It's amazing how people change when the weather shifts. Myself included.
For a few days, in this town, after we had a significant snowfall, and the temperature dropped, it seemed like the world stopped. Indeed, few cars drifted down the road. The grocery store was a ghost town. No one (except me) was out taking a walk. What a ridiculous soldier. Everything turned slow and peaceful. There was no hustle and bustle. There was no drive to get to the top. There wasn't even a drive to get down the driveway, really. Everyone was nestled in, I assume. Even the animals were scarce -- a lone dog here and there, a frantic deer, a few solo birds darting about, then disappearing.
When I was walking, I imagined some God looking down and announcing this: There now, be still.
Two days later, the temperature rose, and all beings were melting. And with the melt returned the wild ride of civilization -- a long line of cars at the pharmacy drive-through, a man giving the finger to some kid who just hit his car, someone getting a speeding ticket, the shopping lists, the dog walking, the exercising, the mad dash to fill up the tank, the routine, the whole shebang.
There wasn't much transition at all. It was if a switch went off. I'd call it electric, yeah.
But I truly thought about the way my routine changed when the quiet, winter weather hit. Certainly, I wasn't able to get everything done; I don't even think I accomplished half of my regular routine. And I thought about how it really didn't matter if I got everything done right when I thought I needed to. I decided to stop beating myself up for missed chores, missed cleanings, and messing up in general. My whole life, I've been afraid of messing up, and you know what...now I'm thinking it's just all right to let some things slide.
The important research, the term paper, the housework -- it'll get done tomorrow. Because the down times are when we spend time with family, friends, and all of the loved ones, the people who see you through a divorce, a terrible loss, the horse's death, the illness, the addiction, the wedding, the back pain, the food poisoning, and all of life's noise.
The down times show you who you really like to be with, who your true support is, and who you really are. And fuck, did I laugh with my coworker Frank (name changed) today when we were supposed to be busy.
When I think about my day, and my life, these are the loving times that stick, lifting me up.
There now, be still.
C.A. MacConnell
