Choosing to Evolve

Just wrote this little piece on FB. Here ya go:

Choosing to Evolve

Trauma teaches people like me to react like this: "It's only getting worse, and I'm trapped." Or this: "I'm a big fat, ugly piece of shit." These lines used to play on repeat in my head when I faced adversity.

But I've noticed I'm becoming more comfortable with the uncomfortable things. So yesterday may have sucked, but at the end, I thought this: "Oh well, no big deal, tomorrow will change." And then I thought this: "Holy shit, it's amazing that I'm seeing it that way now." Ha, rather like stepping outside of yourself for a second. Really, it's a miracle, this change in me.

I used to think setbacks would snowball into Armageddon every time. And sometimes, sure, maybe they did, I guess, but regardless, I have no control. Never know ... good or bad ... it comes and goes. Highs and lows, and of course, we all have the shit show from time to time, yeah.

But any one event, or whatever happens that affects my life...these strange (and sometimes seemingly random) occurrences are rather unimportant. What's important is where I go from there...my next thought, choice, action.

It's about evolving, if I choose to do so.

Indeed, I can make the choice to go backwards. And sometimes, it can feel more comfortable to retreat, because it's what I know.

But more and more these days, I'm risking the forward movement. Because, what if all our trials and headaches and wrongs and rights and messes are for one purpose? One. What if it's as simple as this -- something, someone, out there, or something inside us all ... wants us to be happy.

So go ahead, believe, because if you're always in a state of believing, there is no fear.

C.A. MacConnell