Good morning. I've been doing heavy revisions on Book Five, and I've been sleeping a lot. It's taking a lot out of me. Some people say...why are you doing this, if it's that difficult, if it makes you feel so many strong emotions? Well, I've felt the gamut of strong emotions in my lifetime, and I've barreled through those, and I suppose, deep down, this feels like what my higher power wants me to do.
The next right thing, so they say.
It's a strange process indeed. Mostly because, with this one particularly, the process is a completely internally driven one. So, here I am, trying. The only thing pushing this forward is the god inside of me. I did get a small grant, but it was tiny, so I have no real financial support for it either, so I'm attempting to work full time as well as finish this book, which would make anyone sleep a lot, ha. Trust me, it's a lot to take on.
The next right thing, so they say.
It's a strange process indeed. Mostly because, with this one particularly, the process is a completely internally driven one. So, here I am, trying. The only thing pushing this forward is the god inside of me. I did get a small grant, but it was tiny, so I have no real financial support for it either, so I'm attempting to work full time as well as finish this book, which would make anyone sleep a lot, ha. Trust me, it's a lot to take on.
But none of this is stopping me. Why? I feel like I have a story to tell. And I feel like it could change lives in the future, and I feel like that is more important than the difficult aspects of the process. And so, I take the risk, a huge internal risk, an investment in the betterment of myself, and an investment in others who have experienced similar struggles. Even if it never gets published, I feel that it will change me forever and brighten my life. And if it does that, then I can brighten the lives of those around me. And so, I barrel through it, driven by one thing: hope.
I suppose I could be all wrong about this mission, ha. And I'm sure if that's the case, then I'll learn that as well. Maybe it's just for me. Maybe it's simply necessary heavy-duty journaling, and I'll save it for me, who knows, but I keep rolling with it, and it'll be done soon.
If you haven't seen me around, that's why. I miss you, and I love you, and I can't wait to see you again, although I may be new to you.
C.A. MacConnell
