Usually, I try to connect with something greater out there each day,
whether it be with the hawks or the mysterious presence I call God. Not a
bad word for it. Overused, maybe, but it means the world to me.
But this morning, I was in a hurry, so I didn't pray when I woke up; I forgot to slow-talk to the universe. My mind was speedy, and I ran out of the house in that familiar, lovely, confusing state of "processing and thinking and figuring things out."
Driving and oh-yeah-still-thinking, I stopped in an Express Mart for some snacks. I was on a mission -- run in, run out, get on with the day, the usual. My tricky brain incessantly rolled on, and I'll admit that the word "peace" certainly wasn't at the forefront of my mind.
At the counter, a tall woman with thick bangs and long, blond hair rang me up.
I looked at the side of her face and asked, "Are you having a good day?"
She turned to face me, handed over my change, and responded, "I'm working on it."
I chuckled. "Me too." I looked at her straight on, eye to eye. "Thanks for saying that. It makes me feel like I'm not alone."
She shrugged and smiled. "Oh, you're definitely not alone in that."
"Oh, I know, for sure," I said, nodding. "Thanks."
"You're welcome."
I thought that she had moved on to the next customer, but on my way out the door, she called out, "Just remember, you are blessed!"
"I am," I agreed. I paused. "I am," I said again.
Maybe it was a simple morning exchange, but it felt like the universe was speaking to me, reminding me to be grateful, reminding me to get back to the spirit realm and take a break from my human, self-centered thinking. The fear, the roar. Sitting in my hot car, I talked to God. Then I yelled, I cried, I let it all out. See, I believe that my God hears me when I'm being real, whether I be pissed or humble and holy. And then I prayed to forgive myself, forgive others, and let go. And I asked for direction.
I needed a wake up call. A simple stop at the store turned my perspective around. On the way home, I thought about what matters -- my family, the way they pull for me and back me up time and time again. I thought about my friends and specifically, the women who are there to catch me. And then I thought about that woman in the store. Maybe she was a stranger, but not anymore. In that moment, she became another human being making her way, just like me, flaws and all. I thought, Be good, be kind, be real, be open, always. Make decisions for a greater good.
Pause. We are all in this.
C.A. MacConnell
