I was going about 40 mph.
I know because I looked for once.
The speed limit was 30.
I glanced up at the car in front of me -- a black, sporty Mazda that was as shiny as a spoon, if the spoon were black, and the Mazda Man had one of those yellow, CAUTION, signs suction-stuck to the back window that read this: "BABY ON BOARD." So, as one would, I kept my distance, obviously concerned about rear-ending that baby.
Well, we crept up to the next light, and as soon as that fucker changed to green, Mazda Man tore down the street like Evel Knievel, peeling out and all. He had to be going about 60 on the twisty-turny back road that it was, and I was shocked, because by then I was going 45, and it was a struggle for me to make the turns, and Mazda Man left me behind like I was some bad habit he had chucked for good.
Which brought me to these questions: Was the baby driving? Or was Mazda Man teaching his baby to drive like a madman? Did Mazda Man want his baby to become a cop? Or a criminal? Was the baby even in the car? If the baby wasn't in the car, why was the CAUTION sign still up there? I guess he wanted all of us to be careful and watch out for him, but he sure as hell wasn't watching out for anyone else.
Good luck drivers. Be safe. There are babies out there.
C.A. MacConnell
