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1/30/2021

Photo: Winter Walk.

 

Went to the movies last night. <3 I saw The Little Things, and I thought it was a fantastic work of art. I was engaged from start to finish. OK, except for the usual "sprint-to-piss" break. Anyway, the film was smart, tricky, chilling, deep, and I loved the way the characters were fleshed out so fully; little subplots really gave them dimension. Right on...thank you for sharing your art with me. I truly appreciated the subtleties in this film, for sure. Was refreshing to see some more folks at the movies, although I was so bummed they didn't have pretzels, and it felt like the management didn't have the heat on. I was bundled the whole time, gloves and all.

Today, man, I was going about 75 on the highway, when a red-tailed hawk swooped down right in front of my windshield. I gasped. He was so incredibly close, and it felt like the whole thing happened in slo-mo. Then, as I drove on, I thought, out of all the cars...he picked mine. I felt my heart fill up. Always nice to catch a glimpse of my higher power.

C.A. MacConnell

1/29/2021

The White Squirrel

Hey you, here's a fiction sample for you today. Now I'll spill out an author secret:  the form -- no paragraph indents and spacing instead -- is intentional...my hope is that the rhythm of it reads like a doctor's note or breaking news story. Hope you like it. Hope you're well and happy. Love you, C.A.

The White Squirrel

9:50a.m. Michael P. Mitchell was two-lane highway driving, listening to Elton John. He tapped his hand on the dash, his makeshift piano. Seeing a white flash in the road, he slammed on the brakes.

"Jesus!" Michael shouted. He took off his glasses, wiping them, but the pasty rodent was still there. He'd been stable. He took his medication. He followed directions. It was terrifying, both the thought of a mental relapse, and the sight of the red-eyed, white squirrel sitting in the middle of the road. It was still there. And so was the memory of the hospital. You are bi...polar. Echoing. Every second.

Other cars brake-slammed. All around, windows rolled down.

"You're psycho!” the SUV said to Michael.

Michael shrugged.

Then another car pulled up. And another, until there was an angry line.

“It's a rare one! Albino!” Michael yelled, pointing at the pale rodent.

"Shoot me now," the Honda said.

“Fuckin' go, weirdo!” the Chevy said.

“Tommy, fix your seatbelt!” the BMW said.

The squirrel, content in the middle of the highway, cleaned its paws.

Even with all of the screeching, no one got hurt.

When the squirrel looked up and scampered away, Michael swore he heard it chatter-laughing. He looked out the window, down the row of stopped cars. Then he saw her neck, her bed head. Her.

A grayish-black-beat-up-foreign-type was the machine that held her.

Michael adjusted his glasses. He tugged at his Goodwill pants, baggy around the edges. From his seat, Michael stretched his neck to study her tangled hair -- the black, knotty emotion, the intensity that leaked into her fair skin. Her skin had flaws -- a scar above her left eye, and one on the right side of her lip. Lines of love or rage. Or birthmarks. From a distance, barely visible, but present. So was this thought: You are bi...polar. The doctors always said it like that. Two separate words.

He’d seen her hair before -- she worked at Foot Locker, across from Watson's Mattresses, his mall store. Her mess made Michael relax; it didn't matter whether or not he took his meds or sold a Queen.

She was always late. She wore running pants that went swish, swish when she sprinted through the mall. But behind her uniform was the unpredictable hair. Any time of day, it looked like she'd rolled off of one of Michael's mattresses. That thought made Michael's pants feel tight.

She was late again.

So was he. 10:15 a.m. The cars slipped away. Deciding to change his route, he took the back roads. Suddenly, he didn’t want to miss anything, be it strange woman, animal, or twiggy cloud.

8:55pm. It wasn’t in his nature to be mysterious, but when he heard her swishing near his store, all that Michael could think was this: You come inside. I see you. Then he glanced around Watson's Mattresses to make sure the customers were gone. No one. Michael adjusted himself near his Goodwill zipper.

She didn't come in.



Next day, 12:32pm. Michael watched the demo video of a steamroller running over a Watson's mattress to test the springs when she appeared in front of him, smiling through her face scars.

“You have 3/4 mattresses?” she asked him, pulling back her unruly hair.

Michael noticed more scars. On her wrists. He covered his blush by saying, “It’s hot in here.”

“Yes,” she said. “I need a 3/4 mattress!”

“Nobody makes those anymore,” Michael said, smirking. “Try a Full.”

“No way,” she said, bouncing on the demo, which was cut in half, spilling insides.

Michael counted the stripes in her shirt. Twelve on front.

As fast as she came, she left.

Michael became a customer service genius. That day, he sold three Twins and three Kings.

9 p.m. He closed Watson's. It was safe; he traveled across the mall hall to Foot Locker.

She was arranging Pumas. "Hi," she said.

"You got any slipper socks? Michael asked.

She laughed. "No, try Converse."

"Need a ride?" he asked.

"Yeah, my car's broken," she said, grabbing her Foot Locker down coat.

Michael said, "We'll take the back roads."

Wide-eyed, she asked, "You saw it, didn't you...the white squirrel?"

Michael smiled. "Yes. Rare one."

10:50 p.m. At a stoplight, Michael kissed her wrist scars. He ran fingers through her hair, straightening it. All around Michael, cars honked.

"Light's green, freak!" the Cadillac said.

"Mister Crazy, step on it!" the mini van said.

"GO, you nut!" the Porsche said.

Michael rolled down the window and laugh-yelled, "Pass us!" Then he kissed her cheek and asked her her name. He tapped his hand on the dash. Cussing drivers were the music.

11:30 p.m. When they reached her apartment, Michael P. Mitchell discovered that Carly Ann Souza's roots were slightly white and crazy gorgeous.

-- C.A. MacConnell

1/28/2021

Photo: Skater, Devou Park

One of my favorite photos from a li'l while ago. Makes me think of the wild ride I had while writing THE HOUSE OF ANCHOR. That book is a jam-packed gem of murder, strange, dirty love, eccentric characters, and nineties life, no holding back. Check it out here.

Once you pick up the Anchor's pages, those people will never leave you, no lie. :)

C.A. MacConnell

1/27/2021

Market

Heya. How are you? I haven't posted new material in a while. After I finished Book Four, I was doing some reading and sending out samples from Book Four to agents and such, but this poem just came out of me today. Thought I would share. It's a deep little sucker. Hope you like it, C.A. MacConnell

Market

Most people fear the quiet
snakes, but oxygen returns

to those who wait. I hate
to tell you, but I am god,

and you are god, and this
is god, and so is the one

without legs. Little, dark
circles under my eyes. Last

night, I dreamed that you
had silver, sharp canines.

When we kissed, I tasted
metal. No matter, no mind.

Following, I was a parachute
on the drag strip. For years,

I took the bait. Sometimes,
my ring fingers freeze, stuck

closed from the trigger grip.
I am a single tremor, a locked

knuckle. I shake whether cold
or not, but movement tears apart

the numb. I see the market, yes,
but can I pay with food stamps.

All around, the millionaires
are fasting. Now, my blanket

is damp, and the bad eye
is peeled open. Yesterday,

people told me that my hair
was pretty. I stood like a rock.

C.A. MacConnell

 

1/20/2021

Photo.


Congratulations to President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris.
 
During these unprecedented times, I certainly admire your bravery. Today reminds me of this:  never give up.

C.A. MacConnell

1/06/2021

Photo, and a Note to You

 

Heya. Here's a photo for you. It's one of my favorites. Behind the scenes, I'm working on an essay. There's been so much going on in the world, it's hard to narrow it down! But I've got something kicking. 

Getting some feedback on Book Four, so that's exciting. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

Most of all, I hope you're well and happy. And thanks for visiting my site. Look for an essay soon. And stay tuned on the book! I'm so stoked.

Much love,

C.A. MacConnell