C.A. MacConnell
4/21/2023
4/20/2023
4/19/2023
4/18/2023
See You Soon.
I actually took this one a while back. At the moment, this field is no more. Instead, there's an enormous hole...they're building back there now. I was sad to see it go, b/c I loved wandering around in it. I'm sure the snakes were bummed too.
C.A. MacConnell
Superman
Honestly, this is one of my favorites I've ever taken, just for the simplicity and feel, as well as the mystery, and I've begun to imagine the story behind it.
C.A. MacConnell
4/15/2023
Dinner
I remember the teeth.
Surrounding me,
wolves spat,
crashing side-to-side,
lost in riot,
colliding like highway,
pile-up accidents.
Some bodies upturned,
jaws bleeding smoke,
no more than a thrashing pack
of useless, spinning paws.
How they howled,
hoping to make me
into a meal.
But I stretched up tall,
to the tip toe,
raising my arms
as high as small,
dream arms could rise,
reaching out my strange,
new fingers,
hunting for light, color,
more, more, more,
and then, all at once,
joined by my fresh-faced
assistant – fire –
I cracked my curious knuckles,
suddenly jerking alive
like a distorted, flat comic
rising up from the page,
a newly breathing cartoon,
and my vine-like nails
became claws, shooting out
long and lipped
like playground slides.
Gut to throat, I barked back.
Although the animal sound
was far from perfect,
I watched the hungry others
slowly shrink, tearing away,
tails tucked between the legs.
Together, we settled
on dinner, soon swallowing
a pile of doves.
C.A. MacConnell
Surrounding me,
wolves spat,
crashing side-to-side,
lost in riot,
colliding like highway,
pile-up accidents.
Some bodies upturned,
jaws bleeding smoke,
no more than a thrashing pack
of useless, spinning paws.
How they howled,
hoping to make me
into a meal.
But I stretched up tall,
to the tip toe,
raising my arms
as high as small,
dream arms could rise,
reaching out my strange,
new fingers,
hunting for light, color,
more, more, more,
and then, all at once,
joined by my fresh-faced
assistant – fire –
I cracked my curious knuckles,
suddenly jerking alive
like a distorted, flat comic
rising up from the page,
a newly breathing cartoon,
and my vine-like nails
became claws, shooting out
long and lipped
like playground slides.
Gut to throat, I barked back.
Although the animal sound
was far from perfect,
I watched the hungry others
slowly shrink, tearing away,
tails tucked between the legs.
Together, we settled
on dinner, soon swallowing
a pile of doves.
C.A. MacConnell
4/14/2023
Photos.
Just some little photos I took this a.m. on my walk. :) I tend to ultimately see things more in b/w I've noticed, even if I take them in color. Interesting. Happy Friday!
C.A. MacConnell
Violet.
Good morning. Love to you. Hope you have a peaceful day! One day at a time, as they say. Or one moment at a time, if need be. :) <3
C.A. MacConnell
4/12/2023
4/11/2023
I'm Here. I've Got Your Back.
I wrote this a short time ago, but it felt right to post it today. I'm going to start working on a collection of essays for you...I think people like to read these little stories, hopes, and musings. Hope you have a great day. Love, C.A. MacConnell <3
I'm Here. I've Got Your Back.
Yesterday, I was in the woods, about three and a half miles into a walk, when suddenly, I felt a great rush of air, and something soft brushed against my cheek. Startled, I stopped and looked left. Right there, on a log in front of me, a red-tailed hawk landed and turned to the side, looking back at me, seemingly grinning, as much as a hawk can grin. And I realized that what I had felt against my cheek were the hawk's wing feathers.
I studied him. He appeared to be an adult male, although I'm still a beginner when it comes to hawk sightings. Stunned, I looked at him and whispered, "Baby!" He wasn't a baby, but that's just what came out of my mouth, as if I were using it as an endearing term by a lover.
Still not moving, he looked back. Shadowed by the trees, he appeared absolutely beautiful and wise.
I moved a little closer. My heart fluttered, and then it felt warm, as if it filled up with something -- some kind of liquid gold, if you will, or, as I later thought -- absolute love. Literally, it felt as if the Spirit of the Universe were directly speaking to me, saying, "I'm here, I've got your back."
Frozen in place, seemingly unafraid, from the side, the hawk looked back at me through one big, clear, open eye.
Thank you, I thought, bringing my hands together, pressing my fingers close in prayer.
And for a brief second, he continued to look at me through that unblinking eye, making sure I was all right. And then he flew away.
For a few moments, I stood on the path, completely mesmerized. My next thought was, No one is going to believe me. Then, smiling, I thought, Who cares, I saw what I saw, I felt what I felt, and I believe it, and it is magnificent. I have never heard of a hawk coming that close to a person, and there was really no reason for him to swoop down like that -- he wasn't after any prey or anything. No mission at all, other than to say hello to me. Simply, he flew across the path for fun. Unbelievably, his feathers brushed against my cheek, and then he sat on the log. It was for me, and only me. Truly, I was blown away.
About a year ago, there was another time when I was walking and a hawk flew right over my head; that one was nearly close enough to touch me, and I could feel the breeze of the flight, but I've never, ever had one actually touch me before, and I've never heard of it happening to anyone else.
Writing to you this morning, I'm still amazed by the experience. Chills. Some people see burning bushes, I guess. I had a hawk touch my cheek. Amazing.
Someone, something, a greatness, is there. Every now and then, if I open my eyes, I can see the universe reveal this divinity, literally touching my skin.
I used to feel an affinity with wolves. In the past few years, it's changed to hawks. Somehow, I've become more aware of these creatures, and now I feel that a Great Spirit is reaching out to me, letting me know this: You are all right, just how you are, right here, right now, and I accept you and love you. Just checking in. I'm here. I've got your back. This is my version of God today; it changes with me, becoming new to me, and in turn, new to you.
C.A. MacConnell
I'm Here. I've Got Your Back.
Yesterday, I was in the woods, about three and a half miles into a walk, when suddenly, I felt a great rush of air, and something soft brushed against my cheek. Startled, I stopped and looked left. Right there, on a log in front of me, a red-tailed hawk landed and turned to the side, looking back at me, seemingly grinning, as much as a hawk can grin. And I realized that what I had felt against my cheek were the hawk's wing feathers.
I studied him. He appeared to be an adult male, although I'm still a beginner when it comes to hawk sightings. Stunned, I looked at him and whispered, "Baby!" He wasn't a baby, but that's just what came out of my mouth, as if I were using it as an endearing term by a lover.
Still not moving, he looked back. Shadowed by the trees, he appeared absolutely beautiful and wise.
I moved a little closer. My heart fluttered, and then it felt warm, as if it filled up with something -- some kind of liquid gold, if you will, or, as I later thought -- absolute love. Literally, it felt as if the Spirit of the Universe were directly speaking to me, saying, "I'm here, I've got your back."
Frozen in place, seemingly unafraid, from the side, the hawk looked back at me through one big, clear, open eye.
Thank you, I thought, bringing my hands together, pressing my fingers close in prayer.
And for a brief second, he continued to look at me through that unblinking eye, making sure I was all right. And then he flew away.
For a few moments, I stood on the path, completely mesmerized. My next thought was, No one is going to believe me. Then, smiling, I thought, Who cares, I saw what I saw, I felt what I felt, and I believe it, and it is magnificent. I have never heard of a hawk coming that close to a person, and there was really no reason for him to swoop down like that -- he wasn't after any prey or anything. No mission at all, other than to say hello to me. Simply, he flew across the path for fun. Unbelievably, his feathers brushed against my cheek, and then he sat on the log. It was for me, and only me. Truly, I was blown away.
About a year ago, there was another time when I was walking and a hawk flew right over my head; that one was nearly close enough to touch me, and I could feel the breeze of the flight, but I've never, ever had one actually touch me before, and I've never heard of it happening to anyone else.
Writing to you this morning, I'm still amazed by the experience. Chills. Some people see burning bushes, I guess. I had a hawk touch my cheek. Amazing.
Someone, something, a greatness, is there. Every now and then, if I open my eyes, I can see the universe reveal this divinity, literally touching my skin.
I used to feel an affinity with wolves. In the past few years, it's changed to hawks. Somehow, I've become more aware of these creatures, and now I feel that a Great Spirit is reaching out to me, letting me know this: You are all right, just how you are, right here, right now, and I accept you and love you. Just checking in. I'm here. I've got your back. This is my version of God today; it changes with me, becoming new to me, and in turn, new to you.
C.A. MacConnell
4/10/2023
4/09/2023
?
Heya. Happy Sunday. There are so many things I don't understand, and I am so confused most of the time, but my heart only wants to be with you, the art life. :) I don't know what to do sometimes, but I keep on keeping on, leading this double life. Aye, I suppose God will show me. Lately, I've just been looking inward. <3
C.A. MacConnell
4/08/2023
Limousine Girl 1989
Sweat-drenched, once again,
her body became
the rain to the bed,
her sudden nightly windshield.
Engine starting,
she stretched to rise,
holding her racing head,
shifting into
her fake-tan,
fake-nail,
fake-face role
with vehicles, run sheets, and chauffeurs,
and she was never anything more
than a stuck car door,
and she was never anything more
than a stay-at-home groupie.
Fifteen, going on twenty-seven,
she arranged rides
for businessmen and stars,
making sure the drivers
remembered the ice,
watching her pager
vibrate and flash,
later collecting backstage cash,
shaking hands with managers,
when they had no idea
that Mom was her ride that day,
when she nodded, frowned,
and made a note of it
when the man in shades,
the big-toothed contact,
mentioned that one car
didn't have the right juice.
C.A. MacConnell
her body became
the rain to the bed,
her sudden nightly windshield.
Engine starting,
she stretched to rise,
holding her racing head,
shifting into
her fake-tan,
fake-nail,
fake-face role
with vehicles, run sheets, and chauffeurs,
and she was never anything more
than a stuck car door,
and she was never anything more
than a stay-at-home groupie.
Fifteen, going on twenty-seven,
she arranged rides
for businessmen and stars,
making sure the drivers
remembered the ice,
watching her pager
vibrate and flash,
later collecting backstage cash,
shaking hands with managers,
when they had no idea
that Mom was her ride that day,
when she nodded, frowned,
and made a note of it
when the man in shades,
the big-toothed contact,
mentioned that one car
didn't have the right juice.
C.A. MacConnell
4/05/2023
Jeans, a poem, upon hearing of RHW Dillard's passing.
Had to post a poem today. In honor of RHW Dillard's teaching...he walked me through fiction, poetry, numerous advanced creative writing workshops, Hitchcock, 18th Century British Novels, Fellini, and so much more, undergraduate and graduate. :) He cracked up and gave me an "A" when I wrote a ten page paper that was an entire joke about the movie, 'Marnie'. He was hilarious, brilliant, and kind. He was the one who invented the chicken theory, and if you know you know. Much love to your family and friends...and your Hollins family. You, a true genius, touched so many hearts and minds. :) <3
Jeans
Maybe you live
here.
Hands in pockets,
I see the twisty
driveway.
I see the castle,
someone else's shack.
No matter.
One dog, two cats.
A slate roof.
The attic room,
a cone.
The fence,
belt-looping
dandelions.
The shutters,
fitting the frame
like thin,
broken jeans
hugging skin.
Maybe you live
here.
I'll be wearing
faded black.
I ache for the casual
silence.
Maybe you live here.
Maybe I'll be
back.
C.A. MacConnell
Jeans
Maybe you live
here.
Hands in pockets,
I see the twisty
driveway.
I see the castle,
someone else's shack.
No matter.
One dog, two cats.
A slate roof.
The attic room,
a cone.
The fence,
belt-looping
dandelions.
The shutters,
fitting the frame
like thin,
broken jeans
hugging skin.
Maybe you live
here.
I'll be wearing
faded black.
I ache for the casual
silence.
Maybe you live here.
Maybe I'll be
back.
C.A. MacConnell
Wolf.
Wolf, b/w, film, Nikon
Good morning. I've always loved this photo. A wolf. Actually, I took it at the zoo some time ago, and I'm not a fan of zoos, but I'm a fan of this wolf.
I'm growing and changing a lot lately, and I haven't processed it all yet, that's for sure. Seems like with others, I'm having a lot of strange, unfamiliar scenarios, and I can feel my perspective greatly shifting. I'm sure I'll understand it better as time goes on. But for now, I'll just let it be what it is and try to ease up and have a good day. I hope you do as well.
I don't know about you, but all the confusion aside, I'm ready to go forward. As always, love to you,
C.A. MacConnell
I'm growing and changing a lot lately, and I haven't processed it all yet, that's for sure. Seems like with others, I'm having a lot of strange, unfamiliar scenarios, and I can feel my perspective greatly shifting. I'm sure I'll understand it better as time goes on. But for now, I'll just let it be what it is and try to ease up and have a good day. I hope you do as well.
I don't know about you, but all the confusion aside, I'm ready to go forward. As always, love to you,
C.A. MacConnell
4/04/2023
Our Time.
Good morning to the early risers. I took this a while back, but I have a new challenge for myself...to make simple flower pictures into something interesting and/or incredible. Hard to do, b/c it's overdone. Let's see what I can find in the next month or so.
C.A. MacConnell
4/03/2023
Cape
Tear off the faded sheets.
See the baby in the cape.
Blue eyes make me weep
in the morning's brittle garden,
in the wind's canine chill,
in the hungry afternoon,
in the vapor-rich night,
in the sky's gray coat --
a screen, a pouring sea --
in the almost-accident,
in the azure sunset,
in the sudden curve ball,
in the sure, little death
of each and every sleep,
in the return,
in the wicked toss to wake,
in the backache stretch to rise.
We wear secret, golden skins.
C. A. MacConnell
See the baby in the cape.
Blue eyes make me weep
in the morning's brittle garden,
in the wind's canine chill,
in the hungry afternoon,
in the vapor-rich night,
in the sky's gray coat --
a screen, a pouring sea --
in the almost-accident,
in the azure sunset,
in the sudden curve ball,
in the sure, little death
of each and every sleep,
in the return,
in the wicked toss to wake,
in the backache stretch to rise.
We wear secret, golden skins.
C. A. MacConnell