Good morning. I'm achy, but my heart is full. Hope you have a good day. Love to you.
C.A. MacConnell
5/30/2023
Girl, Sayler Park.
Good morning. I'm achy, but my heart is full. Hope you have a good day. Love to you.
C.A. MacConnell
5/29/2023
Temple of Love
I took this picture about 17 years ago; it was a film shot. Just came across it.
It's called, the "Temple of Love," by locals, or the "Temple of Vesta," and it's located at Mt. Storm Park; the structure is all that's left of the estate of former Clifton mayor, Robert Bowler. Pretty cool: Bowler hosted a number of prominent guests at his estate including Edward, Prince of Wales, later King of England, and Charles Dickens. In 1845, Bowler hired Adolph Straucha, a well-known landscape architect from Vienna, Austria, to design the Temple. Bowler's land once included a mansion, a wine cellar, 17 greenhouses, a waterfall, and a lake with black swans. In 1911, the Temple was included in the park land. Rad.
It is believed that the first structure honoring Vesta dated back to the 3rd century BCE. Apparently, it was a simple, circular hut celebrating "the home."
The local rumor around Mt. Storm was that if you met someone within this structure, the person was your soul mate, and the two of you would marry and be together forever.
I used to frequently visit this park...but I stuck to the lookout and the rolling hills. I sat on the Temple steps a few times. It is a magnificent piece of land.
C.A. MacConnell
5/28/2023
Comedy Writings.
Ha, there is some action over on the F'n Rad Dating Site today, I hear, after a brief hiatus. Although there was another dater we were going to post today, we're hanging on to that one for a special occasion. Until then, check out SweatItOut987, a really vulnerable bachelor.
If you want a laugh, check out my other site. :)
Love,
C.A. MacConnell
Once, a Working Barn
If you look close, you'll see the turkey vulture. :) I'm actually sitting here cracking up, as I've written a character sketch, but I have to keep it to myself for now, otherwise, I will surely get in trouble, haha, but I will save it for a later date, because it's so damn funny. I will show you when it's time.
Hope you're smiling too,
C.A. MacConnell
5/24/2023
The Country Club
Good morning. Despite this ridiculous neck, I feel strong today. Lately, I've been swiftly turning "former rabbit holes of dark moods" into positivity and strength, a new ability. I used to barrel downward all day, if I became hooked on something...take on others' emotions or actions, and the like and sometimes, I'd go there for weeks. Now, I'm able to turn it around soon. It's a lovely feeling to be letting go of the old me. I'm sure I'll write more on it later, but I need some time to adjust to all of this newness creeping in. It's a powerful feeling of individuality and letting go. For sure, it'll change my writing too. Here's a rather powerful poem for you. C.A. MacConnell
The Country Club
Their world rages pink,
like a chapped lip,
like a strange,
split sunset
on the mouth
of a private plane.
Some smoke cigars
in the basement.
Leather lazy boys.
Nothing but time
and sheep.
Today’s party
is in the main room,
down the hall,
the side table beneath
the exclusive painting.
A golf course view
of buttons and zippers.
Windbreakers.
For the children,
somewhere near
the all-you-can-eat
buffet, they'll bring in
five or twenty
live bunnies.
C.A. MacConnell
The Country Club
Their world rages pink,
like a chapped lip,
like a strange,
split sunset
on the mouth
of a private plane.
Some smoke cigars
in the basement.
Leather lazy boys.
Nothing but time
and sheep.
Today’s party
is in the main room,
down the hall,
the side table beneath
the exclusive painting.
A golf course view
of buttons and zippers.
Windbreakers.
For the children,
somewhere near
the all-you-can-eat
buffet, they'll bring in
five or twenty
live bunnies.
C.A. MacConnell
5/23/2023
Desert.
Let me just tell you, I am dying to see the mountains. It's so beautiful outside.
Love to you,
C.A. MacConnell
5/22/2023
5/21/2023
Photo
Good morning. I love this photo. The moment of discovery. :) I have so many new thoughts and discoveries myself. In a way, I kind of feel like these kids.
C.A. MacConnell
5/20/2023
Open House
I think you would
like this place.
Shower water turns cold to shock.
Think short, kid fingers
burning in the snow.
I slip into my blue jacket.
I lace up my combat boots.
Outside, some windows slide open,
and the rest resting slam
shut. Somewhere, sweat
darkens a neck. Others
surely shiver home, straight
into the vein. Scattered in the square,
sleeping on benches,
tattooed girls cross and uncross,
pulling at wide-stretched
ears, twitching and laughing
near lonely, old men. Late skater boys
fuck, snake, paint, relate.
One of them, the smallest,
a half-finished painting…
well, he looks like you –
gaunt and buried within a yellowish glow
of lamp. I want to walk
with you. I want to step
on the heels of your shoes.
Alone feels right in this artist
light. Muted, a heavy makeup, it hides
the deepest flaws.
A splinter breaks free.
Now it’s caught in my curls,
and love is the man
who finally pries it loose. Well, now I am
almost inside. I feel almost
pretty. I think you would
like this place.
C.A. MacConnell
like this place.
Shower water turns cold to shock.
Think short, kid fingers
burning in the snow.
I slip into my blue jacket.
I lace up my combat boots.
Outside, some windows slide open,
and the rest resting slam
shut. Somewhere, sweat
darkens a neck. Others
surely shiver home, straight
into the vein. Scattered in the square,
sleeping on benches,
tattooed girls cross and uncross,
pulling at wide-stretched
ears, twitching and laughing
near lonely, old men. Late skater boys
fuck, snake, paint, relate.
One of them, the smallest,
a half-finished painting…
well, he looks like you –
gaunt and buried within a yellowish glow
of lamp. I want to walk
with you. I want to step
on the heels of your shoes.
Alone feels right in this artist
light. Muted, a heavy makeup, it hides
the deepest flaws.
A splinter breaks free.
Now it’s caught in my curls,
and love is the man
who finally pries it loose. Well, now I am
almost inside. I feel almost
pretty. I think you would
like this place.
C.A. MacConnell
5/19/2023
Marrero, LA
I didn't like New Orleans, but I loved the swamp tour! Our tour guide was like some dude off the Jaws boat. He was obsessed with gators, he seemed half-loaded, his face was a smiley map of lines, and he was always half-sideways, crazily grinning, like he was about to throw some tourist into the water at any moment, and I knew that he wanted a cigar or cigarette or joint every second. I was for sure staying on his good side, but big-eyed and intrigued, I was drinking in his words with a passion. The gators gathered around his boat and listened to him as if he were their king.
Whoa, yeah,
Whoa, yeah,
C.A. MacConnell
5/17/2023
Footprint
Good morning. I just slept 10 hours, much needed, and my eye is better, thank you to modern medicine antibiotic drops. The funny thing is you can't see the cut b/c the cut's on the side behind the lid...so it looks like I'm crying wolf. What can I say...I'm the queen of problems you "can't see."
Yesterday, I posted on FB that I realized I hadn't dated anyone in eight years, which is true. Ten really, emotionally speaking. I wasn't really concerned about the reaction, but the reaction was interesting.
I've been revising some essays, waiting to hear about other things regarding books. I'm not hell-bent on anything at the moment...just working nonstop, trying to pay bills. No worries, it keeps me out of trouble, and for now, it's just my life, and I'm cool with where I'm at. All part of the process, and I'm content with this notion.
Anyway, hope you like the picture. A little simple one for you.
Yesterday, I posted on FB that I realized I hadn't dated anyone in eight years, which is true. Ten really, emotionally speaking. I wasn't really concerned about the reaction, but the reaction was interesting.
I've been revising some essays, waiting to hear about other things regarding books. I'm not hell-bent on anything at the moment...just working nonstop, trying to pay bills. No worries, it keeps me out of trouble, and for now, it's just my life, and I'm cool with where I'm at. All part of the process, and I'm content with this notion.
Anyway, hope you like the picture. A little simple one for you.
Love to you,
C.A. MacConnell
5/16/2023
Photo: Jeffrey's Bench, Jeffrey and Bella
Usually, Jeffrey sat at the bench, but then he started bringing his own chair. I only spoke with him once, but we had a lovely conversation. Not sure why I picked these to post today. Just like them I suppose.
The guys let me come home from work, which was nice. It seems I cut my eyeball, which hurts, if you've ever had that happen. But a doc squeezed me in, and I now have some drops and such, so I guess I'm on the mend. A lesson that I've been doing too much too fast, for sure. ;) Came home, took a bunch of ibuprofen, and I told myself this: now, don't do anything. Course, then I threw in a load of laundry, ha. Well, you know. Still learning.
Love to you,
C.A. MacConnell
Love to you,
C.A. MacConnell
5/15/2023
5/14/2023
Photo.
Ha, this is kind of a creepy photo, I know, but I like it. Kind of has that "Chucky" vibe. That's what I'll aim for now when it comes to all relationships -- disturbed, killer-possessed dolls, bring 'em my way, I'm sure we'll get along. I have to laugh at myself this morning. Yesterday, I was at a spiritual group, and I was so bored, so I went outside, smoked a cig, and I saw two tiny birds playing in the sky. They were darting and diving around, having so much fun! That made me smile. :) That's about all the deep thought I have for you at the moment.
This morning, I was looking back at some of my essays, and I was going to post one, but I realized that my perspective on nearly every single one...was different, ha. Looks like I have some revising to do.
Hope you have an awesome day. Love to you,
C.A. MacConnell
5/13/2023
Photo: Giraffe
An old film shot I just came across. :) Thought you might like it. Made me grin. Also made me think about patterns. Due to some deep work, I'm seeing so many ingrained patterns in my life, in my history, and I admit that at the moment, it's rather annoying to be aware, ha, because sometimes I'd rather just run around blind. With awareness comes some rough patches, but there's always another side, in my experience and well, I only go forward from here, because there's no going back.
But the cool thing about this picture is that it also reminded me of this: when it comes to giraffes, the pattern is there to help them survive, and it only changes as they grow.
But the cool thing about this picture is that it also reminded me of this: when it comes to giraffes, the pattern is there to help them survive, and it only changes as they grow.
I suppose I'm drawn to those who push me, even if it is unsettling at times. And here's the irony...the people we love the most are the ones who upset us the most, it seems. As the character, Sarah, in the movie, Waking the Dead, puts it, "I find you so infuriating!" She says so because she's soulfully frustrated and full of passionate love, but she's challenged at the same time. I love that line. That about nails it. So intricate, that film.
You, even from a distance, are one of those people, because as I write to you, I write to me, and knowing you're there pushes me to barrel through this mess we call life. I suppose that's why I write to you. I find the internal challenge interesting, and it makes me want more.
And deep down, I know we're all a reflection of each other. It's just that some of us are closer.
Just what's on my mind. Hope you have a nice night.
Love to you,
C.A. MacConnell
5/12/2023
Skater's Point
I love this photo! I was in Santa Barbara...I was researching The House of Anchor, my sophomore book, so I hit up this skate park. Hope you get a chance to check it out. It's an adventure/mystery, and it's "all things 90s." The dialogue is so fun. I haven't looked at it since I published it in 2017, though. I never do look back after I release something. I think it'd make such a cool Netflix series, with all of those wild characters in the mix. The Hole and Strange Skin too, for that matter. Griffin I see as a movie.
I love to dream about such things. When I'm writing, I'm intensely visual...I often see my books as films even when it's on paper. Just my thing. This morning, I was repeating positive affirmations about my writing, and I've been doing that lately. I've worked hard. There has to be a place for a strange girl like me. People like to hire all sorts of "exceptional" folks, right? Hope so. I'm ready to start something new.
I went on quite a few adventures in Santa Barbara. The park, the beach, the vendors, and I remember one extremely sunburned homeless man who sticks in my mind, because I was really feeling for him that day. When I was at Starbucks, a group of people were looking at me weirdly and whispering, I remember. I must've stuck out with my Midwest outfit, I dunno. I distinctly remember feeling self-conscious.
This morning, I have this feeling that more change is coming...not sure in what area of my life, but I'm ready.
I hope you're happy, whatever you're getting into. :) <3 to you,
I love to dream about such things. When I'm writing, I'm intensely visual...I often see my books as films even when it's on paper. Just my thing. This morning, I was repeating positive affirmations about my writing, and I've been doing that lately. I've worked hard. There has to be a place for a strange girl like me. People like to hire all sorts of "exceptional" folks, right? Hope so. I'm ready to start something new.
I went on quite a few adventures in Santa Barbara. The park, the beach, the vendors, and I remember one extremely sunburned homeless man who sticks in my mind, because I was really feeling for him that day. When I was at Starbucks, a group of people were looking at me weirdly and whispering, I remember. I must've stuck out with my Midwest outfit, I dunno. I distinctly remember feeling self-conscious.
This morning, I have this feeling that more change is coming...not sure in what area of my life, but I'm ready.
I hope you're happy, whatever you're getting into. :) <3 to you,
C.A. MacConnell
5/11/2023
From the Paperclip
From the Paperclip
In the beginning, I was buried
in the middle of the pile --
tangled, attached to two others,
and I could barely breathe or see.
Hooked, we call it. Together,
even lost and scattered,
we laugh a lot, but we never
let anyone hear. The wild,
black-haired woman is in charge
of us. One whole year went by
before I broke loose. Yesterday,
after she shook us awake
for no reason at all, I was finally
on top of the rest. Slightly sideways,
the perfect angle, I'm sure I'm next.
We're all waiting for her fingers.
Today, I saw her look this way.
If she reaches, she might decide
to dig instead, and then, her pinch
will miss me. If she touches lightly,
gracing the surface, she'll find me
waiting. But if I am chosen,
no one knows where the stack
will take me. Only one came back,
and she was coated in yellow vinyl.
If that happens to me, I hope God
is kind enough to choose purple.
C.A. MacConnell
5/10/2023
Photo: Mechanic
Good morning. This one was taken w/ film. I've always liked it. I remember I was driving a Ford Escort wagon at the time. Loved that car, ha, b/c it had a Mitsubishi engine, so it was like a hidden firecracker. I do love cars, and I love to drive, always have. I know they're bad for the environment. I always thought we'd be flying around like the Jetsons by now. But of course, there are many solutions that people don't want to see, or they don't want to lose money, or whatnot. I could, but I don't feel like getting deeper, haha, but you get the drift. Yesterday, I almost got in a whammo of an internet argument over horse racing, but I decided to wait for later.
I've been causing many a ruckus lately. I admit this year, I've become much more outspoken, and people have no idea how to take me now. For instance, when someone makes a comment about my body, in the past, I might've just taken it in and felt bad. Now I'll say, "Wow, I'm so sorry you don't like what I look like. Have a fucking good week." Hahaha. Love to you,
C.A. MacConnell
I've been causing many a ruckus lately. I admit this year, I've become much more outspoken, and people have no idea how to take me now. For instance, when someone makes a comment about my body, in the past, I might've just taken it in and felt bad. Now I'll say, "Wow, I'm so sorry you don't like what I look like. Have a fucking good week." Hahaha. Love to you,
C.A. MacConnell
5/09/2023
Reception: Apartment 52
Evening. Rabbit ears.
Dad always said she should lower
her expenses.
But until this night, she didn't know
about the Siberian Unicorn;
she’s finally getting reception.
How she wants to live
25,000 years ago.
What a beast.
C.A. MacConnell
Dad always said she should lower
her expenses.
But until this night, she didn't know
about the Siberian Unicorn;
she’s finally getting reception.
How she wants to live
25,000 years ago.
What a beast.
C.A. MacConnell
5/06/2023
Photos
Drive Through
Honeysuckle
Just some shots I took today after work. Nine hours of hustle, but I have a goal in mind, so that keeps me energized.
I wish you all of the good things.
C.A. MacConnell
I wish you all of the good things.
C.A. MacConnell
5/05/2023
From the Turtle
I just wrote this. From the POV of the turtle. :)
From the Turtle
I will find the light soon
we all will
I’ve been under the ice
for a while
which is boring
I was afraid I might die last year
the first time
under here
because would you believe
I wasn’t even hungry
and my skin was breathing
for me
last spring, I couldn’t understand
Mom disappeared for hours
with the old man
I guess it was fun
but they were both crying
then I had five sisters
four are pretty easy to swim with
they taught me to dive
the middle one is bad
too much, she snaps
she bit a fingertip right off once
I was so sorry for the person
but I didn’t know what to say
ten hours I crawled
I went to the woods
I met a lonely goose
I will find the light soon
I am two now
my family
has been here a long time
at least seven summers
I guess summer is the same thing as sex
I’m not sure
I’m not big on worms
but crickets are delicious
I will find the light soon
I hear the toads
they are so loud it hurts
the sides of my head
they’re yelling about Snake on the rocks
in the sun
maybe I will join him
not too close
can’t trust the quiet
always working, no play
poor guy
waiting around for legs to grow
I keep telling him
anyday now
Once I was crossing the sidewalk
it took me all day to get half way
all of a sudden
the human took a hold
of my shell
I was upside down
and dizzy
I thought I might lose something on the inside
I pulled my head in to play
hide-and-seek with her
I think she was afraid
her eyes were like flies
and would you believe
she set me down
back at the beginning
I will find the light soon
C.A. MacConnell
From the Turtle
I will find the light soon
we all will
I’ve been under the ice
for a while
which is boring
I was afraid I might die last year
the first time
under here
because would you believe
I wasn’t even hungry
and my skin was breathing
for me
last spring, I couldn’t understand
Mom disappeared for hours
with the old man
I guess it was fun
but they were both crying
then I had five sisters
four are pretty easy to swim with
they taught me to dive
the middle one is bad
too much, she snaps
she bit a fingertip right off once
I was so sorry for the person
but I didn’t know what to say
ten hours I crawled
I went to the woods
I met a lonely goose
I will find the light soon
I am two now
my family
has been here a long time
at least seven summers
I guess summer is the same thing as sex
I’m not sure
I’m not big on worms
but crickets are delicious
I will find the light soon
I hear the toads
they are so loud it hurts
the sides of my head
they’re yelling about Snake on the rocks
in the sun
maybe I will join him
not too close
can’t trust the quiet
always working, no play
poor guy
waiting around for legs to grow
I keep telling him
anyday now
Once I was crossing the sidewalk
it took me all day to get half way
all of a sudden
the human took a hold
of my shell
I was upside down
and dizzy
I thought I might lose something on the inside
I pulled my head in to play
hide-and-seek with her
I think she was afraid
her eyes were like flies
and would you believe
she set me down
back at the beginning
I will find the light soon
C.A. MacConnell
5/03/2023
Oh, and this one, this is the good'n
Those white specks are b/c this is a photo of a photo, ha. I have no idea what happened to the original, but someone has it framed somewhere..I once sold a huge copy, as well as a small copy. Wish I still had it. :)
C.A. MacConnell
