"The world is a mess!"
"The world is going just how I want it to be going!"
"Everything is going to crumble!"
"Everything is just as it should be!"
"I win."
"You win."
Meanwhile, at the grocery store, a man with one leg needs help getting into the automatic cart so he can buy food for his kids. On the sidewalk, a woman stands, holding her last dollar, and it may appear that she's just taking a walk, but she is so stressed that she is considering suicide. An elderly fellow needs assistance reaching the last frozen Salisbury steak meal. On the side of the road, two young men are stuck, and their car is on fire. Natural disasters, illness, family trauma, and on and on, ad infinitum. All around us, moment to moment, people are experiencing important, individual setbacks and trials, sometimes devastating.
Last week, when I was working, two twelve-year-old boys were running around the store, causing trouble. They told me about how they'd already been dealing with the law some, even at that young age. And even that day, they were about to get kicked out of the store, but I stopped and listened to them. And then I asked them to help me knock out a grocery order. Suddenly, their whole countenance changed, and they were so ecstatic about the opportunity. I sent them running around the store, searching for items, and as we did it together, their eyes began to shine. At the end of the order, I gave them each a high five, and I could see how happy they were after receiving momentary adult guidance and attention. Because before they met me, maybe they wanted to cause trouble, but in reality, they were simply lost, alone, and afraid. All they were looking for was some direction and love. And then I realized that I was too. Before I met them, I was also feeling lost, alone, and afraid. But when they appeared in my day, my workday turned into something joyful and unique. We loved each other. We helped each other. We were in it together.
And you know what? The next day, they came back.
We're all lost, alone and afraid, looking for direction.
We're all like those two twelve-year-old boys.
We all need help, guidance, attention, and love.
If I take away the finger-pointing and external focus, I realize that in the end, the only way I can truly change the world is to see the role that I'm playing, to notice my part, and to focus on how I can help others, because life can be damn hard. And so, when it comes to who's right or who's wrong, I say, fuck the "sides."
I point the finger at myself.
Look inward. The change radiates outward.
Look inward.
Love to you,
C.A. MacConnell
