From the Hyena

Ha, just working on some voices. Enjoy, C.A. MacConnell

From the Hyena 

I am giggle-hiding, zebra, in case you didn't notice me here
next to the skinny
tree. Damn, I wish you weren't alive.
There will be so much trouble-work to do.
I have to crush the bones and everything.
What a pain, but here I am, right behind you, right beside you,
scratching my back on the tree now, cracking
up and hiding.

Hello! You still don't see me? Hilarious. Here I am, back
here, and I can
see you. Right there, you dumb, striped, ignorant horse-want-to-be, ahahahahaha.
I am so distracted and excited 
for you,
zebra. Just so you know, it only takes me two minutes
to make a gazelle disappear.

You, zebra, would take a while.

Zebra, you are funny, you and your black and white.
How's about some color?! Girl, you are weak, next to the strong
one. My spots are better than your stripes, and you smell
delicious.

Damn, damn, I wish you weren't alive.
Sooooooo hahahaha much trouble. 

Whoa, ha, hee, my back hurts today, right down next to the tail.

What are you doing here in these parts? Ha!

I could tear into your skin right now
if I wanted to, but the rest of the pack isn't heehee here yet.
Let me take a better look at you. I bet you didn't even see me
turn,
I was so fastttttt. I can corner better than any dog.
I bet you're jealous,
girl. I am giggling harder now, I am so distracted and excited.

Where are the others?

I am laughing loud now, and I'm almost choking.
Funny, zebra, because there are 65 of us coming soon,
and the girls are so annoying and bossy, haha.
Don't tell them I said that.

You better find your herd, zebra, or you will be ours,
you good for nothing horse-want-to-be. Ha, I know, I messed up.
I made that joke already once.

The others said we had our noses set on the giraffes instead and so, I wait,
looking at you and your stupid stripes, haha. 
I can't wait to dig in!
All of us can take one of those tall, yellow, fellows down.
Ha, ha, ha, I could shatter your skull right now, you stripey dum dum.

Oh, wait, I think I see a bird, yes, hello.
Snacktime. Oh, haha, I hate the feet, but I have to finish it all,
or the girls will show their dicks, 
and none of us want that. Hahahaha! 

I have to go, hee, hee. We have to clean up a rhino.
I can't wait for the horn!

It will be a frenzy later, and I am so excited!

I think I swallowed some spit while I was chuckling just now.

The rhino has fallen. I smell that fat monster. The girls go first
for the best pickings. Oh shit, the vultures followed us.
They are so annoying, those stalkers, haha.

Great, we have jackals coming too hee hee no worries.
Those lazy good for nothings will wait until the girls do all the hard
work.

Geez, ha. Life is ridiculous. All I want
are the ribs.

But let's be happy. This will feed us for days.

C.A. MacConnell

Photos: Virginia 3, 2, 1

 

Good afternoon. I took these yesterday. I didn't edit them at all...I just loved how they turned out. I spent a day in Virginia, celebrating the life of my friend's father, and everyone was singing, playing, eating, laughing, and hugging each other. It was quite a real, joyful scene. I <3 Virginia, and I plan to end up living there again, for sure. It feels like home to me. Those mountains, glorious indeed. And the feel of it is much more laid back and authentic, in my opinion. There's a strong, long-lasting bond between folks...something that holds true to my heart.

Hope you enjoy my photos. I think they're some of my greatest.

Love to you,
C.A. MacConnell

Photos: Whisper of God, They Listen

 
Whisper of God

They Listen

Hey there. Just sitting here doing some laundry. The calm after the storm! Coming down from a stressful time. Nice to be writing to you. And sharing some shots I just took. I saw both of these in black and white when I took them...the perfect light for it that day. :)

Hope you like them. I do. 

Now it's time to regroup and create! I've been singing a lot, and I've been chiseling away at some of Book Six, as well as some poetry. I've been keeping to myself lately, as far as internet goes. Just needing some quiet. I'm sure you get that!

I do enjoy watching videos of Tom Cruise running, as well as horse jumping videos. I could watch those two things all day long, ha. I love how he runs. It always perks me up, ha. I publicly challenged him to a race, but he hasn't responded yet. I think because of overwhelming fear of my speed.

I will start sharing some things with you soon, and I plan on getting back to this blog, as it's a nice little practice space sometimes, for sure. And I love connecting with you.

Love to you. I'm proud of my perseverance, and I hope you are too. Lately, I've seen deer, bunnies, and a funny little possum. I also saw a great white egret on my walk not long ago. What else? I suppose I'm glad to just have the simple things. Today, I have everything I need, and I'm grateful.

C.A. MacConnell

Worth It

 

I was just looking through my photos. I have so many incredible shots. This is one of my all-time favorites. I have a lot of favorites. I suppose I should organize them and do something with them. Any ideas? A book? Sell at festivals? Hm. I'd like to share them with folks. For now, just enjoy this shot. Have a nice evening. I had so many laughs today...and, I'm working on a poem. <3

C.A. MacConnell

Author Page

Self, 9/5/26

 

Hi there. This was me a few days ago. I like it. I was out at Sharon Woods.

Just saying hello. Life has been "lifeing," as people say and so, I haven't had a chance to write to you! Hopefully, things will settle down soon, and I can get back to what I love...singing and writing.

You see, I'm sitting here in my apartment, typing to you while they're tearing out my entire bedroom ceiling, due to a tree that fell on my apartment when we had those raging storms not long ago. I also had no power or hot water for five days. Indeed, it made me grateful for the small stuff. There are a few holes in the roof...so, right now, at the moment, I kind of have a skylight.

Oh my. It's been a tough, tough month.

However, it could have been much worse. And, it'll be taken care of soon. Presently, my bedroom stuff is kind of in my kitchen. And there's interesting dust and crap decorating the whole place. Ha. Come on over!

Even so, I'm working on getting some talks scheduled SOON. I plan to tell my story and talk about my fifth book, RECOVER WILDLY:  DAILY SPIRITUAL ESSAYS FOR SURVIVORS. If you haven't read it, please check it out. The feedback has been amazing. Thank you to the CAT House for purchasing some books and supporting my work! Love that. Hopefully, it'll help a gazillion folks.

I also have four awesome fiction books. Right here.

Love to you. I'm going to get the hell out of here. It's a mess, putting it mildly.

Ha.

C.A. MacConnell

On My Way

Every day, I deliver to folks who represent all walks of life; their income levels, ages, and backgrounds drastically vary. And of course, everyone is experiencing random stages of life, dealing with different responsibilities -- work, family, internal battles, injuries, successes, failures, setbacks, losses, and on and on, ad infinitum.

One moment, I meet retired folks who need assistance bringing groceries into the kitchen. In the living room, I notice a beautiful grand piano. The next, I come across a family with ten children, some of which are on the way to school, and three of them help me unload the groceries. Third, a man in a wheelchair greets me at the door. Later, an elderly lady laughs about the wine she ordered. In a back room, I spot shy, long-haired, little girls wearing dresses and fancy glasses. And finally, at the end of the day, a toddler waves at me from the window. She's beaming, excited about the strange, seemingly magical visitor bringing "presents." Certainly, I make a tiny Santa, but I think I'd be a good one.

I spy cats, fish and sometimes, horses, goats, chickens, and miniature ponies. Once, an owl. I've heard hawks, roosters, alarms, fire trucks, police cars, laughter, eerie quiet, and fiery arguments. In one part of town, people often drive golf carts and exercise outside in the middle of the day. Children ride bikes and scooters. Sometimes, preteens wander around in twos or threes. In another part of town, no one is outside. The doors are shut. The window air conditioners are dripping on the porches. And down the road, a woman and her newborn greet me at the fountain in front of their mansion. I see couples without a car and couples with five car garages. I notice trees, sculptures, vehicles, people on porches, the colors of houses, the animals, the quiet, and the noise.

I see it all. And the dogs...

One time, a woman opens the door, and two Dobermans appear, one on either side of her. While I unload the groceries, they don't bark, move, or growl. Simply, they look at me. That's it. Another day, I deliver to a farmhouse, and a Rottweiler is furiously gnashing his teeth, barking at me. Luckily, he's on a rope. Once, I knock on the door, and an enormous, female Pit Bull tears out of the apartment, bolting straight toward me. She jumps up on me and licks me. And still another day, I drive up to the house, and I happen to leave my driver's side car door open. When the customer opens the front door, a German Shepherd runs outside and jumps into my car, ready for a ride. And the funniest of all -- one time, when the customer opens the house door, an enormous, tan/white dog escapes. After I make the delivery, I drive around the neighborhood, find the dog, and he jumps in my backseat. And so, I circle and take him back to the house. Afterward, whenever I see him, he shows an interesting absolute adoration for me. When he sees me, he can barely contain himself. I have luck with the animals; they seem to like/accept me. I know when to keep a distance, but there are many surprises.

People often mention injuries or health problems. That's probably the most frequent topic. But many days, they never appear. I just deliver, see a glimpse of the house and maybe, I'll meet a dog. I've been to some houses hundreds of times, and I've never met the folks, but I've met the dogs. How bizarre.

Strange. I flicker in, flicker out. And then, I'm on my way again.

I am a person who likes to move. Even when I'm writing, I'm moving...my mind is moving, that is. This is the perfect job for a person like me, but I barely make enough to get by. I love it, I do. Of course, there are bad days but mostly, I love it. And I especially adore cracking up with all of my friends in the stores. It is a good transition for me. 

See, this isn't going to last forever. I have health issues to consider, and I have to make some different moves, due to losing health care soon. I have no idea what's next for me, but I hope my efforts prove to be something that will sustain me in this mess we call an "economy." All around, people are struggling. For the masses, the salaries don't match the cost of living, not even close. And the health care doesn't match the need. Far from it. 

Moment to moment, I never know. I take it all in. And then, I come home, and I consider how I could be any one of these folks that I meet. Or I think about this:  maybe I have experienced all of these lives before. Or maybe I never have. Maybe we're here once, and there's one shot, and we never return.

The mystery of it all. The strangeness, the unique aspects of human life.

How we struggle, how we rejoice, how we carry on. The similarities are striking. We all have to make different moves. We all struggle and rejoice. We all face trauma. We all have financial issues. We all have health problems. And we all have times of "losing everything" and times of "beginning again."

And as far as I can tell, amidst the hustle, beneath it all, we all have curious hearts that long for the exact same feeling; that is, a feeling of peace and love.

I am on my way somewhere. And so are you.

Love to you,
C.A. MacConnell

P.S. If you like this, you'll like RECOVER WILDLY. Check out my author page too. <3

Good Enough

There is a clear moment that stands out in my mind. I was seventeen, wearing jeans and a T-shirt, sitting on top of the thick, white comforter on my bed, wishing it was red. Mentally, I was beating myself up. I felt extremely ugly, lost, lonely, and lacking in every area. I wanted to cry, but I was too angry to cry. It felt as if the crying was stuck inside the center of my chest, boiling.

Like every other day, I dreamed about Gem Twist, a grey, and Big Ben, a chestnut, two champion horses -- jumpers -- whose photos were forever frozen in my mind. I thought that if I imagined hard enough, they both may appear in my room. How I wished to be their riders. How I longed for the skill, the opportunities, the prestige, and the winnings. The admiration, yes. I longed for that attention so much that it literally burned inside of me.

Every single day, I practiced. Through blisters, the scorch of sun, the hail, the storms, the clear days, the setbacks, the ribbons, the falls, the back pain, the work, work, work, I practiced. I skipped school to practice. I was at the barn on Christmas.

There was not one day in my childhood that I didn't think about this dream. I don't think there were even many moments when I didn't think about it. It was always inside me, lurking there, pushing me to keep going, get better, and compete. More, more, more.

Dreams are wonderful. Horses are wonderful. And so were all of my friends at the barns -- both human and animal. Ah, and all of the cats and dogs and snakes and mice, everything. Wonderful. Spider webs, dust, hay, shavings -- I loved it all.

But...there was also not one day in my childhood that I felt like this:  good enough. I'd be champion at a show and then, I was focused on the next show. I'd have a bad show, and I'd want to bury myself. I'd achieve a new goal, and I couldn't enjoy it long enough to celebrate the moment. Nothing filled me. No ribbon, no applause.

I never felt good enough.

And as I write to you right now, I'm realizing that even if I were riding Gem Twist, and I was champion in all of the world, I am sure there still would have been that gnawing feeling of "not good enough."

That moment...sitting on my bed, not even the comforter was good enough. Inside, I was a terrified little girl who felt unloved, and my whole world was dark. I used winning or losing at shows to balance my emotions. 

I had absolutely no idea that real, true victories happen on the inside.

Some years later, I got sober, and I began to learn about all of this. But I still remember that hole in my heart as if it were yesterday. And sure, it comes back sometimes.

But I know that I am good enough. I always was. I didn't need ribbons or a fancy horse. I missed out on many beautiful moments because of my obsession with wanting more.

I am good enough right now.

Of course, now I have dreams that involve my books. I'd love to see them become movies. I'd love to sell millions of copies and touch the hearts of folks all around the world. But I have to be careful not to see it as the culmination of my life's worth. Because who I am is what fills me, not the idea of more, more, more.

Indeed, it's important to take action to improve one's life, but there is a balance here. And so, I promote some, I continue to write, I hope and wish, sure, but in this moment, I ask myself, "Did I make someone laugh today? Where could I have done better? Did I feel good in my heart today? Did I spread this goodness? Did I show folks love? And right now, how do I feel in relation to my character?"

I feel good about it. I feel proud of my five authentic books. I feel good about creating songs in churches. I feel good about cracking folks up in the stores today. I feel good about getting food to a family that doesn't have a car. I feel good about this essay. 

This is the stuff that radiates outward -- laughter, love, creativity, joy, and connection, the daily practice of touching others' souls. Today, I met a sweet Doberman. How random and how beautiful. We shared a divine moment.

I have come a long way from that seventeen-year-old girl who was so desperately alone and trying to fill that never-ending hole inside. Nothing would have sufficed.

So, after thinking over my day, I shot out a few emails about giving talks and having book signings. And I messed around on social media. But that wasn't the focus of my day. What is the focus of my day?

You.

Love to you,
C.A. MacConnell

Square Puddle, Where the Bridge Used to Be

 
Square Puddle

Where the Bridge Used to Be

Hey there. Just some little gems I took today. Not very often that you see a perfectly square puddle, ha. The other used to be a bridge but now, there is only blank space between. It's actually a lot higher than it appears in the photo. I was up high! So, the look of it is deceiving.

I have been celebrating the day, just because recently, I've done a lot of hard work in my recovery, in my deliveries, in my writing life, the whole gamut. So, I bought myself some presents -- some earrings, some T-shirts, and a new backpack. It was super fun. Something I rarely do, as I'm not a fan of shopping, but I decided I needed to "spruce up," and the money went to the park, so that was cool. Win-win. The earrings are honeycombs and mushrooms. :) I just tried on the honeycombs, and I was loving them. You'll be seeing them often, haha.

This writing on this ridiculously ancient blog site is nothing like my fiction. Last night, I started reading THE HOUSE OF ANCHOR for the first time in a long time, and I ended up reading 100 pages. After I finish a book, I usually don't revisit it, ever. The idea is terrifying to me. I've heard actors say a similar thing...that after they do a movie, they don't want to see it. I get that! But, for some reason, I decided to pick the book up last night, and I got hooked on my own story. Hilarious. While I was reading, I even smoked a bunch of cigs like they're doing in the book. At a certain point, I was like, oh man, it's easy to get lost in this sucker. Seriously, it's so good. Check it out. When I'm dead, I'm sure someone will pick it up and the genius book will sell millions all over the world. Hahaha.

It's so good, just saying.

All of my books are incredible. You can find them all on Amazon now. Here's my author page. They are all designed, created, edited, and written by me. Entirely a solo effort. And no AI, no way. 

As I've said, I'm working on moving forward with some talks for RECOVER WILDLY:  DAILY SPIRITUAL ESSAYS FOR SURVIVORS. I've done one such talk already, and it was really rad. I'm hoping to really expand on that, as I love to speak, and I'd be thrilled to share my experience and help some folks.

That's the goal...we're in this together!

We all have amazing stories, don't we?

Now, I hope to see you soon. I can't wait to show you my T-shirts. They're rad. I'm debating getting glasses again. I've now bought three pairs and returned three pairs. I am so stubborn. ;)

Have a great evening. Love to you,
C.A. MacConnell

Author Page

Forgiveness, Turn It Around.

Forgiveness, Turn It Around

There are times when we strongly feel that other folks have wronged us and perhaps, in the direct situation, we don't have a part in it, other than that we were there.

Hm, this is so wrong. The injustice! When it happens to me, I'll often think similar thoughts such as that. Or, this:  I just happened to be there. It wasn't me!

But, I was there. And if I were present, that means I was in the mess for a reason.

To learn.

That's right. It is about me, not them.

I believe that we draw situations around ourselves, and they are the teachers, if we choose to learn. 

So, let's dive in.

Forgiveness. If we are aware, and we continue to operate in the same way, then we're no longer victims; instead, we're volunteers. Think of it this way:  if I allow this person or situation to continue to affect my thinking, my day, and my emotions, I am continuously volunteering to participate in the hurt.

That's right. It's not them, it's me. Look inward.

Tough stuff, indeed.

This entire world is focused on blame. Who's right, who's wrong...who's in power, who's not in power and on and on, ad infinitum.

But as an individual, I have an immense gift. I have the power to look inward. Always. I can choose to act or react in whatever way I want, all of the time. And, how I feel is a choice.

Do I choose to let this person or persons have power over me today? Am I going to drive myself wild trying to "force" someone to act a certain way? Or, do I choose to accept the situation, accept the people as they are, forgive, focus on myself, and do what I can to better/improve my life?

It's up to me.

Me and only me.

This is what I've been learning lately, and it is damn hard sometimes to turn it around, when it feels as if injustice is involved, I know. Very hard. But it is possible. And from that possibility, I can welcome new thought and perhaps, new action...and something curious begins to rush in, and that is this:  freedom.

Freedom.

What a glorious word.

Allow yourself to be free today. And I will too. 

Aye, sometimes distraction is helpful too. Playing, screaming in my car, singing, dancing, moving, listening to a meditation, praying, and the like. With many tough situations, it not an easy event but rather, a long process.

But in the end, the best option I've found is to love. Show love to a stranger, an animal, or a friend, whoever it may be. 

Turn it around. If I can today, you can too. 

We're in this together. And my heart is strongly in it with you right now, as I write to you.

Love to you,
C.A. MacConnell

P.S. If you like this, you'll like RECOVER WILDLY. Check out my author page too. <3

P.P.S. I am doing laundry after a long day of physical work. Later, I will play some piano, and I'm so excited! Every moment I can be with my heart, like I am right now, writing to you, I am grateful. C.

Howdy. New Amazon Author Page. Well, Updates and New Photo. :)XO

 

I updated my Amazon Author Page. The new photo is up. I just added a few edits to my Bio, which will be up within a day or so. Just a few things that needed to be added...such as...there is no use of AI in any of my work. I created, wrote, designed, and edited all of my books myself. Yes. :)

Check it out.

Just writing to say hello. If you've read my four novels or my one nonfiction book, leave a review! Pass it on!

I guess I need to succumb to the business of making videos and such to talk about these amazing books. I'd rather work on my next book! Anyone want to market for me? That'd be rad. Ha. Right now, this is an entirely solo venture.

Hope you're doing well today. Love to you,

C.A. MacConnell

P.S. I'm working on getting some talks scheduled for RECOVER WILDLY:  DAILY SPIRITUAL ESSAYS FOR SURVIVORS 

Stay tuned. :)XO.

Follow Blue

 

Follow Blue

Hi there. I took this recently. Hope you like it. Have a nice evening. Just saying hello. C.A. MacConnell

P.S. Don't forget to check out my four novels, as well as my fifth book, nonfiction. You can find them all, along with descriptions, right here. Pass it on, if you've read!

P.P.S. And don't forget to leave a review.

Glove

I wrote this just now. I hope your day is turning into something. Anything. I'm glad you're here. C.A. MacConnell

Glove

Bring back a white horse.
Bring back a black kettle. 
Rest assured, I'll be waiting
by the door when you knock, 
saying, Good morning
or good night. Yesterday,
I dreamed of doves,
and I saw your face again.
You were pale, staring,
just staring -- no smile,
no wrinkle, no frown.
There. Always there.
And today, your presence
turns into a familiar glove;
how it slides on recklessly,
in a difficult fashion,
wriggling and fighting
the owner's hand itself,
finally ending in the perfect
fit. Bring back a purple hat.
Bring back a yellow stone.
Rest assured, I'll be waiting
by the door when you knock,
saying, Welcome home.

C.A. MacConnell

Author Page. Five books out NOW!

Hearing You, Every Morning

 

Hearing You

Every Morning

Good afternoon! I just took these on my walk. I don't know about you but lately, I've had some big lessons about unreasonable expectations on myself and others! And acceptance. But once I realized what the hell I was doing, I felt quite a bit of peace roll in. Strange how that works...if I face myself. After all, like I said in my fifth book, Recover Wildly, "It begins with me." Amen! <3 

Remembering to be gentle with myself and others. Remembering to circle back to this moment and celebrate how far I've come. Yes, indeed. You too!

Maybe this will help you as well. Hope so. Just sharing what I've been learning lately. Humbling and unique to me.

I'm regrouping today. It's been a long work week, for sure, and this week is going to be a scorcher. So, I'm chilling. And rewatching The Breakfast Club for the gazillionth time. I'll never get tired of those well-casted films of that era. <3 Bring that back! I'm sitting here trying to think of a recent drama or comedy film that nailed the cast like that, and I can't think of one, except for maybe Sing Sing. But it's biographical, and many of the characters played versions of themselves and so, I don't know if that counts. I adored that film. Just what came to mind off the top of my head.

It feels great to be typing to you. I intend to work on Book Six during down time and in the afternoons, as much as I can, around my deliveries. My life has certainly offered me plenty of material as of late, ha. My brain is filing it all away...which can be annoying, but it's essential to my craft.

Hope you like the photos. Just checking in and saying hello. Hope that your day rolls out peacefully.

Thank you. Love to you,
C.A. MacConnell

P.S. Don't forget to check out my four novels, as well as my fifth book, nonfiction. You can find them all, along with descriptions, right here. Pass it on, if you've read!

P.P.S. And don't forget to leave a review.

Shopping with a Master's Degree

I've had a rough couple of days. I was just texting a friend who expressed the same. We both struggle with PTSD, and the anxiety can be difficult to handle some days. It often looks for a place to "land." But it's really just free-roaming, I realize. In other words, it's there. There, present, there. I describe it as a feeling of "on alert," or "anticipation of negative outcomes" and some days, "downright panic" -- shaking, dizziness, physical pain in general, and then some.

When I'm moving and working, it's not as bad. Although today, I admit, was difficult. When I'm playing music or writing, better. Distraction is key oftentimes. When I get home from work, it grabs a hold quite often. I'm learning a lot about it, and I wrote quite a bit about it in my fifth book. Sometimes, when I think about that vulnerable writing (and this vulnerable writing) I feel rather nervous. I'll think things like, What will folks think of me? Will they think I'm strange or defective? Perhaps. I have no idea. But whether or not certain people talk about their deepest struggles, I feel that we all have trauma. XO. And why not speak of it? We can help each other. 

Certain days, I can manage it better than others.

There are definitely triggers. I see that clearly. And I know what they are. Sometimes, that helps to know.

There has been progress, and there have been setbacks. But I've noticed that growth often rolls out that way...not linear but rather, stunted at times. I'll go forward and then regress...then I'll press onward again. Right now, I'm working on getting back to the forward motion.

It rolls out quite a bit like grief...unexpected and unique to me. 

But I will say this:  when I identify it...such as, I say to myself, "This is grief" or "This is PTSD," it can be helpful. Then I allow myself the freedom to just roll with it. It's OK to not be OK. I realize that's cliche, ha, yea, but it's true.

Freedom vs. shame. Feeling vs. holding back. Roll with it instead of fighting it. That can be useful. I thought I'd share that with you. It may help you.

Let it roll, friend. It'll change. The feelings always change.

Right now, I'm chewing gum and grinning a little, writing to you. Life can be tough. We all go through so much. It can't hurt to share something from my heart this afternoon. Perhaps it'll touch a life.

And that's why we're here. We're in this together. And right now, I'm feeling less "on alert" and more loving. See, that's how it works. Thank you, God. Thank you for this gift of writing. I think I'll keep using it. 

Wink. <3

I have a master's degree, and I've written five books and most days, I shop for people. It doesn't make much sense on paper. But you know what? The movement is helping me recover on the inside. And the job gets me out around all of my friends in the stores. And customers often touch my heart. Dogs and cats too, of course. Ha.

And so, instead of being hard on myself in this moment, I choose to see it as God working in my life. Hopefully, this little essay can help you see God working in your life too.

Love to you,
C.A. MacConnell

P.S. I am always seeking work, ha, if you hear of anything. Keep me in mind. I can write like a beast. Thirty years, all genres, from screenwriting to copy, and every damn thing in between. I could be an awesome "cleaner" in Hollywood...that is, they should hire me to clean up the scripts. Some of that shit really needs work! Especially the dialogue, which is my specialty. Funny, serious, scary, I can do it.  Hire me, you fools. I'd kill it. Just saying. I minored in film...I am a master at it. Who knows, maybe someone will read this and offer me a job. Ha, can't hurt to try. Until then, I'll keep shopping with a master's degree.

P.P.S. Tell Danny to go piss in the radiator. If you get that reference, you are my hero. Also, you understand good writing.

Gloves 76, 77, 78, 79

 

Um, I saw four lost gloves today. That's a first! XO. Topping my lost glove search of many years. I suppose that's a sign of something BIG. We shall see. I'm excited.

Here are some more shots I took today:

Just Saying Hello Little Cloud

Light Mate

I am taking a few days off, and it feels strange. Slowing down. My body sure needs it. I hope you like the photos. The last one made me think about love from the heart, and the ways that we affect people, even if we don't talk to them directly. I believe in thought and prayer. I was feeling special to someone at this moment. :) You know, with all of the hustle and worldly clamor and noise, there's something to be said for silence and heart connections, in my humble opinion. 

Hope you have a nice evening. Tonight, I plan on playing all of my songs, the whole shebang, all the way through, as if I am performing to a large crowd. After all, the creation is everything...and what's inside is surely special and unique. I have a ton of fun freely playing piano and singing, and I get rather wild when I do it. It'd probably be funny to watch. To me, it feels awesome. I saw Fiona Apple live once, and she was incredible and wild as well. Incredibly talented.

Don't forget to check out my books, speaking of awesome. They are. I have spent thirty years perfecting my craft, and they're all literary, but fast-paced. Addictive, many say. Spread the word and leave a review, if you've read.

We are on our way to number one. :) We've been awfully close.

Every day, I try to grow and notice the progress. I hope you do as well. It can be mighty tough being a human being. I'm convinced that we've all been through trauma, whether we speak of it or not. So, love. Yourself and others. Be like the deer -- compassionate.

Thank you.
C.A. MacConnell

P.S. Don't forget to be gentle with yourself. And I will try too. Whoa! A huge bird just swooped by my window. :) I heard the hawks today, but I didn't see them. 
P.P.S. My author page.

Church

"There is a pleasure in the pathless woods,
There is a rapture on the lonely shore,
There is society where none intrudes,
By the deep Sea, and music in its roar:
I love not Man the less, but Nature more..."

-- Lord Byron

This quote just popped into my head...and I decided to write my own version. Here's something I just created. Hope you like it. Have a great evening. Love, C.A. 

Church

Woods, I follow you. And suddenly, I love my boots.
The lonely path is chalk-dusted by little hands, 

I am guessing. Once, children. Perhaps yesterday,
They were playing, screaming, laughing, tearing

Across the soccer field. Now, ghosts. In the lake,
A snapper turtle rises to the air, breathing cautiously,

And I look up, checking the trees for seas of black
Snakes. Above, in the clear sky, the clouds hover

Like starving sharks. Somehow, in the slow burn,
In the musical roar of this place, pleasure rests

Softly, like a mother's church whisper. Hush. Listen.
The end is coming. Scanning the ground, I take one

Shot; the cut grass forms into a face. A man, I am
Guessing. Once, living. Now, a ghost, an explosive,

Frozen rapture of green. Studying his mouth --
The oval-shape, the surprise -- I imagine his last

Moment, when he became the field. Everything
Has its purpose -- each limb, each voice, each fish,

Each shell, each blade of grass, each second,
And every waking thought. I haven't seen her

In fifteen years, but I know that right now,
Somewhere in Kentucky, Anita is feeding

Her pet tarantulas. 

C.A. MacConnell

P.S. FIVE published books by C.A. MacConnell on Amazon NOW! 

P.P.S. Need writing help? M.A. English/Creative Writing, Hollins University. Over 30 years of experience in all genres. You name it; I can do it. PHOTOS: custom, signed prints. Or prints on metal or canvas, ready to hang. Email:  right here. 

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Self June 2026

 

Hi there. Here's a shot of me yesterday evening. XO. Just saying hello. I like it, actually.

I worked my ass off today. I was a machine! It's an absolute blur. Ha. Now I think I'll work on some poetry or an essay for you. I hope you're having an amazing day. I do love The Black Keys! I've seen them a couple of times. Sexy groove.

Lately, I've been listening to a lot of rap and hip hop. But I really enjoy 90s rock, anything with awesome drums! That's why I've always loved Phil Collins and Stevie Wonder. I also like some obscure bands like Lake Trout, because they have an intense jazz influence, and they're really outside of the box. As far as female singers, I prefer powerhouses...such as Nina Simone, Erika Wennerstrom, Janis Joplin and of course, Dolores O'Riordan <3. Oh man, I love Dolores. I could go on and on about who I like. That just came to mind. I also love Jeff Buckley.

Blind Melon, Soup, is one of my favorite albums and yet, it wasn't the most popular. Such great songwriting. When I go to the barber, they always play Guns 'n Roses, Black Sabbath, Pearl Jam, Nirvana, and the like. I enjoy it every time. The barber kicks ass.

Hopefully I made you chuckle. If you'd like to talk music, I'm in. You know, I grew up working around bands from the time I was fifteen on and later, I was a music writer for many years. I played out some back in the day, but the songs I'm writing now are so different and unique. They don't even sound like the same person. I suppose I'm letting the lion out to play. :) It's fun. No one has really heard them except God. 

Just sharing something from my life. Right now, I'm both tired and very anxious. I've been struggling with supporting myself in this insane world; it's tough for a lot of folks right now. A day-to-day thing. I see it all around. Don't get me wrong...I'm grateful for what I do have, but I am stressed about that and my living situation. I hope to be gentle with myself but also, improve in these areas. My body hurts, but not as bad as some days. I just had goat cheese and spinach ravioli, something like that. It was so-so. I have been trying new stuff, and I don't think I'll revisit ravioli, but I do like potato gnocchi. I like spinach souffle, and I love Mexican mushroom quesadillas. Do you care? I dunno, I'm just rambling. 

Hope you like my picture. I took it after I sang.

Don't forget to check out my books. And....pass it on! Let's get to number one! All I need is a little push...and we'll be on our way! We've been awfully close before. <3

Thank you for taking the time to visit. Thank you.

Love to you,
C.A. MacConnell

P.S. FIVE published books by C.A. MacConnell on Amazon NOW! 

P.P.S. Need writing help? M.A. English/Creative Writing, Hollins University. Over 30 years of experience in all genres. You name it; I can do it. PHOTOS: custom, signed prints. Or prints on metal or canvas, ready to hang. Email:  right here. 

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Mr. Leaf, Freya, Fred

 
Mr. Leaf

Freya

Fred

Here are some folks I met on my walk today. Fred is 92 years old, and he's out here walking every day! Freya is a yellow Lab. I also met a 5-week-old baby. The whole gamut today. The whole cycle of life. Hope you enjoy the photos. Amazing what we go through over the course of time.

Love to you,
C.A. MacConnell

P.S. FIVE published books by C.A. MacConnell on Amazon NOW! 

P.P.S. Need writing help? M.A. English/Creative Writing, Hollins University. Over 30 years of experience in all genres. You name it; I can do it. PHOTOS: custom, signed prints. Or prints on metal or canvas, ready to hang. Email:  right here. 

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The Rush

Oh! I just finished this for you. It was a stubborn little bugger. But sometimes, the best ones are stubborn, like me, ha. Enjoy. I will be singing tonight. :) Love, C.A.

The Rush

Today, the hummingbird dives down, tunneling

inside my chest, and the world becomes a furious,
beating wing. My eyes sting -- round and dry --

too long open. Yes, at the edges -- crimson.
The bloodiest shot. Mistakes, the rush, Jennifer's
message, and the recovered items are still waiting

at the store. OK. Scratch this entire order. Cancel
the mess. Let us begin again. Inside, outside, all
around. Someone...something...a curious being...

perhaps, a phantom...is making sure everything
is resolved. There is no mistake. Only the timing
escapes us. Together, we find what's missing.

Together, we uncover the lost. We are the beautiful
accident. At my best, call me a fragile bird, call me
a dark horse. Soon, Sparkling Ice is delivered

to the dog house.

C.A. MacConnell

P.S. FIVE published books by C.A. MacConnell on Amazon NOW! 

P.P.S. Need writing help? M.A. English/Creative Writing, Hollins University. Over 30 years of experience in all genres. You name it; I can do it. PHOTOS: custom, signed prints. Or prints on metal or canvas, ready to hang. Email:  right here. 

AUTHOR PAGE

Living on a Wing.

 

I was done with my walk when I spotted this guy. :) Hope you like the shot. I was thrilled with the little gem.
C.A. MacConnell

P.S. FIVE published books by C.A. MacConnell on Amazon NOW! 

P.P.S. Need writing help? M.A. English/Creative Writing, Hollins University. Over 30 years of experience in all genres. You name it; I can do it. PHOTOS: custom, signed prints. Or prints on metal or canvas, ready to hang. Email:  right here. 

AUTHOR PAGE