On my way in to get my hair cut, I saw a stranger -- a young,
black-haired, dark-eyed woman -- sitting on a bench beside me, gripping
her stomach with one hand, talking on the phone with the other. Then her
voice rose, and she sobbed and hung up.Sitting down on the bench next to her, I gave her a hug, holding on tight while she told me that her boyfriend broke up with her, and that she had nowhere to live. We talked for a while, and I repeatedly said, "Take it one moment at a time," and by the time I went in for my haircut, the girl had found a place to stay for the night, and she had used a Band-Aid to wipe the tears from her face (which worked better than I thought it would).
The next day, I was on a hike through the woods, and when I came to the end of the trail, I squinted, noticing that a strange shape was blocking my way. When I came closer, I saw that an older woman sat on the steps. Hunched over, she too was weeping. I had never seen her before either, but I sat down next to her and gave her a hug. No words, just touch. Later, I found out that she had been recently diagnosed with a chronic illness. Soon, surgery. She told me that she was seventy, and she'd been coming to those same woods since she was seven years old. When she stopped crying, she said, "God will take care of me." Then, as if passing on a spiritual gift, she gave me her walking stick, and she hopped in the car with her sister.
It comes to all of us, doesn't it? It comes in waves at times.
This morning, I read about the Native American view on feelings. The words spoke of the power of prayer, and it went on to say that if a person prays from the head, the person feels nothing, but if a person prays from the heart, the feelings come. Suppose for a moment that when we ask, sometimes the answer comes in a purification of feelings; that is, grief, panic, and the like. In their culture, they view it as a cleansing ceremony, which I think is such a beautiful idea. It's not embarrassing to them; rather, it's a respected, honored, natural order of things. People are allowed time to grieve and such, and it's recognized in the community as well, creating a web of support.
Throughout the course of the day, week, year, and lifetime, they are allowed to be who they really are, and not only that, but they are encouraged to be. They put great value on the internal process, something that gets so lost between us at times.
Sometimes all we need is touch.
C.A. MacConnell
