Good morning. Letting Book Five sit to gain some perspective, before I start revising that sucker again. It's a rather large project, and it's a difficult undertaking; nonetheless, the process of writing it has already changed me forever, and it continues to do so each moment, even as I'm gathering more information.
As a direct result of writing this work, I have been catapulted into change, so much so that I can barely keep up with myself, my life, and my feelings, and I admit that I'm definitely still processing it all, but at the same time, there are moments when I feel freer and stronger than I ever have.
I feel challenged. I feel afraid, angry, lost, confused. I feel somewhat alone, but I also feel that it's crucially necessary to trust myself, my inner spirit, and my choices, rather than rely on others for direction. I am feeling a more profound sense of self, but I'm not quite there yet, ha. Kind of in between the noise and the calm. A hell of a lot of noise.
Doing the best I can, I suppose. This is all very new to me, and recent events have challenged pretty much all of the beliefs I've held for a very long time. And so, I'm tired too. Half full, so to speak. I need a whirlpool. And free massages. A stuffed animal. A long hug. Stuff like that.
In the meantime, while things settle down, I show up, feel uncomfortable, and continue to stay the course. That's all I know to do. And today, I know I'll take a walk, meditate, do some chores, and see what else unfolds. One day at a time, as they say.
Sometimes, I want to just hop in my car and take off. And if I had the means, I probably would. But then again, wherever I ended up, I'm sure I'd come upon the same lessons...and I'd have to revisit them eventually, so the way I figure, might as well push through it now. Then take off. Something like that. Or, take off and learn them wherever. Ha. Who knows? I have no idea.
What I'd really like to do is to be able to spend all of my time on this book. I'd still take my walks, but other than that, I'd focus, because I think this work is that important. But at the moment, that's not doable, and I suppose I'm still living it. I've seriously thought about selling my car, but then I'd be stuck without wheels...coming from a woman who was nicknamed "Driverwoman" in college, that plan seems unwise.
Ah, I think I'll just make some coffee and do some reading for now. And muse about true love. And take some pictures today. Let some joy roll in. Grinning as I write this. See, letting things settle down in the midst of feeling an internal lion's roar.
Hope you're enjoying your morning, wherever you are. Stay tuned for news on my latest project, and in the meantime, you can find my other four works on Amazon. Just click on any of the book covers to the right, and it'll lead you to the page, as well as a description. Also, my author page is here.
If someone asked me this morning, what is my goal? Freedom. Play. Freedom.
I feel challenged. I feel afraid, angry, lost, confused. I feel somewhat alone, but I also feel that it's crucially necessary to trust myself, my inner spirit, and my choices, rather than rely on others for direction. I am feeling a more profound sense of self, but I'm not quite there yet, ha. Kind of in between the noise and the calm. A hell of a lot of noise.
Doing the best I can, I suppose. This is all very new to me, and recent events have challenged pretty much all of the beliefs I've held for a very long time. And so, I'm tired too. Half full, so to speak. I need a whirlpool. And free massages. A stuffed animal. A long hug. Stuff like that.
In the meantime, while things settle down, I show up, feel uncomfortable, and continue to stay the course. That's all I know to do. And today, I know I'll take a walk, meditate, do some chores, and see what else unfolds. One day at a time, as they say.
Sometimes, I want to just hop in my car and take off. And if I had the means, I probably would. But then again, wherever I ended up, I'm sure I'd come upon the same lessons...and I'd have to revisit them eventually, so the way I figure, might as well push through it now. Then take off. Something like that. Or, take off and learn them wherever. Ha. Who knows? I have no idea.
What I'd really like to do is to be able to spend all of my time on this book. I'd still take my walks, but other than that, I'd focus, because I think this work is that important. But at the moment, that's not doable, and I suppose I'm still living it. I've seriously thought about selling my car, but then I'd be stuck without wheels...coming from a woman who was nicknamed "Driverwoman" in college, that plan seems unwise.
Ah, I think I'll just make some coffee and do some reading for now. And muse about true love. And take some pictures today. Let some joy roll in. Grinning as I write this. See, letting things settle down in the midst of feeling an internal lion's roar.
Hope you're enjoying your morning, wherever you are. Stay tuned for news on my latest project, and in the meantime, you can find my other four works on Amazon. Just click on any of the book covers to the right, and it'll lead you to the page, as well as a description. Also, my author page is here.
If someone asked me this morning, what is my goal? Freedom. Play. Freedom.
C.A. MacConnell
