Back when I was fourteen, there was this tall, brown-haired, seventeen-year-old guy with chiseled features and a six pack who used to give me rides out to the barn. We'll call him Tyler. We both had horses, and I guess we lived in the same area, so he became my chauffeur every now and again. I never paid him a dime.
Well, the whole ride there, and the whole ride home, I was absolutely silent. Tyler cracked jokes and drove like a maniac to try and bust me out of my shell, but I was a tough passenger; I sat there motionless and mute. He was that guy -- handsome, popular, strangely perpetually tan, older, cool -- and I had no idea what to say, but I secretly hoped that one day I'd become a wicked conversationalist and reel him in with my stunning charisma.
Well, on the way home one time, a miracle happened.
Tyler shrugged, looked at me, and asked, "Hey, you want to see a movie Friday?"
I watched his chiseled jaw move at the end of "Friday." Then, silently, I nodded, and I didn't move, but on the inside, I felt like I could possibly climb Everest. Surely, I'd just won an Academy Award.
Then Tyler added something that made it even better. In that sexy voice, through those full lips, he said, "It's at the drive-in."
Again, I nodded. Definitely, my heart was a home for an octopus.
That week at school seemed to last forever. I watched the clock. I rode my horse. I ate dinner with the family halfheartedly. I watched the clock. I marked off days on my tiny horse wall calendar. When I told Mom I was going to the movies with Tyler, she didn't worry at all. My dad knew his dad, and the like. We'd all been friends for some time.
When Friday finally arrived, I had no idea what to wear. Most of the time, I wore jeans and t-shirts, and I only had a few dresses that I hated. I tried on a slew of outfits. I tried to put on makeup, and then I washed it off. I stood there, staring at my fourteen-year-old frame, knowing that I really didn't even need the training bra that I was wearing, but I fixed it straight anyhow, trying to push up my kid chest. Nothing. Finally, I just put on some jeans and a t-shirt.
The doorbell rang.
I heard Mom answer it with a "Hi there."
Slowly, like a prom queen, I stepped down the stairs, but as I moved, I started to hear voices. Too many voices. Tyler's voice, another girl's voice, another weird male voice. Confused, I continued my great princess walk. When I arrived at the front hall, I saw Tyler, an older girl, and a another guy who looked to be about my age.
Tyler pointed at the girl. "This is Caroline, my girlfriend." Then he pointed at the other guy. "And this is Nick, her brother, your date."
Silently, I nodded. Suddenly I realized this horror: while I thought Tyler wanted to go on a date with me, the whole time he'd been planning to set me up with a guy my age. I was shocked and confused.
Mom grinned wildly, pushing me out the door.
We all hopped in the car and headed toward the drive-in.
In the back seat, next to Nick, I chewed on my nails and squirmed a little, mostly staring at the floor.
Nick was silent too. Obviously, he was just as confused about the setup as I was.
Tyler and Caroline chattered away.
Through the whole movie, I was silent. The whole way home, I was silent. But just as we reached my house, I turned my head to look at Nick. I really looked. He had huge, blue, watery eyes. He was small in stature, like me. His hair was light brown, like mine. I laughed a little, just because.
And Nick looked back. He really looked. Then he grinned. Then he chuckled.
I grinned back. Then I breathed in deeply, summoning all of my courage, and asked Nick this: "We have a school dance. Wanna go? It's soon."
Silently, Nick nodded. Then he whispered, "I got a suit."
Then I glanced up, checking up on the front seat action. First, I looked right.
Caroline was staring out the window.
Then I looked straight up at the rear view mirror.
Big-eyed, Tyler was watching me through the reflection. Startled at being caught, he looked away. It was as if Tyler was shocked that after all that time, in one night, Nick had broken my silence, not him.
Silently, gripping the wheel tight, Tyler pulled into the driveway. Silently, motionless, he nodded and waved goodbye.
Strangely, he never gave me rides out to the barn again. It was as if, in that rear view moment, our age difference was beginning to lessen, as it does with the passage of time.
C.A. MacConnell
