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7/22/2025

Howdy. Do You Have Your Copies Yet? XO.

 

Hi there. I've had a challenging week! Here I was with my buddy yesterday. Just sharing something from my life. <3

Do you have your copies of my books yet? Click on any of the covers below, and it'll send you to a description and purchase info. Or, go here.

I'm excited about how folks are responding to my 2025 creation, RECOVER WILDLY:  DAILY SPIRITUAL ESSAYS FOR SURVIVORS. Mostly, I'm thrilled that it's helping some people. My first nonfiction book...and it's been quite a journey getting it out there. We've been so close to number one in Inner Child Self Help on Amazon, and we've been creeping down closer to number one on the general charts with all of my books. Rad. Thank you so much to all who are supporting my art. Here is my author page. More to come! 

Again, click/touch any of the covers below! Love to you, C.A. MacConnell






P.S. FIVE published books by C.A. MacConnell on Amazon NOW

P.P.S. Need writing help?
 M.A. English/Creative Writing, Hollins UniversityOver 30 years of experience in all genresYou name it; I can do it. PHOTOS: custom, signed prints. Or prints on metal or canvas, ready to hang. Email:  right here. 

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7/20/2025

Adventure and Connection

It's the end of my work week, and I'm sitting here like a grade school girl, wishing that love was like the movies. Growing up, I guess books and movies were the examples of love that I came to know. Also, my imagination. For instance, I used to dream that I was part of the cast of Dances with Wolves. Or Goonies. I wanted the adventure, and the intense connections. I still do. I long for it constantly, at least when I have down time. I create it in my songs and books, I suppose. The feeling I longed for...it had nothing to do with appearances. 

Rather, it was all about adventure and connection. Still is. Deep connection. Yes.

And yesterday, I was in the sanctuary wishing to God that one of my dreams would be real, in real life, in real time. I suppose I've been disappointed by movies, books, and my imagination, because some of it becomes quite real to me, at least when we're talking about emotions. 

Is that part of being an artist? Creating that loneliness on purpose? I'm wondering. A lot of great artists struggle with loneliness, depression, and the like. Even when I'm writing comedy it happens. Artists have all sorts of dilemmas on the side, but humans in general struggle with all of these things. So, I won't assume that any of it is special and simply reserved for artists. No. I think that notion is a cliche.

Perhaps I'm touching on a hole that everyone can relate to. Some say, fill it with God. Or focus on loving the self. Or help others. I haven't mastered these notions...I still look to outside things some days. Or, I stay alone and keep writing, things of that nature. I channel it into art, which keeps me alive, honestly. I do help a lot of folks...and that feels right to my heart. Yes. 

But I don't know the answer to this separateness we all seem to experience, and I don't know why it exists. 

Seems like the world should be gentler and less complicated.

But why can't one dream be real? Perhaps it is. It's all quite confusing to me right now, to put it mildly. After finishing my fifth book, I've been uncomfortable. Uncomfortable. Because I'm definitely changing, and it's uncomfortable. So, here I am. Fifty. Getting older by the day. Feeling older too. Looking in the mirror and feeling quite a bit of loss. And for a while I became trapped in the idea of wanting to fix everything, to keep up with all those Internet girls, stars, or young girls, or whatever. But just the thought of it is exhausting and sad to me. Going down that road doesn't make me happy. It's just not right to my heart.

But I'm real.

Does that matter to anyone?

I don't know.

Yes, it matters to my friends. And oftentimes, people approach me and tell me they appreciate my openness. So, there's that. But it scares folks too.

I'm definitely not anyone's trophy wife. I'm stubborn and strong as fuck some days. Other days I cry and want a cookie. Still other days you'll find me randomly dancing about my workday, cracking jokes like mad. I'm wild, unpredictable, and free, and that scares people too.

There is a fire inside of me that only singing touches. There is a fire inside of me for a completely different life, and I feel like I've fucked up. How I wish I could go back. I have a lot of regrets.

I remember hearing a story about Frida, how she and her lover lived in separate apartments that were connected by a walkway above ground. I understood that, but that's not for me either. I want to be with my wolf. I've had partners before, sure, over time, but it's been twelve years now. Twelve years, yeah. In that time, I've done a ton of therapy, written four books, built a lot of strength, and created a ton of photography, songs, and other things. But last night, when I was enjoying creating a new song in the sanctuary, I asked God for the dream to be real. 

Adventure and connection. Music. Yes. I'm not seeking. Instead, I'm experiencing these feelings and listening to the storm rolling in. And for what it's worth, I feel the fire inside of me right now, writing to you. 

Again, it has nothing to do with surface or appearances. It has to do with a soul connection. Indeed. For me, that fills the hole. And now, here we are, and I am smiling again.

Love to you,
C.A. MacConnell

P.S. FIVE published books by C.A. MacConnell on Amazon NOW

P.P.S. Need writing help?
 M.A. English/Creative Writing, Hollins UniversityOver 30 years of experience in all genresYou name it; I can do it. PHOTOS: custom, signed prints. Or prints on metal or canvas, ready to hang. Email:  right here. 

AUTHOR PAGE

7/19/2025

Burn

 


Howdy! I took this yesterday when I was out walking after work. Kinda dark, but fiery and sexy somehow too. I liked it. Hope you have a great evening. I'm trying to chill after a challenging week, for sure. Love to you, C.A. MacConnell

P.S. FIVE published books by C.A. MacConnell on Amazon NOW

P.P.S. Need writing help?
 M.A. English/Creative Writing, Hollins UniversityOver 30 years of experience in all genresYou name it; I can do it. PHOTOS: custom, signed prints. Or prints on metal or canvas, ready to hang. Email:  right here. 

AUTHOR PAGE

7/14/2025

The Wild

Imagination. Yesterday, I made a list of the times in my life when I felt happiest. Dancing in the desert, skinny dipping, nude hikes, relaxing in a field, watching horses graze, things of that nature. Some of them had to do with partners or friends, people who brought out the wild in me, mostly. Other moments were simply lone times when I tapped into it myself.

But these are the times when I've been at my best. And I think that's where the heart of my new book comes from as well -- longing for that wildness and also, longing to share that with someone as well. Of course, I can tap into it on my own, and I have for many years. I feel it when I get deep into writing fiction or poetry. I also feel it when I'm singing, on certain walks, or when I take photos. Concerts can put me there too. Not all, but some. I especially miss the nineties concerts and the mosh pits...those were the epitome of the feral feel that I adore. And still other days, I can reach that place just by dreaming or becoming lost in my imagination.

Ah, the wild. Yes. Ever since I was a little girl, I've longed for that freedom. I still do. There's a part of me that feels a little different than many around me. Maybe that's my creative nature or free spirit, I'm not sure. Or maybe we all long for it; some of us just express it more than others. That may be the truth. I'm not sure.

I suppose I spend many days wishing I were a tree or a hawk. To me, things make more sense in that realm.

When I look at my list, and I remember all of these moments, and I ask myself which one strikes me as the one that stands out, it's this:  I was driving cross country with a friend, and we happened upon a Native American gathering in the Nevada desert, and all night long, we danced around the fire. It was magnificent. I was right in the moment, and I wasn't worried about a goddamn thing. Later, we froze our asses off when the temperature dropped, ha, and we had to use our body heat to stay warm and so, we hugged each other. We weren't partners. We did it to survive, and it was innocent and unique. I'll never forget that evening. The vision of it fills my heart with warmth.

The wild is inside...but a desert fire helps. XO. And so does music, and the like. And so do leaders...other creative souls who pave the way there. Sometimes, we need someone to give us permission to play, to be free...until we can do it ourselves. When I get too serious, these leaders can point me back to the child inside that I love. 

After all, when someone is near, and he sparks me with passion, it is a reflection of my desires. And so, it unfolds. We can help each other, if we're aware. We can help each other with the spark. We can help each other return there, if need be.

I'm not sure what's next for me, but I intend to read a bunch, and I have a book of fiction started...so that's on my mind. :) I've been enjoying writing songs on piano and singing in churches, and I have a whole album written now. Pretty rad. It's funny. I just play to God, and I don't really think too much about having an audience. I wouldn't mind necessarily, but I'm just having fun creating.

Love to you,
C.A. MacConnell

P.S. FIVE published books by C.A. MacConnell on Amazon NOW

P.P.S. Need writing help?
 M.A. English/Creative Writing, Hollins UniversityOver 30 years of experience in all genresYou name it; I can do it. PHOTOS: custom, signed prints. Or prints on metal or canvas, ready to hang. Email:  right here. 

AUTHOR PAGE

7/01/2025

Wes' Museum

 


Good afternoon. Not sure why I picked this photo today...probably because it makes me chuckle. It reminds me of something that'd be in the background of a Wes Anderson film -- hence, the title. Sort of like a secret, hidden joke that's not hidden at all, which is why it's so funny. Anyway, I'm weird.

Hope you're doing well! Thank you to all those who are supporting my new book, RECOVER WILDLY:  DAILY SPIRITUAL ESSAYS FOR SURVIVORS. Do you have your copy yet? XO.

All five of my books are spectacular; the first four are fiction, and the fifth is nonfiction. You can find them all on my author page. Every single one is fast-paced and gripping. Let's get to number ONE! We've been awfully close.

I wrote the suckers. Now, all I need is you! <3 I've been spending some time with the woolly mammoths (well, where they used to roam anyhow, ha) and reading a ton of books, mostly Richard Bach and Melody Beattie, that kind of thing. I'll switch it up here soon. I'm in the mood for some Steinbeck. Perhaps some young adult too. And some Wally Lamb. I dig pretty much everything. I like crime as well, but my favorite is Chester Himes, because he's way outside the box.

Harry, the black snake, is living in the attic I think, which is fine by me...b/c he's an elusive roomie. I'm actually not afraid, oddly. All I need is a shark in my bathtub, and I'll be set.

Hope you're having an awesome day. Love to you,
C.A. MacConnell

P.S. FIVE published books by C.A. MacConnell on Amazon NOW

P.P.S. Need writing help?
 M.A. English/Creative Writing, Hollins UniversityOver 30 years of experience in all genresYou name it; I can do it. PHOTOS: custom, signed prints. Or prints on metal or canvas, ready to hang. Email:  right here. 

AUTHOR PAGE