Ha, I did actually scare a few people. In the spirit today...just some photos from my life, really. Hope you have a beautiful day. Love, C.A.
C.A. MacConnell
10/31/2023
10/30/2023
Attention
For a while now, I've been trying to capture the spooky vibe/feel of these lights, their placement, and the tree/sky, and I think I nailed it yesterday. Kinda dark, but I really like this one, just for the depth of feeling it creates.
C.A. MacConnell
10/29/2023
10/27/2023
10/26/2023
10/25/2023
Untitled
Just a little flash poem I wrote just now...hope you like it, and I hope you're feeling awesome! Love, me.
Untitled
This morning, when I couldn’t speak,
the sky turned into
fire, and I knew I was kindling,
part of what the strange,
few
paired-up people
call this:
forever.
We dreamers have to
stick.
C.A. MacConnell
Untitled
This morning, when I couldn’t speak,
the sky turned into
fire, and I knew I was kindling,
part of what the strange,
few
paired-up people
call this:
forever.
We dreamers have to
stick.
C.A. MacConnell
10/24/2023
The Mess, The Beauty
Sometimes, the ultimate beauty rests within the mess. I quite adore this messup...never give up. XO.
C.A. MacConnell
10/23/2023
10/22/2023
Sunday Photos.
Just some photos I took today. Hope your day went well. I'm resting, I guess, although I'm not good at resting, ha.
C.A. MacConnell
See You Soon.
One of my simplest shots but also, one of my favorites...I took it some years back, and I titled it, "See You Soon," because I was missing someone, and the scene felt hopeful, magical, and alive. :) I intend to embrace this feeling today, with open arms.
Here's something I just wrote on social media...I liked it, so I decided to repost it here...
Good morning.
With everything going on in this world, I often become disheartened, to say the least. But I just woke up feeling my heart, trying to focus on the love in my life, trying to focus on the positive. I thought about those of you who have been a part of my life for so many years. I thought about those I've just met, and how they've added to my growth, learning, and joy. And whenever I become overwhelmed by the wild onslaught of news, or whenever I become afraid of the future, I have to ask myself this: "In my immediate vicinity, in whatever small shape or form, how can I be helpful? How can I somehow add to the good? What can I do? How can I enrich someone's life, just have others have done for me; this direction, this course of thinking, involving looking inward, always seems to be the way to go."
C.A. MacConnell
10/21/2023
10/20/2023
10/19/2023
Fall to Touch, and some thoughts.
Nine Years
The way it unfolds. New tires, new employment, new battery. Cookie dough ice cream with her, Americano with him, phone talks with them. Less words, more photographs, new, tighter hugs, new body, and fresh, lined smiles. The way it unfolds. How I clung to journals and horses. I’m proud of nine years of getting to know my new hat, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. The dreams are real, but how I get there -- that is the mystery, and the path is divine, if I allow it to be. I have no idea, but I’m guessing that what comes next has something to do with this: more. What comes next has something to do with this: us.
Have a beautiful day. Just here for the ride, and I'm feeling open. :)
C.A. MacConnell
10/18/2023
Traffic Light
Thought we could use some color today. :) Beautiful day outside. Love to you,
C.A. MacConnell
Nineties
Actually, this wasn't written with one person in mind, but the character grew out of the dreamy feel of watching so many warriorlike music acts in the nineties, when I was at concerts nearly every day, and I was definitely lost in the scene. In many ways, shows were dangerous as hell back then but also, many were on fire. :) I still get this feel when I'm at a really intense show although, if I tried moshing now, I think I'd prefer to stay on the crowd surfing end, rather than in the pit, ha. I'm not as resilient, but I'm tough, and I know how to weave through a crowd and avoid security like no other, that's for sure. It's a practiced gift, ha. I may have seats in the nosebleed, but I'll end up in the Pit every time. Hope you have a great day. C.A.
Nineties
Deep, low, and rumbling, through thick lips,
your voice poured out like the lonely cave
echo. After rolling, star years on the rising
road, some days your sound slid into a sleepy
whisper, a gravelly grumble, a drowsy drawl.
Bad nights melted into sick mornings, but you
were alive, young, and the songs were clear.
Each show, you fought the mean crowd's
undertow, and how the wild, slippery fingers
grabbed at your long, dark hair, tearing out
pieces. Skin and nails were lost and found,
becoming souvenirs, and after a while,
when you were beaten by the relentless war
of touch, you didn't feel it; you were all
so skinny and numb. All around, wide-eyed
officers brushed knuckles against cuffs,
slapping palms against sticks, caressing
tasers and guns. When all crowd mouths
opened, when all heads tilted, when all eyes
looked up, watching you climb into the rafters,
creating a massive yawn, a gaping world,
the unexpected tour of all tours, everyone,
even the largest men, reached for you.
C.A. MacConnell
Nineties
Deep, low, and rumbling, through thick lips,
your voice poured out like the lonely cave
echo. After rolling, star years on the rising
road, some days your sound slid into a sleepy
whisper, a gravelly grumble, a drowsy drawl.
Bad nights melted into sick mornings, but you
were alive, young, and the songs were clear.
Each show, you fought the mean crowd's
undertow, and how the wild, slippery fingers
grabbed at your long, dark hair, tearing out
pieces. Skin and nails were lost and found,
becoming souvenirs, and after a while,
when you were beaten by the relentless war
of touch, you didn't feel it; you were all
so skinny and numb. All around, wide-eyed
officers brushed knuckles against cuffs,
slapping palms against sticks, caressing
tasers and guns. When all crowd mouths
opened, when all heads tilted, when all eyes
looked up, watching you climb into the rafters,
creating a massive yawn, a gaping world,
the unexpected tour of all tours, everyone,
even the largest men, reached for you.
C.A. MacConnell
10/16/2023
Photo.
Good morning. If you woke up feeling kinda down, turn it around. I will if you will. Hope you have the best day ever. Love to you,
C.A. MacConnell
10/15/2023
Photo, Our Side. And some thoughts on humility.
Humility
Last night, I heard a man say this: “To me, humility means more than just a feeling. It means that I pray to let me be what God wishes me to be, and then I listen. After that, I take the action that supports what I see and hear. To me, humility means action.”
The words really struck me, calling out to me, and the entire discussion redirected my thinking. I suppose I’ve heard similar phrases before but in that moment, it really sank in. Funny how words can hit us differently at various times in life.
Anyway, instead of musing about what I’m trained to do, what I like to do, what I want, and the like, I began to think of myself in terms of acting as a “vessel” of God’s direction. I began to think of my gifts, and how I can add to this world, rather than take from it. And indeed, that is a humbler view of one’s life path…because it turns me more into a “receiver” of direction, rather than someone who forces a certain way upon the world. It also relaxed me some, reminding me to slow down and notice more why I’m here.
It was a great reminder for me, and I plan to add these words to my morning prayers. Let’s see what rolls out next.
C.A. MacConnell
10/14/2023
Caution
Continuing October's spooky vibe. Would you ask them for candy? Ha. I would. Hope you have a good day.
C.A. MacConnell
10/13/2023
Crow. And some thoughts.
Here's a nice, spooky October picture for you. I'm just sitting here thinking that I'm at my best when I believe, when I see magic, and when I allow myself to dream wildly. And I am a big dreamer. I'm lost in daydreams more often than not. And lately, I'm realizing that my heart always knows the truth. I may second guess it, when the world gets in the way, and when my mind begins to tear off into overdrive, but if I get back to the quiet, my heart always knows the truth.
Yesterday, my friend was struggling with her new printer, and she became incredibly frustrated about it. And I said, "Keep trying. You'll figure it out." Today, I ran into her again, and I smiled and asked, "Hows about that printer?" She responded, "Yes, I got it fixed, and when I went back to the store, I realized it's now on sale, and I was able to get some money back." I responded, "See, it was a divine plan." She smiled and said, "Yes."
I may wrestle with uncertainty. I may become frustrated with things, or I may think that some situation is a mess but perhaps, it is unfolding in a way that is better for me, and I just don't know it yet. Like that printer situation. Like so many things in life that are weaved together in strange ways.
It reminds me of this: I have no idea. No idea at all. I have to allow the gentle, divine surprise to enter my life, and with time, it will. It always does.
And when I was cleaning my apartment tonight, muttering random frustrations, I stopped myself, and I said out loud to you, to God, to the ghosts, to myself, "There must be a reason for all of this. There must be a reason. This is not all for nothing. It is all unfolding this way for some purpose. I don't know what the result will be, but I do know this: no matter what happens, this love I feel...it never goes away."
C.A. MacConnell
Yesterday, my friend was struggling with her new printer, and she became incredibly frustrated about it. And I said, "Keep trying. You'll figure it out." Today, I ran into her again, and I smiled and asked, "Hows about that printer?" She responded, "Yes, I got it fixed, and when I went back to the store, I realized it's now on sale, and I was able to get some money back." I responded, "See, it was a divine plan." She smiled and said, "Yes."
I may wrestle with uncertainty. I may become frustrated with things, or I may think that some situation is a mess but perhaps, it is unfolding in a way that is better for me, and I just don't know it yet. Like that printer situation. Like so many things in life that are weaved together in strange ways.
It reminds me of this: I have no idea. No idea at all. I have to allow the gentle, divine surprise to enter my life, and with time, it will. It always does.
And when I was cleaning my apartment tonight, muttering random frustrations, I stopped myself, and I said out loud to you, to God, to the ghosts, to myself, "There must be a reason for all of this. There must be a reason. This is not all for nothing. It is all unfolding this way for some purpose. I don't know what the result will be, but I do know this: no matter what happens, this love I feel...it never goes away."
C.A. MacConnell
10/12/2023
Yellow Springs.
Here's a simple little shot I took some time ago. I've always liked it. I've been working hard, but I'm having fun taking pictures of friends...and making new friends. Learning how to reach out more and create more of a family, I guess. It's new growth for me...creating friendships. I think most people learned this kind of thing in high school, but I've had a lot on my plate, so I'm a bit behind. :) It feels a little scary too. I've begun to hug people, here and there, which is new for me as well.
Honestly, not only have I not had a partner in almost nine years, but also, I haven't even held someone's hand during this whole time (except during a group prayer or something) ...when I say I'm an introvert, I mean it, but I am changing some, very slowly, and it feels right. Interesting. My whole life has done a 180 in the past year and every morning, I have panic, but I'm learning to settle quicker and quicker, and when I do, indeed, I'm trusting my higher power even more than ever before. Hope you have a nice evening. I will have a lot to write about when I barrel through this growth spurt, that's for sure.
Love,
C.A. MacConnell
Honestly, not only have I not had a partner in almost nine years, but also, I haven't even held someone's hand during this whole time (except during a group prayer or something) ...when I say I'm an introvert, I mean it, but I am changing some, very slowly, and it feels right. Interesting. My whole life has done a 180 in the past year and every morning, I have panic, but I'm learning to settle quicker and quicker, and when I do, indeed, I'm trusting my higher power even more than ever before. Hope you have a nice evening. I will have a lot to write about when I barrel through this growth spurt, that's for sure.
Love,
C.A. MacConnell
10/10/2023
10/09/2023
Pumpkin Carver.
Good morning. Film shots. Hope your day is full of love and light and laughter. Roanoke, I love and miss you, every day. Let's make this happen. Enough said. <3
C.A. MacConnell
10/08/2023
10/05/2023
10/04/2023
Photo: Self.
Real, me, today. Sitting here covered in Tiger Balm from neck to shoulders. But this afternoon, on my walk, I discovered the best soft serve I've ever had. :) Indeed, it's the little things. I'd be truly happy with a tiny house, a dog or cat, true love, a safe car, one pair of comfy shoes, enough clothes to wear so as not to get arrested for being naked, just enough money to pay the bills, and maybe some soup spoons and a mug. And yes, a large-sized winter hat for my big noggin. That's about it.
Ah, and a masseuse or hot tub may be necessary as a guilty pleasure.
Hope you're having a beautiful day. Just a note to say hello today. I've been struggling with anxiety, but I'm quite used to it, so I can walk around with it, and no one even knows...truth. I realize we're all walking around with numerous feelings, wants, difficulties, pains, and joys. Never know what someone may be going through. <3
C.A. MacConnell
Ah, and a masseuse or hot tub may be necessary as a guilty pleasure.
Hope you're having a beautiful day. Just a note to say hello today. I've been struggling with anxiety, but I'm quite used to it, so I can walk around with it, and no one even knows...truth. I realize we're all walking around with numerous feelings, wants, difficulties, pains, and joys. Never know what someone may be going through. <3
C.A. MacConnell
10/03/2023
Route Graffiti
Came upon this little gem on the backroads. I've always liked graffiti...any kind really. Just my thing. Love, C.A. MacConnell
Iris
Maybe I worry
that you won’t like it.
Maybe I worry that you will
love it.
Kiss the blue side
of my
lip.
My eyelid is
twitching. My ears are ringing.
My cheeks are crimson.
I swear that your iris
appears to resemble
a black
hole. Several times,
I describe it as dark
just to be
safe.
C.A. MacConnell
This is turning into a song, actually, and I'm digging it, but I'm still working on it.
that you won’t like it.
Maybe I worry that you will
love it.
Kiss the blue side
of my
lip.
My eyelid is
twitching. My ears are ringing.
My cheeks are crimson.
I swear that your iris
appears to resemble
a black
hole. Several times,
I describe it as dark
just to be
safe.
C.A. MacConnell
This is turning into a song, actually, and I'm digging it, but I'm still working on it.
10/02/2023
Jukebox
Good morning. Hoping to be open enough to have the perspective to see the miracles present in the day. Hoping to see opportunities and be brave enough to take more risks.
Hoping for protection, healing, and... a vacation. :)
Hoping for protection, healing, and... a vacation. :)
C.A. MacConnell
10/01/2023
The Reach
Hi there, this is how I'm feeling. Reaching out to you, to God, to the world, listening. My site blew up for a bit, and then it settled. So strange. Could be phishing or google hitting it, I have no idea. I guess I don't understand this stuff. I hope to one day be able to promote more...or have someone do it for me, have a new site, and allow comments and such. Of course, that's the goal. Until then, here I am, ha. Hope you're having a good day, and I hope you like the poem. Love to you, C.A.
The Reach
With his fingers, one lonely man
carved a perfect, nude, stone sculpture.
A single woman penned a lofty book,
one about a shy, misunderstood
monster, a recluse who was half
machine. Others wrote elusive,
naked songs and poems. Nomads
poured out bibles and speeches.
Soliloquies. Today, each moment,
the world still cracks, falling in love
with Marilyn Monroe. And here I am,
digging into the stream, trying
to express what lies inside,
but like the rest, I'll never quite
reach. I'm sure you already know.
C.A. MacConnell
The Reach
With his fingers, one lonely man
carved a perfect, nude, stone sculpture.
A single woman penned a lofty book,
one about a shy, misunderstood
monster, a recluse who was half
machine. Others wrote elusive,
naked songs and poems. Nomads
poured out bibles and speeches.
Soliloquies. Today, each moment,
the world still cracks, falling in love
with Marilyn Monroe. And here I am,
digging into the stream, trying
to express what lies inside,
but like the rest, I'll never quite
reach. I'm sure you already know.
C.A. MacConnell
