It All Just Works Out
When strange things happen -- like loss or expense or both -- why does it seem like these occurrences always happen at once, as if a steamroller of setbacks takes over one's life?
Like the spider, from time to time, I may get taken away by the wind or the strike of someone's hand. But the spider always rebuilds. Always.
Constantly, people lose, struggle, and rebuild.
This month, I lost a job for reasons out of my hands really, the A/C in my car broke, I needed a new cabin air filter and wipers, I had to have hours of ($$$$$$) dental work (with no insurance and no money in my account), I had a gazillion interviews (wearing the same exact outfit, my only interview outfit, to each one), my toilet broke, and I had to have a whole new one installed, I lost you and you and you, my friend went in the ICU, and on and on. Maybe small-ish things, but it seemed like they kept adding up, and I admit, my anxiety latched right on to the tangled pattern of mishaps, and I was on fire with the fear.
To the fear, I say, fuck you. (Call me Melody Beattie on speed, ha. I love her writing, actually).
Anyway, sure, some of this process was messy for me. Yeah, I wore a uniform of men's shirts and Adidas pants...hell, I always dress like that. But a wise woman I know always says, "It all just works out, one way or another; it just works out." This statement repeatedly comes from a woman who has dealt with horrific grief; some years back, she lost her son to murder.
Amazing, the comebacks people have. When I think of others and see the damn heart-wrenching happenings they all experience in their tricky lives, and then I see the strength they show when fighting their way through the grief and hardship maze, I realize that my wise friend is right. Things may not work out how I planned or hoped, but they do, indeed, work out, and if I allow it, a web of peace and love rolls right on back in.
Peace out,
C.A. MacConnell
