Good afternoon. Love to you. Time to write!
Well! I've had repeated lessons in this: pray, take action, wait, pray. Pray, take action, wait, pray. Pray, take action, wait, pray. Wait, wait some more. Now, I'm better at the "doing" than I am at the "waiting," I admit.
Recently, these series of circumstances or "battles," if you will, have happened to me regarding several big events in my life that have heavily pressed on my "fear buttons."
Certainly, with the first challenge, it rolled out haphazardly and proved to be incredibly messy, although I got through it, and it made me recognize the power of my fear...and how it can really destroy me if I allow it to take a hold. And it made me recognize my need to reach out for help and have faith in my higher power, to really trust. Trust. Aye, lessons in trust. For me, that means reaching out to friends, family, professionals, and listening for the answers on how to take the next step.
Humbling, indeed.
Now, I am in the middle of another similar situation. Pray, take action, wait, pray, take action, wait, pray. Here I am again. And again, it is challenging, but I am not allowing it to have the same amount of power. I'm proud of myself for this. Taking each step as it comes, I'm trusting and letting it unfold.
I can't say I'm happy about the slow nature of how it's unfolding, no. The waiting is hard for me, for sure. But it creates a certain amount of integrity as well.
Life is challenging for everyone, I know. Events come at us from many different directions and sometimes, I honestly feel like I have no idea what I'm doing. And other times, I'll wonder how the hell something will work out. I suppose I'm thinking that thought right now. How the hell is this going to work out? Damn.
Not sure, to tell you the truth. I have no idea. I know what I desire but at this point, I have no control over whether or not that will happen. And perhaps, what I desire is not the best outcome. I don't know. More will be revealed.
Maybe you are facing something similar. People around you are doing awful things, or events are unfolding in a jolting manner. Maybe the process to get through it is as slow as all hell, frustrating and demanding. That's what's happening to me. This morning, I took some action and now, I'm waiting, trying to take care of myself the best I can, trying to make wise decisions.
And of course, talking to God all along the way.
It is uncomfortable. It is real. It is character-building. It is a chance to practice making repeated decisions to react to life's events in a new way. It is a chance to change the outcome that may have happened in the past. And that is why it is so difficult.
It is hard to look inward. It is hard to grow. It feels strange, unfamiliar, and shall I say, inherently sketchy. I find myself thinking things like this: whoa, that move was risky. But was it risky? Or simply, new...and that feels like a leap in my mind.
I will write again when I get through this one. I'm sure I'll have another perspective. When faced with something jarring, I'm learning to pause and give the emotions time to settle, then persevere.
Tough stuff.
I hope that this day turns out peaceful for you. This morning, I made a decision to not allow others' actions to have power over my day, and I am sticking to that decision. After all, all we have is this moment. And I deserve peace. And so do you.
Perhaps I have helped you with my transparency. Remember to be gentle with yourself when you're learning new things. And I will do the same.
Pray, take action, wait, trust.
Wish me luck.
Sending love and light to you,
C.A. MacConnell
P.S. FIVE published books by C.A. MacConnell on Amazon NOW!
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