Checking In...

Hi there, here is the full shot that I took a little bit ago...the one that I used for my cover for STRANGE SKIN. Thought I would share. :) Hope you are all enjoying the book...I wanted to thank so many for supporting my artistic journey.

I am very grateful.

The book is available here.

A full description of the story is there as well. The novel is appropriate for all ages.

Pass it on! Word of mouth is my best friend! <3

Thanks again and love and peace to you,

C.A. MacConnell

Breaking News: My 2019 Novel, STRANGE SKIN, is Available Now!

Hello there! Guess what? STRANGE SKIN, my third novel, is available right here at this link. 

It's been a long time coming, and I'd be thrilled if you'd check it out and purchase a copy. 

I'm so excited for you to join me in the experience of an incredible story that I created all by my lonesome. Now it's for everyone! <3

Appropriate for all ages.

STRANGE SKIN is a dramatic, young adult mystery with an adult crossover. Strong, stubborn, and ragingly honest Lucky Romano is struck with deep panic when her boyfriend, Jonah Church, vanishes from a school party. As Lucky becomes a spirited detective and uncovers the betrayals and criminal secrets buried within her friends' pasts, she discovers the truth behind Jonah's disappearance, and in the process, she faces her fierce anxiety head-on, learning how to heal and continue to love.

Available now on Amazon!

Pass it on!

A word from me:

Book signing #1 coming soon. Details still to be determined. Can't wait to see you all there.

What a miracle...can't believe it's finally a finished work of art. I'm stoked. And tired! <3

Thank you for your support, and I wish you a day and a life of awesome magic. Much love.

Currently teary,

C.A. MacConnell

Photo: Big Cat.

C.A. MacConnell

Photo: Skater, Devou Park

Skater

Devou Park, Kentucky

Sharing one of my favorite shots. Hey, I'm 45 today. Whoa. ha. Roar. Still a lot of Leo left in me. Today was my deadline to get my book out...not gonna happen, oh well. Not my fault...printing issues. It's ready to go on my end. Lord. Not long now! Pushing it along. Keeping the faith. Being a lion.

Love to you,

C.A. MacConnell

Checking in...

This is Argo, my muse. I have other muses, but they're secret. I fell in love with both Argo and one other muse. Risk of the trade. <3

Hey, the book's all ready to go. My third novel. Just fixing some front and back cover glitches...not long now!

Trying to be patient, but so anxious! :)

Wow, I've had some heavy emotions with the upcoming release of this sucker. Mainly fear has crept in for the past few weeks...but I'm feeling better today. But it's amazing what a person will go through when in an intense state of anticipation. While doing laundry or trying to go to my day job, I think this and only this:  how soon can I share this creation with the world? Obviously, the content is affecting me as well...there's a lot of my heart in this one.

Well, there's a lot of my heart in all of my books. Hells yeah. I wouldn't have it any other way, emotional roller coaster or not.

I imagine it's similar for musicians releasing albums. Or painters about to have a showing. It's a mix of terror, excitement, and a huge amount of urgency.

In every way, I feel naked. Yes.

But so excited for everyone to read this story. There's a powerful message behind this sucker, buried underneath the mystery and fun...

STAY TUNED. STAY WITH ME. COMING SOON. IN GOD'S TIME.

Much love to you, always,
C.A. MacConnell

Photo: Play

Play

Glenwood Gardens

C.A. MacConnell

And When Your Heart Burns

 An essay from a while back. Fill your heart today. 🔥🔥🧡

And When Your Heart Burns

When your heart burns, ask yourself, What if this is all there is? Right now, what if all that you have -- where you work, where you live (whether you are single, married, or in between), what car you drive, the car that's in the shop, your bus ticket, your bathtub, this sky, these stars -- what if it is all that you will ever have? What if you'll never be able to fix that hole in the wall? What if you are sitting on millions, but you are alone? What if this is all there is?

And for me...what if there's no book deal, no true love coming, no horse of my own, no cure for my illness? What if this small apartment, my aged cat, my lack of furniture, my barn job that's way below my experience, my few possessions, and my few clothes are all that I will ever have? What if I will have to fight my dark thoughts forever? What if this is it? Would this be all right?

Yes.

It has to be, because in this moment, this is my reality. I can accept it, or I can feel utterly defeated. Which one will I choose today? Will I choose to live inside a world of frustration, or will I do the best damn job I can while cleaning disgusting feed buckets. Well, my fingernails are black underneath, if that tells you anything. Suit up, show up, do the best job I can. In this moment, that is all I can do.

No.

Dream like a fire tearing through kindling. Dream like a warrior heading home to see the child he's never seen. Dream like a girl sitting in her closet, waiting for that one phone call. Dream like no one has ever dreamt before. Dream you will ride again, and dream that in the show ring, you will kick the ass of anyone you've ever worked for. Dream that motherfucker who told you not to dream will take a cross country trip and learn how to dream himself. When your heart burns, ask it where it wants to go. Dream like a windstorm ripping through the tallest trees. And dream that true love is coming, because magic makes you feel alive, and life is too short to feel any. other. way.

I see stars.

And then make sure the feed buckets are spotless.

C.A. MacConnell

WOOHOO!

WOOHOO! ON THE LAST PROOF NOW. CAN'T BELIEVE THIS SUCKER'S COMING OUT SOON. SO STOKED. BOOK THREE.

LOVE,
C.A.

Baby, Walk Right

Again, September wind rushes in,
carrying the sound

of red-tailed hawks,
and I'm surrounded

by the screech of it.
Look, the wings always

come back. Inside, they know.
No one ever reminds them

that it's their season.
Here, the fields are wild,

too-tall, and narrowly fenced-in;
some blades nearly touch

my thigh. Like prairie grass,
loose, calm waves sway yellow,

here and there singed
from another changed summer,

and outside every day,
but for the few fly nets,

these horses are naked.
First, I am muscle and manic

with the new, a baby
trying to prove myself.

We ache, made of bones
and skin, like them.

You and I live
for the strange, big eye,

the flight, the fresh-cut hay,
the hidden music

within animal silence,
and the clapping laughter

of the crowd.
Sometimes I get this life;

it makes sense to clean, feed,
sweat through the jeans,

and keep the blood
close to the heart.

It makes sense
to walk right

when leading the barefoot Paint
to the pasture,

making sure his hooves
strike the grass path,

rather than the gravel one,
because I see him squint,

and I know the journey must sting
without shoes.

C.A. MacConnell

Photo: ?

?

Northern Ohio

C.A. MacConnell

Open House

I think you would
like this place.

Shower water turns cold to shock.
Think short, kid fingers
burning in the snow.

I slip into my blue jacket.
I lace up my combat boots.

Outside, some windows slide open,
and the rest resting slam
shut. Somewhere, sweat

darkens a neck. Others
surely shiver home, straight

into the vein. Scattered in the square,
sleeping on benches,
tattooed girls cross and uncross,

pulling at wide-stretched
ears, twitching and laughing

near lonely, old men. Late skater boys
fuck, snake, paint, relate.
One of them, the smallest,

a half-finished painting…
well, he looks like you –

gaunt and buried within a yellowish glow
of lamp. I want to walk
with you. I want to step

on the heels of your shoes.
Alone feels right in this artist

light. Muted, a heavy makeup, it hides
the deepest flaws.
A splinter breaks free.

Now it’s caught in my curls,
and love is the man

who finally pries it loose. Well, now I am
almost inside. I feel almost
pretty. I think you would

like this place.

C.A. MacConnell

We Were Going Up

A piece I wrote a while back. Hope you like it! Have a beautiful day. <3, C.A.

We Were Going Up

A while back, I was in the elevator at a clinic, and there was this dark-haired kid who soon joined me. He was in a wheel chair, and his mom was pushing him, tucking him into the last empty space in the back. She seemed nervous about brushing against people. Well, everyone was edgy as hell. Isn't that always true about elevators? There's some kind of unspoken "Don't touch me or I'll kill you" rule.

So the elevator was packed, which always makes me nervous, because I, for one, hate the idea of brushing up against someone. Man. It's not really the actual touch that's bad -- it's the anticipation of the possible touch that's bad. The terrible wait for the inevitable accidental shirt sleeve hitting my coat. Shiver.

Anyway, we were going up. Well, we were supposed to be. See, right after we were all set, and all of our correct buttons had been pressed by Suit Man, and we were packed in there like candy in a dish, this blond lady squished her body inside and yelled, "Can you press 'floor one' for me?"

Suit Man growled and pressed the button for her.

With that, the kid in the wheel chair shrugged, looked at Blond Lady right in the eye and said, "Fuck you." Then he started cracking up.

I laughed too. Shit, we all wanted to say it. He was just the only one brave enough to bust out with the choice words. We were jam packed, someone smelled like ass, the weather had been horrible, and for sure, no one was visiting the clinic for any reason that was remotely enjoyable, and here was this woman squeezing her ass on our ride, looking to go down, when we were going up. So yeah, we all wanted to say it.

The kid looked at her and said it again. "Fuck you." Then he really started howling.

I did too. My nose started running. I looked around. A few others had some muffled chuckles going on, but the kid and I were really letting loose.

Then the kid's mom said to him, "Stop it. That's not nice."

From his wheelchair, the kid shrugged again and stared up at me, beaming.

I held up my thumb at him, beaming back at my partner in crime.

When we finally made it to our floor, number four, the kid and I slid on into the waiting room at the same time.

Then I saw the back of his head. A thin scar, a bald patch, stretched from the crown of his head all the way to his neck. Either brain surgery or trauma, I wasn't sure. But what struck me was that there we were, seeing docs for whatever random issues (and obviously he had some serious issues going on), but in that moment in the elevator, none of the physical bullshit really mattered. Our separate lives didn't matter. Our separate problems didn't matter. What mattered was one brave jokester (ironically, the most physically impaired one there), and one shared laugh. Perhaps our laugh was at Blond Lady's expense but hell, sister, we were going up.

When I feel my gut, my heart, my soul tell me what's right, regardless of the crowd, I gotta leave a few behind, join people like this kid, and head for the laughter and the light. See, I want to live my life fully, love, and focus on my dreams, not stay stuck in my head. Change is all around me. Onward and upward,

C.A. MacConnell

Photo.

I see myself on the move, having adventures. Free.
C.A. MacConnell