I'll tell you what I was thinking about when I took this shot yesterday. Why not. When any person goes through a great deal of trauma and recovers from it through years of hard work, it is wonderful. And I have. Many others have too. And yet, there is something else to realize and muddle through, and it's huge.
You see, after the recovery, even 10 or 20 years later, it's easy to slip into the obsession of "How am I feeling?" or "Am I OK?" I like to call it "constant self-checking." And here's the trick: this obsession, in itself, can actually make a person feel horribly anxious or "not OK," when in fact, the person is just fine...doing all of the right things, doing well, progressing, etc. I have some wonderful people in my life -- both professionals and spiritual advisers -- who have helped me to see this reality, and I am incredibly grateful. I suppose it's a natural reaction to present stress or life change; my body kicks in, and it's trying to protect me from the past. And so, the worry will snowball from time to time, but I'm also aware of it, so it's "not as much fun," ha, shall we say, to tunnel into the worry.
You see, after the recovery, even 10 or 20 years later, it's easy to slip into the obsession of "How am I feeling?" or "Am I OK?" I like to call it "constant self-checking." And here's the trick: this obsession, in itself, can actually make a person feel horribly anxious or "not OK," when in fact, the person is just fine...doing all of the right things, doing well, progressing, etc. I have some wonderful people in my life -- both professionals and spiritual advisers -- who have helped me to see this reality, and I am incredibly grateful. I suppose it's a natural reaction to present stress or life change; my body kicks in, and it's trying to protect me from the past. And so, the worry will snowball from time to time, but I'm also aware of it, so it's "not as much fun," ha, shall we say, to tunnel into the worry.
Perhaps my transparency about it will help someone; I've noticed this trend in others as well. And perhaps someone out there needs to hear this: ease up on the "self-checking" today. Good morning. You are just fine. You are safe. You are loved. You don't need outside reassurance. You already know what to do. Simply, you are beautiful just the way you are in this moment.
Love to you,
C.A. MacConnell
P.S. 💪🙏💓
