Imagination. Yesterday, I made a list of the times in my life when I felt happiest. Dancing in the desert, skinny dipping, nude hikes, relaxing in a field, watching horses graze, things of that nature. Some of them had to do with partners or friends, people who brought out the wild in me, mostly. Other moments were simply lone times when I tapped into it myself.
But these are the times when I've been at my best. And I think that's where the heart of my new book comes from as well -- longing for that wildness and also, longing to share that with someone as well. Of course, I can tap into it on my own, and I have for many years. I feel it when I get deep into writing fiction or poetry. I also feel it when I'm singing, on certain walks, or when I take photos. Concerts can put me there too. Not all, but some. I especially miss the nineties concerts and the mosh pits...those were the epitome of the feral feel that I adore. And still other days, I can reach that place just by dreaming or becoming lost in my imagination.
Ah, the wild. Yes. Ever since I was a little girl, I've longed for that freedom. I still do. There's a part of me that feels a little different than many around me. Maybe that's my creative nature or free spirit, I'm not sure. Or maybe we all long for it; some of us just express it more than others. That may be the truth. I'm not sure.
I suppose I spend many days wishing I were a tree or a hawk. To me, things make more sense in that realm.
When I look at my list, and I remember all of these moments, and I ask myself which one strikes me as the one that stands out, it's this: I was driving cross country with a friend, and we happened upon a Native American gathering in the Nevada desert, and all night long, we danced around the fire. It was magnificent. I was right in the moment, and I wasn't worried about a goddamn thing. Later, we froze our asses off when the temperature dropped, ha, and we had to use our body heat to stay warm and so, we hugged each other. We weren't partners. We did it to survive, and it was innocent and unique. I'll never forget that evening. The vision of it fills my heart with warmth.
The wild is inside...but a desert fire helps. XO. And so does music, and the like. And so do leaders...other creative souls who pave the way there. Sometimes, we need someone to give us permission to play, to be free...until we can do it ourselves. When I get too serious, these leaders can point me back to the child inside that I love.
After all, when someone is near, and he sparks me with passion, it is a reflection of my desires. And so, it unfolds. We can help each other, if we're aware. We can help each other with the spark. We can help each other return there, if need be.
I'm not sure what's next for me, but I intend to read a bunch, and I have a book of fiction started...so that's on my mind. :) I've been enjoying writing songs on piano and singing in churches, and I have a whole album written now. Pretty rad. It's funny. I just play to God, and I don't really think too much about having an audience. I wouldn't mind necessarily, but I'm just having fun creating.
Love to you,
C.A. MacConnell
P.S. FIVE published books by C.A. MacConnell on Amazon NOW!
P.P.S. Need writing help? M.A. English/Creative Writing, Hollins University. Over 30 years of experience in all genres. You name it; I can do it. PHOTOS: custom, signed prints. Or prints on metal or canvas, ready to hang. Email: right here.
