I'm Here. I've Got Your Back.
Yesterday, I was in the woods, about three and a half miles into a walk, when suddenly, I felt a great rush of air, and something soft brushed against my cheek. Startled, I stopped and looked left. Right there, on a log in front of me, a red-tailed hawk landed and turned to the side, looking back at me, seemingly grinning, as much as a hawk can grin. And I realized that what I had felt against my cheek were the hawk's wing feathers.
I studied him. He appeared to be an adult male, although I'm still a beginner when it comes to hawk sightings. Stunned, I looked at him and whispered, "Baby!" He wasn't a baby, but that's just what came out of my mouth, as if I were using it as an endearing term by a lover.
Still not moving, he looked back. Shadowed by the trees, he appeared absolutely beautiful and wise.
I moved a little closer. My heart fluttered, and then it felt warm, as if it filled up with something -- some kind of liquid gold, if you will, or, as I later thought -- absolute love. Literally, it felt as if the Spirit of the Universe were directly speaking to me, saying, "I'm here, I've got your back."
Frozen in place, seemingly unafraid, from the side, the hawk looked back at me through one big, clear, open eye.
Thank you, I thought, bringing my hands together, pressing my fingers close in prayer.
And for a brief second, he continued to look at me through that unblinking eye, making sure I was all right. And then he flew away.
For a few moments, I stood on the path, completely mesmerized. My next thought was, No one is going to believe me. Then, smiling, I thought, Who cares, I saw what I saw, I felt what I felt, and I believe it, and it is magnificent. I have never heard of a hawk coming that close to a person, and there was really no reason for him to swoop down like that -- he wasn't after any prey or anything. No mission at all, other than to say hello to me. Simply, he flew across the path for fun. Unbelievably, his feathers brushed against my cheek, and then he sat on the log. It was for me, and only me. Truly, I was blown away.
About a year ago, there was another time when I was walking and a hawk flew right over my head; that one was nearly close enough to touch me, and I could feel the breeze of the flight, but I've never, ever had one actually touch me before, and I've never heard of it happening to anyone else.
Writing to you this morning, I'm still amazed by the experience. Chills. Some people see burning bushes, I guess. I had a hawk touch my cheek. Amazing.
Someone, something, a greatness, is there. Every now and then, if I open my eyes, I can see the universe reveal this divinity, literally touching my skin.
I used to feel an affinity with wolves. In the past few years, it's changed to hawks. Somehow, I've become more aware of these creatures, and now I feel that a Great Spirit is reaching out to me, letting me know this: You are all right, just how you are, right here, right now, and I accept you and love you. Just checking in. I'm here. I've got your back. This is my version of God today; it changes with me, becoming new to me, and in turn, new to you.
C.A. MacConnell
