The Courage Rests Inside
Let's see. Now I have 55 pictures of lost gloves, and I know Tom Hanks would be amused, because I once discovered that he enjoys such photos. No, I've never met Mr. Hanks, and I can't remember how or why I came upon his lost glove photos, but I clearly remember the moment. Literally, I was cracking up because until then, I had never found anyone who was obsessed with that particular notion and so, I suddenly felt supported and validated. I suppose that some people may assume that 55 pictures of lost gloves might be a bit obsessive, and guess what? They would be absolutely correct! What can I say, when I'm on a mission, I'm on a mission. I get an idea in my head, and I focus! These gloves often spark me into reminiscing of the great R.H.W. Dillard's chicken theory, Shakespeare, and Hitchcock...I would love to have coffee with these three to discuss lost gloves, but I'm afraid that such a meeting would prove to be quite extensive, one evolving into a gathering of the minds, one that could quite possibly have no end. Indeed.
The great R.H.W. Dillard was my professor. In my opinion, he was a closet genius. I took many of his workshop creative writing classes. He also taught me Hitchcock, Fellini, and several other fiction-focused classes. I signed up for every class he taught, anything I could grab, and I "drank" in his words every time. Richard was familiar with this phenomenon of strange "focus;" he wrote about it quite a bit, and I won't even attempt to capture his insights, but I will tell you about his personality...
I never spent much time with him outside of classes or small group thesis meetings, but I secretly observed his nature for years. On the outside, Richard was a hilarious, mischievous, rather jovial fellow and interestingly enough, unlike most stereotypical, tortured writers and poets, he was also quite healthy and grounded. Simply, he ate well, drank water, didn't drink alcohol or do drugs, smiled often, and he seemed rather content most of the time. And yet, when he wrote, he made deep, unfathomable connections. When he spoke, he jokingly delivered unbelievable truths and theories. In other words, although his words and interpretations were shockingly eye-opening, he seemed to have no attachment to his wisdom. His mind was amazingly vast, and he wrote and spoke about connections and symbolism like no other.
Through his actions, he taught me the importance of how great teachers interact with students, and this left quite an imprint within me. When discussing anyone's writing, he focused on the positive, and he brought it to light...he made sure to allow a person's individuality to develop, and he never tried to change a writer's style into what he thought would be "right or acceptable." Instead, he encouraged spontaneity, diversity, and free thought. He looked at a student's writing, saw the good, saw the unique pattern, and he offered suggestions to encourage the person's individual style and path. And I found it to be an amazing lesson in selfless teaching. This past year, he passed away, and he continued teaching right up until this time; he never retired but rather, he rolled along, happily and humbly sharing his genius thoughts with the world. Love you, Richard. R.I.P.
His passing has made me reflect on my focus, my journey, and my writing. Here's something I wrote on social media this morning...Good morning. Positive thought for me, for you: it may feel messy at times, but if I push through, it's magnificent, the way I grow, and I don't have to prove anything to anyone to show that I'm 'better,' because the courage rests inside.
Going forward with my writing, I'm keeping this in mind because like Richard, I don't have to prove anything. Instead, I know that the story, my experience, speaks for itself. I've never had writer's block. I always have stories and poems going on, and I'm always creating drafts, even if I'm not putting them out to the public, but I do take breaks in order to allow certain works to "marinate." And that is why I've let Book Five sit for a time, because I've needed patience, distance, refection, time, and a new perspective in order to see the pattern, to bring out the individual style and path. I've needed this time to regroup and understand how to revise it.
And soon, I'll return to the process, allowing the new perspective to shine. And this break, these reflections, and these thoughts have brought me to a better place, one of direct strength and wisdom, one of freedom and humble delivery.
When I sit down to make changes, it won't take much time to revise it, as I have a clear plan in mind. There is a lot to take out, and there is a lot to add, because I'm now seeing what's most important. And so, Book Five is still in the works. And if you are here reading my thoughts and words, I thank you for your support.
Hope you have a beautiful day. Perhaps I'll see you out and about. Love to you,
C.A. MacConnell
Going forward with my writing, I'm keeping this in mind because like Richard, I don't have to prove anything. Instead, I know that the story, my experience, speaks for itself. I've never had writer's block. I always have stories and poems going on, and I'm always creating drafts, even if I'm not putting them out to the public, but I do take breaks in order to allow certain works to "marinate." And that is why I've let Book Five sit for a time, because I've needed patience, distance, refection, time, and a new perspective in order to see the pattern, to bring out the individual style and path. I've needed this time to regroup and understand how to revise it.
And soon, I'll return to the process, allowing the new perspective to shine. And this break, these reflections, and these thoughts have brought me to a better place, one of direct strength and wisdom, one of freedom and humble delivery.
When I sit down to make changes, it won't take much time to revise it, as I have a clear plan in mind. There is a lot to take out, and there is a lot to add, because I'm now seeing what's most important. And so, Book Five is still in the works. And if you are here reading my thoughts and words, I thank you for your support.
Hope you have a beautiful day. Perhaps I'll see you out and about. Love to you,
C.A. MacConnell
