flash comedy
Bruce is Married, but He Plays a Guitar
In Vietnam, "Ciao" means "Hello."
Bruce does my sister's nails. He plays an acoustic/electric guitar. "You play?" he asks me.
"I mess around on guitar and piano," I answer.
"You don't look like your sister. Her hair is blond, and yours is black," he says.
"Well, mine's supposed to be lighter, and hers is supposed to be darker," I answer.
All around, all the guys mutter, "Oh."
Bruce nods. Bruce is married, but he plays a guitar, and he's hot. Always confusing.
I am not married, and I play guitar and piano. Even more confusing to Ken, who is also married, the one who usually does my nails (when I go once a year), but he isn't there. Ken has a 90-year-old client who has a crush on him, so she gave him a plastic toy -- a white rabbit with sunglasses, a creepy rabbit driving a blue sports car. It rolls. Neither Ken nor I could ever figure out the meaning of the thing. I guess Ken got fired or left though, because when I mention his name, the guys act like they have no idea who he is, but the rabbit is still there. Baffling.
The guy who does my nails won't tell me his name, and he claims he's sixteen, but Bruce whispers to me that he's really twenty-six. I ask my guy if he is in the mob.
He responds, "Do I look like I'm in the mob?"
I say, "No, but I bet you're a ladies man. You married?"
He says, "No, look at this," and he rubs the small roll on his belly.
I laugh and ask, "I like it. What did you eat?"
He cracks up and says, "Pizza, pork skin fried, so good. I like to sit at the T.V. and eat and eat." He makes a gesture with his hand as if it's a spoon, and he's scooping up the world. Then he asks, "You work today? What do you do?"
"I'm a writer," I say.
Bruce yells over. "Make sure you write about me. Make sure you tell them I play guitar."
I mull it over and answer, "You're married. I'm writing about the pork skin, and the white rabbit."
-- C.A. MacConnell
