Support.

Good morning! I'm excited to see the way things are growing lately. On my own, I created, wrote, edited, and designed all four of my books. I even did the cover photos/art. If you've read my books, pass it on!

This is an entirely solo effort. Thank you for being a part of my journey! 

If you are enjoying my site, please donate to support my art, as these endeavors all take time and hard work! Just click the yellow "donate" button on the right side of this page.

And, all of these things help...

1. Donate to support! Click the yellow "donate" button on the side of this page. Easy, and any amount helps me continue to write and share my art.
2. Share my Author Page
3. Join my Facebook Page -- C.A. MacConnell
4. Buy books!
5. Leave a review on Amazon. Thanks to those who left feedback! Rockin.
6. Send me a message, join my email list. Contact here.
7. Mention my site address.

Of course, every day, I'm working on expanding, and I'll get Book Five out there for you soon! My first stab at a nonfiction book, and I think you'll be surprised. It's engaging, uplifting, and unique. Can't wait for you to read it.

Thanks for reading!

Hope you have a beautiful day.
C.A. MacConnell

Tires.

 

Weirdly, this is one of my favorites. I love it. So simple. I like the small stuff the best. The strange ones, the ones that usually no one likes but me.

I know, I've been so serious on this site lately, seemingly trying to figure everything out. In the moment, when I'm writing, my introvert nature creeps out, and I begin to reflect and dig deep. I've been like this as far back as I can remember. When I was eight or so, I remember sitting in the backyard under a willow tree, wondering about God, Native Americans, the plains, true love, and the like, while the other kids were swinging. I mean, later, I'd swing too, but I'd still be thinking about mustangs, unicorns, heaven, or my place in the world.

Sometimes now, I'm able to laugh at my intensity. When I write in the moment, it seems to make sense sometimes. But later, I'll think, I have so many questions. I am like a child in this. I realize that! Last night, I wrote a note to God, asking the universe to take over on my list of ridiculousness.

Maybe my musings, my writings, will help some people. Just part of my way of working through things. I hope you find what makes you happy, whether or not it has anything to do with me or my words. Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't. But I'm hoping I can learn how to better love and be loved today. I'm hoping I can learn how to better love myself today. I'm learning how to let those people in. :) XO.

We're in this together.

Love to you,
C.A. MacConnell

Everything. Living in the Solution.

 

Living in the Solution

When I speak or write nonfiction, I tend to be transparent, like I was yesterday on this site. At times, I've probably been too open in certain environments, but that was because in the past, I had certain expectations about what the reaction might be. Now, for the most part, I don't worry about it. I just speak, write, and see what happens. I'll think, Fuck it, be me, be where I am, celebrate my place, my state of mind right here, right now.

Some stare. Others gather close. Others want to "fix" me or whatnot, which always makes me grin, because what they don't realize is that the openness itself is the main source of the solution. The reactions vary, for sure. It's interesting. But sometimes, the next day, I'll think, Now why did I bust out those feelings to the public? Wonder how that came across? Briefly, I had such thoughts a few minutes ago. But then, I came across certain social media comments. Many were thanking me. Certain people related, felt my openness was helpful, and the like.

After I speak to a group, I've noticed that certain souls will approach me excitedly, and they'll want to know me, get closer. Lately, I've been worrying a hell of a lot less about what people think, for sure. Because when I see how some -- an interesting mix -- respond, I realize that my words are powerful, and it's a gift, and I stop second-guessing my first move, which is to come from my experience, my strength, and my heart. Vulnerability makes many folks feel uncomfortable...they may see it as weakness; they may be terrified. They may want to "fix" the feelings, make them go away.

But to me, vulnerability is a sign of passionate, potent inner strength and love; it is a sign of growth and change. Vulnerability = living in the solution. Sexy too.

Love to you,

C.A. MacConnell

Photo, and Some Words.

 

A shot I just came across. Made me feel peaceful. Hope it does that for you as well. Hope your life is full and happy -- everything you wish it to be.

I'm fighting negativity/fear/physical pain. Some days, I can turn it around quickly. Other days, I'm not so successful, but I'm learning. I'm proud of my journey in the past few years, but the stress has taken a toll on my body. Aware of it, for sure, all the time...there has been and still is ongoing stress. Working 7 days a week, applying for other jobs. I like what I'm doing, and it's essential for me to find something that involves movement. But deliveries...not always consistent, and my car has mega miles, so that's scary/stressful to me all the time, and things are tight as hell.

Indeed, it's just me and God on this. Literally, one day...or sometimes one moment...at a time.

And so, I keep searching, praying, hoping, and taking action! Not sure where I'm headed from here. Right now, I just keep making deliveries, applying for other stuff, and then...creating photos, stories, and books. I have two books of nonfiction ready to go. I'm letting one sit, as I need to revise it some. The other is polished; I'm seeking an agent. Waiting, waiting, waiting. Not sure what'll pan out there. May just put it out myself, but I'll try the traditional route first.

But I do know this:  my favorite part of the day is when I get home from a meeting, rest on the couch, rest my body, and listen to a meditation. I like this particular one...I usually do the same one, but there's another I switch it with too. Other days, silent. Sometimes, I do it during the day if I get a chance as well. It's my little escape, a peaceful rest at least a half hour every day.

Checking in to let you in on some of my life.

Love to you,
C.A. MacConnell

Try.

Lately, I've been feeling a lot of fear, but I'm dealing with it differently. I'm not taking action on it right away or grabbing on to coping mechanisms. Instead, I'm waiting, leaning into it heavily, feeling it fully, and walking right through it, which is awful sometimes, but it hasn't killed me, and I'm seeing the results -- glimpses of the other side.

Sounds heavy, I know, and sometimes it is, but other times, I'm cracking up.

Life.

Reminding myself to be compassionate toward myself and others today, because one never knows what someone has going on inside. XO.

Love to you. One thing I'm good at...I will always try.
C.A. MacConnell

My Next Book Cover...

 

Excited? I am. Ha. Why do I have the feeling that both Tom Hanks and Wes Anderson would crack the fuck up at this. Hey guys, here's my cover, in case you ever come across my site. I always think we have inside jokes, even though I've never met you. Makes sense to no one but me.

No, readers, I am not delusional, just having fun. Then again, either way, who cares.

All I know is this...right now, in heaven or what not, my former professor, Richard, is laughing and cheering me on right now.

Love to you,

C.A. MacConnell

Big Cat.

 

An oldie but goodie. Hope you're well and happy. Love, C.

Plane.

 

Good morning. Just sharing one of my favorites. Love to you,
C.A. MacConnell

KHP 1.

 

This shot, well, this is what I open my computer to every day. :) A shot I took at the Kentucky Horse Park when I recently visited the land. Growing up, I spent a lot of time there, although it almost feels like another life now. I had great successes there. I had some defeats too, ha. I had laughs, tears, time with friends, time alone staring out at the fields. I had a lot of anxiety there, and I also had times of peace. I worked hard. I played hard. I experienced the whole gamut here. I also got into some trouble, for sure.

Life, memories, feelings, all wrapped up in one shot.

But when I look at it now, I focus on the peace that fills me when I stare out at horses in a field, horses grazing in the wild. In the past and now, this feeling of peace always enters into my heart when I gaze out at a field. Very calming. It has always struck me. Staring out at the sky or a large body of water makes me feel the same way.

Just sharing something from my life today.

Love to you,
C.A. MacConnell

Are You OK? Care and Concern.

Usually, on Sunday afternoons, I'm exhausted from the work week but today, I can't stop thinking about my friend Dan (name changed), who passed on a few years ago. And so, I'm writing to you.

Are You OK? Care and Concern.

See, I worked with Dan, and most people just saw him as some quiet guy who was obsessive about arranging items, stocking, and counting inventory. But in reality, he was incredibly well-read, and he had the sharpest wit. I believed him to be a genius walking around in plain sight, and most people around him were clueless. Because he was so smart, Dan sometimes rubbed people the wrong way; that is, in his mind, the world had a particular order, and if something interrupted his order, on certain days, especially early morning, he became quite disturbed. Quickly, I noticed this about him...

Soon, after I figured it out, I was able to easily interact with him in a way that worked. I'd say, "Dan, I know this is not the time to ask you, because it's morning. I understand, but right now, I need you to check in the back for some yogurt." And he would gaze at me steadily, listen, take it in, and then he'd look sideways, register the change, then move to go get the yogurt. Literally, I could physically see him trying to understand why the order of the day was different. One day, he even added, "Hey, I think, when I first met you, a long time ago, you asked me for something like this, and I'm sorry I got mad."

I changed. He changed. It was really cool, the way we interacted. It taught me so much. A special, innocent, compassionate kind of love. I miss him dearly.

But today, I was thinking about his most unique personality trait. Dan never, ever judged anyone on their exterior. In fact, he didn't notice people's appearances at all. If a girl asked him out, he simply stated, "I only like friends. I'd love to be your friend." And when he told me about the girl, he never mentioned her appearance. He didn't notice makeup, a different haircut, clothes, body types, or anything of the sort. He had absolutely no concept of the popular worldwide notion of "looking good." This idea was absolutely absent from his vocabulary. In a way, it was as if he were viewing everyone as children. There was a certain unique innocence about his whole way of being, and it captivated me.

One day, I had white barrettes in my hair. He asked, "Did you hurt yourself?" I laughed and explained that I changed my hair. He laughed too, but he didn't care at all. His only concern was whether or not I was OK. He was never concerned about how anyone looked.

This quality about him was amazing to me because growing up, I learned this:  even if you're falling apart, you have to look good and no matter what, don't talk about it and don't show your feelings. It's an idea that I've worked hard to shake, but I believe a part of it will always be with me. Dan was a powerful force in my life, and he helped me take a look at myself.

How different would the world be if people worried less about exteriors? I believe that with the younger generation, these ideas are indeed shifting for some in a very healthy way, and it's lovely to see this change in some of the folks around me. 

I've worked hard on my childhood issues but with this one -- this notion of appearance -- I'd like to see more of a change within myself, for sure. I can be incredibly harsh with myself, especially when it comes to my appearance, and it's never helpful. But every time I think of Dan, I think about what he would ask:  Are you OK? Without even trying, innately, his intentions always stemmed from care and concern. Compassion. Beautiful. What if I applied Dan's view to myself? What if I were innocent, caring, and compassionate toward myself? What if we all were...with ourselves and others?

Thank you, Dan. I'm not perfect, but I am OK today, thanks to teachers like you. I bet you're up there smiling, arranging something.

We're in this together.

Love to you,
C.A. MacConnell

Stay the Course.

Some say to "stay in the moment." Aye, but I carry all of my experiences with me wherever I go. To act and react as this person, without altering my course, is easy. Nearly robotic, in fact.

But it is possible to make a decision that's new, one that may feel utterly uncomfortable. Changing life-learned patterns -- this takes great strength and patience.

Because it's new. Right or wrong, it's new, and it chips away at the old pattern and slowly, I can change my entire way of being. And I've been practicing these changes for the past few years. And I feel very uncomfortable some days, some hours, some weeks. Other days, I feel ultimately free.

But I believe in this new version of myself that hasn't even fully arrived yet. I believe because when I get quiet, I keep having the same feeling -- stay the course.

Good morning. Hello. Love to you.
C.A. MacConnell

Pass It On.

 

Good morning! Thank you so much...for spreading the word! I'm excited to see the way things are growing lately.

Truly, "word of mouth" is my friend. On my own, I created, wrote, edited, and designed all four of my books. I even did the cover photos/art. If you've read my books, pass it on!

This is an entirely solo effort.

So, all of these things help...

1. Mention this site address
2. Share my Author Page
3. Join my Facebook Page -- C.A. MacConnell
4. Buy books!
5. Leave a review on Amazon. Thanks to those who left feedback! Rockin.
6. Send me a message, join my email list. Contact here.
7. Donate to support! See "donate" button on the side of this page.

Of course, every day, I'm working on expanding, and I'll get Book Five out there for you soon! My first stab at a nonfiction book, and I think you'll be surprised. It's engaging, uplifting, and unique. Can't wait for you to read it.

Thanks for your support.

Hope you have a beautiful day.
C.A. MacConnell

All Together.

Good morning.

What's wrong with my life?

How do I feel?

What should I change?

Better get on that, holy shit.

You seem to have it all together.

A lot of people seem to have it all together.

One-on-one, no one has ever told me they have it all together.

Maybe I'm OK just how I am.

Maybe you're OK just how you are.

Hey, I love butterflies.

C.A. MacConnell

Me, April 24.

 

Hi there. Pretty much what I look like when I'm working. So, this is pretty much how I look, because I'm always working! Seven days a week, I do deliveries and when I'm not doing that, I'm sleeping, walking and planning stories, taking pictures, or writing. This is my favorite hat, because I have a huge head, and it actually fits! I'd like about ten of the same hats, different colors, but I have yet to find another that's as comfy.

I do love Blind Melon, but not as much as some other bands; however, I particularly like the "Soup" album, which is definitely genius. Most people only know the first, self-titled one, but "Soup" is ridiculously awesome. An absolute gem. They've had a new singer for a long time, and he's kind, friendly, and talented as well.

There are a ton of talented people out there. Just depends on who gets promoted. I did music writing for eight years. Mostly local, but some national too. I met so many artists, and many of them were ultra-talented, hiding right out in the open, so to speak. A few names pop right up in my mind, the ones who "stood out." I'll keep it to myself but for sure, some are secret superstars just writing tunes, hanging out, having breakfast in their kitchens, later writing amazing tunes that may or may not get little to no circulation.

I am honored to know many of them.

Have a good day. Love to you,
C.A. MacConnell

P.S. Shout out to Chanell, Nay, and the women of Madisonville, who are kind, strong, and supportive. Shout out to Shawntell, who makes me smile every day. <3 

Photo. And some words about THE HOLE.

 

Took this photo with a friend in mind. He worked with me. Daily, we cut it up in the milk cooler. In case you didn't know, other than the freezers and bathrooms, the milk cooler is the only place in supermarkets where there aren't cameras. If no one found us, we couldn't get in trouble for wasting company time. So, we'd hide out there. Eventually, someone would call our names over the store speaker system, but we usually got away with it for a while. Literally, just as in car dealerships, in groceries, nearly everywhere you go, there's a camera. At most dealerships, the only place there's not a camera is the bathroom. And at some dealerships I've worked in, there's someone monitoring the cameras 24/7 at their home. No lie. Ultra creepy. More cameras than a jewelry store. Eyes everywhere.

Honestly, we both worked our asses off most of the time anyway, so it didn't really matter. These interactions eventually inspired me to write THE HOLE. He got a kick out of the whole idea, and he gave me a lot of info about dairy, stocking, and such. The real interactions were hilarious most days, and he was a sweet, sharply smart, kind friend. I miss him; he left this world a few years ago.

But the book turned into something different altogether -- an intense psychological thriller; you'll see some of his dark humor and sharp wit creep out from time to time, but that's pretty much it, because it took a wild turn from there. That's the way it usually works with my writing. I'll get inspired, but the rest comes out of the ether, a.k.a. my ridiculous brain. I love creating dialogue and slipping in humor when people would least expect it. I also love when horror films use this tactic.

If you haven't read THE HOLE, you're missing out. It's a page-turner, and I did an immense amount of research to develop my characters, especially Zion Makeda, who was my favorite to write. Actually, his character is far from my personal experience, although you'll see a bit of me creep in there, as he deals with some intense anxiety issues, and I do as well. For good reason...both of us have had heavy outside stress going on. I fell in love with all of these characters while I was writing. Sometimes I do. 

Here's my Amazon Author Page, for all the info.

Most people experience anxiety, in varying degrees, I've noticed. Although, I have a neighbor that seems to float around even keel. I asked her about it, and she said that she's always been that way, just floating around, ha.

Hope you get a chance to read THE HOLE. Not only is it a fast-paced psych thriller, it's also deep as hell and sometimes funny. Check it out.

Well, I'm gonna work for a short while. ;) <3. Glad you're here.

Love to you.
C.A. MacConnell

Me and You.

 

C.A. MacConnell

For this site only. :) <3 to you, C.A.

Sweetness.

 

C.A. MacConnell

<3

Dancing.

 

C.A. MacConnell

Avoca Trail

 

C.A. MacConnell

Air 3. And Some Words.

Yesterday, I photobombed a promotional picture they're going to use for a certain ultra-popular supermarket chain -- the most popular, a mammoth influence in all things edible -- which means, by default, you just might soon be seeing my face all over the country. I can't say that I was dressed for a formal engagement; I was wearing a black hat with lips painted on the bill, a certain choice, V-shaped septum ring that was hanging sideways, my Jaws jacket, generic track pants, black and white, 9.5 wide, Saucony Echelons (yes, I have ridiculously huge feet for my size, which I guess means that I'm packing a big dick as well. And so far, along with special-made insoles, these are the only shoes that work to keep my consistently sore feet a little less consistently sore and so, I'm promoting you, Saucony), and I had my tongue hanging out, so much so that you could see my gum.

Just so you know that indeed, it's the real me and not an impostor.

Also, I had my first audience for my original piano tunes. I sneaked into a church to play piano, and a dude that worked there wandered in. Hi Steve. Steve was having a bad day. So, I played him some songs, sang to him, and he said he felt a lot better, which was cool! But it seems that Steve recorded a little on his phone. So, I'm assuming my song's gonna go viral.

Just wanted to give you a fair warning if you were trying to avoid me because soon, it's going to be impossible to go anywhere without seeing my face.

Love to you, 👀😅💖
C.A. MacConnell

P.S. Shout out to those who are kind to me while I'm doing deliveries. Shout out to the officer who let me go w/ a mere warning. Means a lot.

P.P.S. While I'm trying to get an agent and such with Book Five (wish me luck, nonfiction), I'm going to go ahead and dive into working on a new fiction book. I've got a plan in my head already, and it's annoying. The books always start out this way. I start writing in my mind and pretty soon, I have to start actually writing, b/c there's too much info in my brain, ha. Anyway, I have a plot in mind already. Very annoying. C.A.

Breaking the Rules.

Good morning! Love to you. Don't forget to buy my awesome books on Amazon. Go here. Yes! Or, for more info, just click on the books on the right side of this page!

They're page-turners. All of them are intense, mysterious, deep, and even hilarious at times. Many years of hard work, research, and creative energy went into each one, and the dialogue is absolutely rich and real. You'll be surprised at the way I capture a voice. Literally, when I write, I BECOME each character, which can be frightening at times. 

And please leave a review! Many thanks to those who are supporting my art! You are making it possible for me to continue pursuing my dream, which is to continue punching out books and see my books turn into films. :) Yes!

I'll turn this into a short story at some point, but here's a funny little scene for you...

Yesterday, I saw an 86-year-old woman slowly rising up off of one of those electric, seated shopping carts to reach for some mushrooms. How do I know her exact age? You'll see...

Me:  Hi there, you need some help reaching those mushrooms?
Her (smiling wildly):  Hi there! Aw, no, I just don't want the organic ones. I want the regular. I can get 'em. (standing tall) I got it.
Me: Alright, you got it.
Her (whispering):  Oh yeah, I do. Hey, come here.
Me (leaning in)
Her (whispering, grabbing the shrooms, sitting back down):  Hey, you know what I do? I get the regular mushrooms and peel off the outsides. Then they're organic, haha!
Me (laughing):  You're a rebel!
Her (laughing): Oh, you gotta be! I'm 86. I'm breaking all the rules, and I'm not messing around.
Me:  No doubt. 
Her (holding up her mushrooms, driving her cart away one-handed, speedily)
Me (laughing hard, giving her a thumbs-up)

People might look at me or hear me talk and assume certain things. Oftentimes, I'm a quiet observer in a crowd -- that girl in the back who seems invisible. But what they don't know is this:  I'm 49. I'm breaking all the rules, and I'm not messing around.

C.A. MacConnell

Worm.

 

C.A. MacConnell

The Country Club

A little hint into my tricky brain:  word choice and line breaks punch out the feel here. A powerful little sucker. I'm at my best when I'm distant from subjects and can write from a POV of "observation."

The Country Club

Their world rages pink,
like a chapped lip,
like a strange,
split sunset
on the mouth
of a private plane.
Some smoke cigars
in the basement.
Leather lazy boys.
Nothing but time
and sheep.
Today’s party
is in the main room,
down the hall,
the side table beneath
the exclusive painting.
A golf course view
of buttons and zippers.
Windbreakers.
For the children,
somewhere near
the all-you-can-eat
buffet, they'll bring in
five or twenty
live bunnies.

C.A. MacConnell

Witch

 

C.A. MacConnell

Photo.

 

Hey, good morning. Just a photo from the past that I came across, and I rather liked it. An old heart-close friend.

Working on getting book five out there for you. It's finished, but I'm going the traditional route, querying agents and such, and that takes patience and hard work as well, but I've done it all before and so, I'm accustomed to the wild ride. Indeed, it is a wild ride. Actually, I wrote an entirely new book, replacing the old book five. It's nonfiction as well. I've had quite a bit of interest; we shall see what rolls out next. As of now, I'm still in the process.

Grateful to be generating more followers in person, on here, and on my FB page. If you haven't been there yet, come on over! "C.A. MacConnell" is my FB author page. Not hard to find. Would love to have you join me on my artistic journey.

Please check out my four novels on Amazon. Or you can simply click on the book covers on the right side of this page. Presto, it'll lead you to descriptions of each one. All are available to purchase -- paperback or Kindle. Paperback is better. :) If you've read them, please leave a review. Thanks to those who already have!

Life has been a cantankerous opponent; however, I'm fiercely developing a new strength that I didn't know I even had. Also, I'm learning to turn inward and trust my higher power even more. Like a child, sometimes I balk at the change but then, I settle into the new version of myself. Back and forth, it seems. Large change and growth seem to roll out messily at times, but I've got a parachute.

Hope to see you when I'm out and about. Praying that you have all the things that I want. Praying for your peace and happiness. Because we're in this together, and everything is circular. And deep in my heart, I feel that God is getting me ready for something.

Seems to me that we're all trooping around, letting go of old shit, learning how to play again, uncovering that which we had when we were born, trying to get back to the beginning, when there were no outside influences. At our first cry, we all naturally understood the source of peace and love.

Remember to laugh today. Know that I'm steadily pulling for you, and for me.

Love to you,
C.A. MacConnell

P.S. 😂💪🙏💓💃💃

Husky.

 

C.A. MacConnell

Ice Cream.

 C.A. MacConnell

4-8 Sky Shots

 

I just thought the sky was beautiful today.

C.A. MacConnell

Steve.

 

Author Steven Paul Lansky.

C.A. MacConnell

Blue

 

Good morning. Love to you.
C.A. MacConnell

Hooks

 

C.A. MacConnell

From the Mosquito

Hope you have a beautiful day. :) A poem from the POV of the mosquito...The sentences should read quickly but ironically, with the rhythm and line breaks, it forces a slow read...something I did on purpose. Desktop shows proper line breaks. Ha, if anyone cares but me. Just a little trick I learned, a hint into my craft. Love to you, C.A. 

From the Mosquito

I guess I'm here now, which was quick. The water is cold this time
of year. I'm the only one
skimming the surface. Indeed, I could hide inside
the tree's hollow. Earlier,

I was spent from trying. How high
does a damn bridge have to be.

I could give up and throw up makeup,
the sweet taste of old caffeine, smoky cigar skin,
and all of the horrible sweat -- exercisers and sleepers --
and enjoy the dirty, wind ride
home. Or I could rest within

a deserted wrinkle. Yesterday, earth-hidden, a fresh, male one
pitched a green/tan tent
on the bike trail. Suddenly, he was mine. I slipped through
the underside hole, digging
into his thigh, leaving him
shrieking. At the back, I spied a black,
smiley face
spraypainted on his cooler.
I guess he was grinning too. Illegal free rent,
and even though
the pesky chill covered that morning,

I then heard a rustle. The delicious buck spied on me,
and I thought about the tricky dive,
aiming for tail end,
but the hell tick
blocked me mid-back-hair,
and with sunrise, the branches -- our shared, lawless branches --
burned orange with light,
and our whole scene
turned into fire. Funny,

later, safer, I flew to the office. Caddy corner, the boss man
called the woman a twig.
Aside, I rolled my eyes,
all one hundred lenses. I'd visited her before. She's lived through
an above-average, human
war zone. Ninety-eight percent of people like her have turned into heat, no more
than the vapor zone.
Even still, five days a week, forty hours, she stayed.
Resting on the desk, checking
my reflection in her ring,
I had all the time in the world.
When she was typing, I recalled the time

when I stabbed through
her open-toed shoes, expertly
finding the vein. Back then, people left rear windows
cracked. Hands were easy targets, and car phones made men mad,
buzzing without reception.
Even then, I planned on becoming
famous, with or without
tasting roadkill, mascara, perfume,
or lotion. I always knew that wasn't the answer,
but I heard the swarm. The others believed that once
we were known, we could live

forever. But the answer is this:
we mosquitos bite for the blood type.
Time to find another, before they team together, like people do.

What if tomorrow, the white room,
the paper, the printer, and the grey
walls vanished. The girl could pack her blue car
and drive several directions,

because once, I heard her whisper
that all she ever wanted to do
was shoot pictures of the happy
cooler, unzipping the tent's nylon to find his peculiar eyes --
whether caked, lined, or untouched --
suddenly staring back. Soon, he would reach out his right hand,
smack and miss, scratching the itch,
feeling the trace
of what I always left behind -- the tiny speck of blood
staining his pointer finger
red. He could taste it, or he could touch her cheek,

making a print. And only then, according to god's unwritten rules,
I'd be forbidden from the return,
but I'd never be forgotten.
I'd simply leave them
together

and tear away
laughing.

C.A. MacConnell

Freedom.

 

Whoa, I love this. Took it just a few minutes ago. :) <3

C.A. MacConnell

Lost Glove 59.

 

<3

C.A. MacConnell

Abby.

 

At first glance, I realize that this doesn't seem like the greatest photo, in terms of study, lighting, and the like. Just a moment in time caught on film. But at second glance, I simply like the feel of it, and I like the feel of her eye. Gives out a vibe that I love and so, fuck the rules.

Right away, I knew that this bay mare, Abby, would be gentle and sweet. I was always on guard around chestnut mares; they were usually the most difficult ones to work with, but not always, and I could always immediately gauge the personality by looking at the eye. Abby had a quiet eye, as you can see here. I only worked around a few stallions. Most barns I worked in had all geldings and a few mares. There's a reason for that! Ha. If you look closely, you can see/feel the anger or fire in a horse eye. Gives you that gut feeling -- the same way that it works with dogs, cats, people, etc.

It's like this:  there are all kinds of complicated coffee makers out there now, and I've worked in a ton of coffee shops over the years. I've even worked in some exclusive shops in Seattle, and let me tell you, they were and are serious about coffee out there. Ha. I can make ridiculously complex drinks. I even know how to roast beans. And yet, at home, I have used the same $10 Mr. Coffee maker for about 15 years...and it still works just fine. Drinking a cup of Seattle's Best right now.*

Lately, I'm reminded to honor the lessons I've learned. Study the eye. Use what works. Go with my gut. Don't second guess. At first glance, one catches a glimpse of the soul, so to speak. As one of my spiritual advisers always says, Trust yourself.

Hope you have a good day. Gentle, sweet.

Love to you,
C.A. MacConnell

*Sidenote:  did you know that Seattle's Best and Starbucks originally both started in Seattle, and they had dueling shops right across from each other in the Pike Place Market? Actually, I've been to the original locations. Every day, these two companies battled for customers. Everyone took sides. Later, Starbucks bought out Seattle's Best, but Starbucks still sells the Seattle's Best coffee in stores, and no one knows that it's them selling the stuff. But there are no more Seattle's Best locations, obviously. I still drink Seattle's Best, but ironically, although I'm a diehard Seattle's Best supporter, since I buy the stuff and Starbucks owns it now, I'm now supporting Starbucks. Everything's complicated. <3