ya. Good morning. Have a good day.