Photos: Dark Horse, Part Two

I call him Sam. I believe he is a Friesian crossed w/ another type of draft horse. His eyes are a lovely amber color. He looks to be an older fellow, perhaps about 17 would be my guess. I'd like to meet the owner to see if I'm correct. While I was there, a man in a wheel chair came up to see Sam as well. Seems that the man visits him often, because Sam recognized him. Sam has a lot of visitors, but we're his favorites, ha. :)

-- C.A. MacConnell

B-man Nods, Sipping House

a prose poem

B-man Nods, Sipping House.

Go back to the nineties. It's easy to get stuck there. Meet B-man, a Hollywood, blue-eyed version of Jesus; he tells stories about virgin Alaskan land. He tells whoever. He tells just-so stories about all of the places he's seen, the open-wide places where heaven still slips the world some tongue. B says, I wonder if the forest would spring up and cover the skyscrapers...if all of us bitches left this city tonight. Together we wish for a concrete paradise, and it goes like this: let the laughing ocean roll in on parking lot beaches. Let the misfits and junkies and drunks and sick, gutter punks have reserved, sandy, or green spaces to screw and shoot and fly and booze and smoke up and come down. Let us recover by tree shade and sun. I tell him that I just came back from Seattle, where I half-slept half-naked in bad beds, shaking though the short days, sweating through the long nights, making prints in the wet grass, leaving behind a crime scene body outline, one that spelled out the shape of She was here. For now, we are clean. Sitting on stacks of dog-eared books, rolling Drums, there is no filter; we love underage freaks, open mics, and Goodwill. Some singer girl becomes Billie Holiday. Some poet sways his seventies head, braid shells knocking together, doorway gypsy beads hanging there, and as they kill the sign-up list, B looks out the window, and I follow his baby-wide gaze, finally seeing and believing that the indoor plants may begin to grow up, turning to vines, reaching out to creep across the window glass, surrounding the room, replacing the walls with a breathing rain forest -- jade or mint, any shade -- giving back new life, as if something or someone, somewhere outside of this room, suddenly hears us.

C.A. MacConnell


Photo: Great Love Comes

Great Love Comes

C.A. MacConnell

Photo: Wait 'Til You See

Wait 'Til You See

C.A. MacConnell

Photo: Courage, Reward

You Will Be Rewarded for Your Courage

C.A. MacConnell

The Perfect Round

As a preteen, one day, I was at the Kentucky Horse Park, and I was nervous because it was my first big show with my horse Rojo (Southern Accent). He was an experienced, 15'3 chestnut gelding, and Rojo was quite a "packer," as we called them, meaning, he knew his job, and he always seemed content with his mission, whether at home or at the shows. Ro was kind, loving, upbeat, dependable, and always positive; he never held a grudge.

When we went in the ring that day, we had an absolutely flawless, perfect jumping round. Unfortunately, Ro was ultra-excited about the perfect round as well, so much so that right after the last jump, nearly mid-air, he let out an enormous, rodeo-worthy buck. Of course, this put me out of the ribbons completely. Now, Ro was a registered quarter horse, and his hind end was extremely strong. He didn't act up much (hardly at all), but the rare times he did buck -- boom -- the rider, any rider, was toast. (A few years before, I watched him do it to his former owner on a trail ride. One buck, and she was gone). Usually, bucks wouldn't throw me, but this buck was massive; it definitely caught me off guard. So I went flying over his head, and I landed in the soft ring sand. Ro was still so jazzed up that he went tearing around the horse park. All around, people yelled, "Loose horse! Loose horse!" like they did, while eating a sandwich or teaching a kid or walking a dog.

I remember feeling the sand in my pants, and I remember the long, horrific walk out of the ring and back to the barn. Head down, tears, the works. The epitome of horse show humiliation. At the time, it seemed like the end of the world, similar to the day when I had a piano recital, and my second page of notes was blocked by a piece of paper, and I couldn't see what was next, so I just banged my hands on the keys, made some terrifying sound, and left. And it was all recorded -- this monstrosity of sound. (My last piano recital ever)

Show horses were hilarious when they got loose. Usually they took a quick trip around, a victory lap or two, and then they went back to the barn, or the ring, or right into their stalls. Many times, they ran around crazed, heads held high, and then they'd end up chilling somewhere, quietly grazing, as if to say, Well, that was fun. Now I want my dinner. Usually it was quite anti-climactic.

So it didn't take long for Rojo to end up right back where we were stabled. When I saw him, he was chilling in his stall, eating hay. He didn't feel bad about it. I think he thought he did the right thing -- helped his girl have a perfect round, and then let the whole horse park know how awesome he was. Seemed to make sense to him, to celebrate his victory. And yes, the pro show horses knew when the round was good or bad, for sure. But he did know that I was mad at him, and he knew he was in trouble for some reason, but I think he was confused as to why.

When my trainer found me, he smirked a little, patted me on the back, and said, "Man that was the best round ever! If you just would've hung on, you would've won the class!" Then he chuckled. He was trying to get me to lighten up, but it didn't work. Getting bucked off was one thing, but getting bucked off after a perfect round really hammered home the embarrassment and such. In our makeshift show tack room, my trainer's brother tried to comfort me through a few jokes and a hand on my shoulder. I remember looking at him, nodding, and listening intently, hiding in the shade of the red and black curtains. Teary, I smiled at him a little.

To this day, when I bring up this show to my Dad, his entire face sinks, and he says, "Oh, God, I remember that day," and he says it in this deep, drawn-out, dreadful tone, as if we're talking about a world catastrophe. Like the piano recital, ha.

As kids, I suppose these things are catastrophes. And then we learn to ride on. And the people around us give us the strength to do so. And we get ready for the next show. Time for a comeback.

Me years later, as a Prof. Trainer
C.A. MacConnell

P.S. A day later at the show with Rojo, I signed up for an equitation jumping class in the big ring, and the jumps were bigger than I'd done with him, and we rocked it. And we ended up getting ribbons in the small ring as well. It ended up sweet.


Photos: Farm

Today, I visited the farm where I used to work as a Professional Trainer for a while. I haven't visited this particular farm in 10 years. So much has changed with the barns, the people, and the horses and ponies, but the land and the rings remain the same. The horses were so happy, so peaceful, so calm. It was wonderful to see a place with good care. It was a perfect day for a visit, but I must say, it was an emotional one. I'd like to work there again or perhaps have a horse there again someday. It'd be very healing for me. And fun! Here are some shots. :) Love, C.A.


 Tack Room

 Keeping Watch


Hey Girl

C.A. MacConnell

Photo: Kylin Morning

Kylin Morning

Love you too,
C.A. MacConnell

F'n Rad Barista, Part Six

Customer:  I'd like a smoothie.
Barista:  Man, seriously?
Customer:  What?
Barista:  Oh, nothing, it's just that I just cleaned the blender. You know, disinfected it and everything. Well, kind of. I rinsed it out.
Customer:  Won't you have to use it again? It's only ten in the morning.
Barista:  Yeah, well, I usually start closing around 10 a.m.
Customer:  Closing?
Barista:  Yeah, we close at 6, but I like to be prepared. I'm a real go-getter.
Customer:  Oh I see, well, can I get that smoothie anyway?
Barista:  Hm, lets see, sure, but if you want whipped cream, I'm sorry.
Customer:  But doesn't that come with it?
Barista:  Yeah, normally, but I already cleaned the whipped cream nozzle, and I don't want to get it dirty again. I'm nervous that I won't get everything done before 6.
Customer (rolling eyes):  All right, well, I'd like Strawberry.
Barista:  Hm, I already put the Strawberry mix away in the fridge, and it's buried behind all the iced teas...hard to get all that stuff jammed in there for closing, but right now it's all packed in there perfectly. You should see it. Really, it's amazing I fit it all. So would you mind banana? I think I can get to that.
Customer:  Really, I want Strawberry.
Barista:  Hows about Four Berry, and we'll call it a day.
Customer:  I guess that'll work. How is it that you still work here?
Barista (starting the blender and shouting):  Oh, I don't work here anymore. I just keep coming in because I don't have anything else to do. Hey, you want a Diet Coke with this? I'm trying to get rid of those to fit the selzer in the fridge for closing.
Customer: It's TEN A.M.!
Barista:  No doubt, but it'll get wild in here later, and I have to be ready for closing. Here's your Four Berry! Enjoy!
Customer (taking smoothie):  Um, yeah, thanks.
Barista:  Hope you come back, hope to see you soon, have a nice day, but lady, next time, just a suggestion, but can you come a little earlier, so I am not in the middle of closing?

C.A. MacConnell

F'n Rad Barista, Part Five

Customer:  Hi! I've never been here before.
Barista (with a straight face):  Cool.
Customer (grinning wildly):  Well, I was just wondering what you would recommend?
Barista (rolling eyes):  I dunno, I had a PB&J the other day that was pretty good. I mean, I made it myself with the leftover butt end of the bread when the cooks weren't looking.
Customer:  Isn't that on the kids menu?
Barista:  We don't have a kids menu, but if we did, it sure would be, yes. Man, I hate kids.
Customer (smiling nervously):  Actually, looking at you, it's hard to tell if you're a kid or a woman.
Barista:  Well, I know, I get that all the time since I'm small. Thanks a lot for treating me like I should be holding a Care Bear and blankie. So, glad you're here, the veggie burger is pretty good.
Customer (raising eyebrows):  Well, okay, I'll try it I guess. What kind of bread is it on?
Barista:  Buns. Big round buns. Best buns in the city. I love buns.
Customer:  Uh, sounds good. I'll have it.
Barista:  The burger or my buns?
Customer:  Uh, the burger, with the bun.
Barista:  Oh, man, I'm sorry, I'm not that kind of girl. My whore days are over. But that one over there is a real slut (pointing at a server).
Customer:  Just give me the burger.
Barista:  You mean plain? That's silly. It's not as good without the bun.
Customer (hands on hips):  Well, I wanted the bun, but...
Barista:  Settle down lady! I don't want to have to get Vice in here for sexual harassment.
Customer:  This is ridiculous! Just give me a PB&J.
Barista:  Oh, okay, back to that. Hm, let me just make sure we have some jam left. I dropped a teacup in the jar earlier and it smashed all over the place. I think I got all the glass out of it though.
Customer (sighing):  I'm so hungry, just give me something. You have honey? I could have PB& honey?
Barista:  Lady, I'll get you your sandwich, but I'm not your 'honey'. I mean, I think Shakira and Mary Stuart Masterson are hot, but it about ends there. Also, there's a girl upstairs that's smokin', but I think she's engaged.
Customer:  Forget it, I'll just take one of these cutout cookies. I'm in a hurry.
Barista:  I see you chose the Mardi Gras themed mask cookie. Interesting. Tells a lot.
Customer:  Like what?
Barista:  Well, some people like to wear masks. You know, to hide their true selves.
Customer:  Listen, my sugar is low, and I'm shaking and would you just ring me up for the damn cookie?
Barista:  Like I said, some people are really hiding some childhood fury. Not saying you, just saying some people.
Customer:  Jesus, well, if you were going to pick a cookie, what would you pick?
Barista:  The hot dog one for sure.
Customer:  Why is that?
Barista:  Isn't it obvious?
Customer:  Oh.
Barista:  Anyway, so you want the PB&J or the mask cookie? Are you immature or a liar?
Customer: What the hell!? I really wanted the veggie burger, but I think I'll just take this granola bar.
Barista:  You sure? They might be kind of old.
Customer: Yes!!!! Would you just ring me up?
Barista:  You just don't seem like the granola bar type of lady.
Customer:  Why is that?
Barista:  I dunno, your skin's kind of oily, so I thought you might like something greasier.
Customer:  The nerve! How is it that you still work here?
Barista: Man, I hate kids.


F'n Rad Barista, Part Four.

Customer (gazing around):  Wow this place is lovely, so eclectic.
Barista (sniffling, lip trembling):  Wow, I'm so sorry you're epileptic. That must be so hard. Do you think you'll have a seizure here?
Customer:  No, I said, eclectic.
Barista:  You sure you're not feeling sick? Maybe a little panicky? Dizzy? Nauseous? Small lurking pains?
Customer:  No! Can I just order?
Barista (reaching across the counter):  Come closer. Let me feel your forehead. You look a little pale.
Customer (backing away):  What is wrong with you?
Barista:  No, the real question is, what is wrong with YOU? I'm telling you, you look flushed.
Customer:  I am not sick!
Barista:  Yes, yes, denial is the first stage. Then the seizure comes. And then the best part comes -- the paramedics show up for you, and I get to close early.

Customer:  It's about to storm out there.
Barista:  Really?  I should bring the tables in from outside. Or would you like to? You look like the kind of woman who could use a workout.
Customer:  Funny.
Barista:  No, I'm serious. Your arms are flabby as hell.

Customer:  Can I have change for a dollar?
Barista:  Sure, just using me for change, eh?
Customer:  Um, I ate here.
Barista:  Yeah, that's what they all say...
Customer:  No really, I just had lunch.
Barista:  Ha! You're really good.
Customer:  I'm serious! Can I have some change?
Barista:  Not sure...now I feel kind of used, and I'm really not that kind of person anymore.
Customer:  I spent money here! I just got done with lunch!
Barista:  Let me go take my smoke break back out by the dumpster and think about this issue we're having, and we can talk it out in an hour or so, when we've had time to think it over and decide on a better course for our relationship.

Customer:  Can I have some water?
Barista:  Sure, today it's free.
Customer:  Isn't it always free?
Barista:  For you, yes, because you are one hot damn hippie.

Customer:  I'll have the usual.
Barista:  I'm sorry, was that the latte, or the Italian soda?
Customer:  It's the blueberry tea.
Barista:  Oh, that's right, I had you confused with another midget.

Customer (walking up to the register on a walker):  Hello young lady. I'll have a coffee for here.
Barista:  On the house. I'm so sorry you're a cripple.

Customer:  You know, you really shouldn't chew gum while you're working. It's rude.
Barista:  I know, so sorry. Here, (taking the gum out of her mouth and sticking it on the counter) will you hold on to this for me for later?

Customer:  Can I have some change for the meter?
Barista:  Oh, sure. (opening the register) No, sorry, I don't have any change.
Customer:  What? No change at all?
Barista:  Nope, none.
Customer:  You're lying.
Barista:  Actually, I have no money at all in here.
Customer:  That's impossible.
Barista:  No, it's possible. See, I gave it all away.
Customer:  Huh?
Barista:  Yeah, there was this lady in here earlier, and I felt sorry for her, so I gave her all the money to pay for her health care. She was epileptic.

--C.A. MacConnell

Photos: Career Goals

Career Goals

I want to be an actor.
C.A. MacConnell

F'n Rad Barista, Part Three.

Customer:  Hi, how are you? I'd like a large nonfat iced white chocolate raspberry latte.
Barista:  Comin right up...and thanks for asking how I am. Earlier sucked, but I think it's all working out, so I'm ready to roll. Man, I had the worst diarrhea. So bad, it got on my undies and everything. It was my favorite pair too -- the blue striped ones with the peace sign. Anyway, what was that drink you wanted?

Customer:  Hi, I'd like a coffee.
Barista:  What size?
Customer:  What size do you have?
Barista:  Small, medium, large
Customer:  I'd like a small.
Barista:  Light or dark roast?
Customer:  Light.
Barista:  Hot or luke warm?
Customer:  Um, hot.
Barista:  With grounds in it or no grounds?
Customer (hands on hips):  no grounds...
Barista:  For here or to go?
Customer:  To go.
Barista:  Would you like it double-cupped?
Customer:  Just give me my coffee?!
Barista:  Would you like a sleeve? Some people don't want to waste the paper.
Customer:  Yes, a sleeve! I'm in a hurry!
Barista:  Sorry, did you say small?
Customer:  Yes, small!
Barista:  Okay, so small, light roast, hot, no grounds, to go, with a sleeve, you're in a hurry, small for sure?
Customer:  How long have you worked here?
Barista:  Okay, so small, light roast, hot, no grounds, to go, with a sleeve, you're in a hurry, small for sure, and you are very nosy?
Customer (turning to leave):  I'll just go down the street, never mind.
Barista:  Wait, so that was small coffee, light roast, hot, no grounds, to go, with a sleeve, you're in a hurry, small for sure, you are very nosy, and you are leaving?
Customer (turning back around):  I have never had such poor service. How is it that you still work here?
Barista (writing on the cup):  Let me just check again with you...small coffee, light roast, hot, no grounds, to go with a sleeve, you're in a hurry, small for sure, you are very nosy, and you aren't leaving yet because you're taking out your childhood angst on me?
Customer (walks out):  I'm calling the manager.
Barista:  Wait! Here's your coffee! If you'd like to tip me, I brought the jar with me too.

Customer:  Good afternoon.
Barista (wiping her nose):  Hello there. How can I help you?
Customer:  You know, you really shouldn't wipe your nose when you're greeting a customer. Very rude.
Barista:  Oh, sorry, I just have this massive booger in there, just trying to dig it out. Hang on, let me see if I can get it and show you. Then you'll understand.

Customer:  Whoa, it's like a sauna outside.
Barista:  Want a hot chocolate?
Customer:  Funny, I was thinking something refreshing, like an iced tea.
Barista:  Hows about a scalding Americano?
Customer:  Maybe I'll just have a bottle of water. Do you have that?
Barista:  There's a special on extra hot lattes.
Customer:  Do you really work here?
Barista:  Couple months.
Customer:  Seems like I've seen you longer.
Barista:  Oh, I used to work at Dragon Ballz car wash...might've seen me there.
Customer:  Never heard of that. I'd like an iced tea.
Barista:  What kind? We have 50 different kinds.
Customer:  Really, what are they?
Barista:  How about a milk steamer?
Customer:  No, I want an iced tea.
Barista:  Hm, you want ice in it?
Customer:  Yes!
Barista:  The ice is all stuck together. I'll have to go get my chisel and hammer it apart. How about a nice hot mocha while you're waiting?

Customer:  It's raining cats and dogs out there.
Barista:  I thought I saw lightning.
Customer:  Hm, I haven't seen lightning.
Barista:  Oh, that must've just been when I slammed the electrical cord in the fridge again, no worries.

Customer:  Do you have table service?
Barista:  It just ended.
Customer:  Do I order here?
Barista:  Oh, yeah, I guess. I'm about to go on my smoke break out back by the dumpster.
Customer:  What would you recommend?
Barista:  I dunno, I don't eat any of this food.
Customer:  Um, okay. I'll have the tuna sandwich.
Barista:  Nasty.
Customer:  I'm sorry, are you picking your nose?
Barista:  Yeah, sorry, I just have this massive booger up there. I've been trying to dig it out all day. So you want the tuna? I'll whip it right up.

Customer:  Is that the health department here?
Barista:  Probably.
Customer (shrugs):  Oh, well, I'll have the soup.
Barista:  You sure? Not sure what's in it. You ever seen Fried Green Tomatoes?

-- C.A. MacConnell


Photo: FBF, Dora

Me + Dora the Explorer
2011 or so

C.A. MacConnell

F'n Rad Barista, Part Two.

Customer (making an "O" with her mouth):  Ohhhhh, are those beautiful teapots for sale?
Barista (making an "O" with her mouth):  Ohhhhh, NO.

Customer:  Do you have some cream?
Barista:  Yes.
Customer:  Well can I have some?
Barista (smiling):  Sure, but it's a little thick. You might need a spoon.
Customer:  What do you mean?
Barista (whispering):  Oh, you know, curdled.

Barista:  Hi there! Can I take those plates? Or are you still working on that cake?
Customer:  Still working on it.
Barista (grabbing across the table):  How about your fork?
Customer:  Still using it!
Barista (grabbing across the table):  Your spoon? Doesn't look like you're using that.
Customer:  I'm still eating!
Barista (taking the plate):  Are you sure you should keep eating? Just trying to be helpful.

Customer (looking rained on):  Wow, it's really raining out there!
Barista:  Thank god, I love the rain.
Customer:  Oh, that's nice, you do?
Barista:  (smiling wide) Yeah, drives most people away from here.

Customer:  I would like a raspberry smoothie.
Barista:  We don't have raspberry.
Customer:  What do you have?
Barista:  Banana, Strawberry, and Mango. Wait, we're out of mango.
Customer:  Can I have Blackberry?
Barista:  Sure, as soon as I go down to the farmer's market and gather some blackberries for you, and then I have to stop behind our dumpster and have my smoke break. Right after that, it'll be right up.

Customer:  I'd like a frappucino.
Barista:  We are not Starbucks. We don't have frappucinos.
Customer:  Oh, bummer. Can I have one of those chocolate cupcakes you had yesterday?
Barista:  We had those yesterday, not today. What we have is out on display.
Customer:  Oh, bummer.
Barista:  Yeah, sorry.
Customer:  What about those peanut butter cups?
Barista:  Negative. What we have is on display.
Customer:  Where's the display?
Barista:  Oh fuck, I knew I forgot something this morning.

Customer:  Do you have anything fat-free, or do you have the calories listed somewhere?
Barista:  We have pastries. They are very, very fattening.
Customer:  Oh, well, I'm just trying to watch my calorie intake.
Barista:  I've got a Powerbar in my purse in my locker if you want it.
Customer:  That's okay, I'm allergic to eggs and wheat. What would you suggest?
Barista:  I've got an old stick of gum in my pocket. Sugar-free.

Customer:  Wow, it sure is muggy.
Barista:  Yep, the windows are all steamy.
Customer:  Is your A.C. broken?
Barista:  No, we're preparing the room for later when we turn this into a hot yoga studio.

Customer (grinning, relaxed):  Feels nice in here.
Barista:  How so?
Customer:  Compared to outside.
Barista:  Like how would you compare it? Would you say the temperature is mild with a slight breeze, or would you say that it's warm with a touch of sprinkles (shooting seltzer water at her).
Customer (wiping her face):  Oh, the horror! I will never come back here.
Barista:  I guess the precipitation was too much for you. It happens.

C.A. MacConnell


Photo: Fierce Sky

Fierce Sky

<3 XX
C.A. MacConnell

F'n Rad Barista, Part One

Man, this would be a great character for SNL, just sayin. Love, C.A.

Customer:  Hm, what's in the white chocolate?
Barista:  Hm, mainly white chocolate.

Customer:  Can we sit anywhere?
Barista:  Ah, yes, only where there aren't people sitting. Or if you're not too fat, lap sitting is cool.

Customer:  How much are these cookies?
Barista:  $1.95 like the very large sign says.

Customer:  What kind of tea do you have?
Barista:  It's listed on that tea list I just handed you.

Customer:  Can I have a spoon?
Barista:  Hang on, I think I found one. Just let me spit on it to get this jelly off it.

Customer:  What's that Apple Cinnamon drink on the board?
Barista:  I have no idea. Good question. What the hell is that?

Customer:  Can I have some ice water with ice?
Barista:  Sure, let me check and see if that's still in stock.

Customer: Would you choose the black bean burger or the artichoke burger?
Barista:  Black bean.
Customer:  I'll have the artichoke.
Barista:  Seriously, that one's really bad.
Customer:  Why is it on the menu then?
Barista:  To sell the black bean, you know, diversion tactics.

Customer:  What kind of tea do you have?
Barista:  Off the top of my head, lots, according to that tea list I just handed you.

Customer:  What kind of drink would you suggest?
Barista:  Black. Drip. Coffee.

Customer:  What's your favorite sweet thing here?
Barista:  I love caramel, so whatever's caramel, but you look more like a chocolate type.
Customer:  I'll have a piece of that carrot cake.
Barista:  I said, you're the chocolate type.

Customer:  I parked at the meter and didn't pay. You think I'll be okay?
Barista: No.
Customer:  Can I have some change?
Barista:  Sorry, I'm not allowed to open the register.

Customer:  Are you open?
Barista:  We close in five minutes.
Customer:  Great, can I have 3 smoothies, 3 pieces of cake, 5 lattes, and three ounces of bulk tea?
Barista:  For here or to go?
Customer:  For here, I love the atmosphere.
Barista:  Sure, I'm heading out, so come on back here behind the counter, and you can whip it right up.

Customer:  I think you gave me the mild coffee instead of the dark roast!
Barista:  Really? You like it?
Customer:  I wanted the dark.
Barista:  Sorry, just dumped the dark.
Customer:  I'll wait.
Barista:  It'll be a few minutes, because I have to go on my smoke break back out by the dumpster.

Customer:  What's in the hot chocolate?
Barista:  Chocolate and milk.
Customer:  Is it gluten free?
Barista:  Not sure, there may be a graham cracker crust stuck to the bottom of the mug. Better get the coffee just to be safe.
Customer:  Thank you!

--C.A. MacConnell


Photo: Red Fox Stables

Dear fan:  When you mix blue moo cookie dough + cookies and cream + sprinkle waffle cone + Busken Halloween face cookies = awesome sauce. Today, I got tattooed. I <3 Tommy and Nate. I tried not to be a pussy. I told them how I am the world's most F'n Rad Painter.

Once, Red Fox Stables

C.A. MacConnell

Top Ten Life Happenings

HI! Anybody ever check out my article I wrote for Chronicle of the Horse? Just thought of it...I like that one. Maybe I'll do a follow-up piece, who knows. Now, for the important news...

Top Ten Life Happenings
1. Not a good idea to put tennis shoes in the dishwasher.
2. The dishwasher is for shoes with less self-respect.
3. My imaginary a-little-over-a-year-long relationship lasted longer than any of my real ones, and I consider that a success, and it's still going strong!
4. New Vans on the way, yes!
5. Hm.
6. Not much else.
7. Might see a movie.
8. Snyder's popcorn is yummy.
9. Anybody wanna coffee?
10. Anybody got a plane or a Uhaul?

-- C.A. MacConnell


Limousine Girl

Sweat-drenched, once again,
her body became
the rain to the bed,
her sudden nightly windshield.
Engine starting,
she stretched to rise,
holding her racing head,
shifting into
her fake-tan,
fake-face role
with vehicles, run sheets, and chauffeurs,
and she was never anything more
than a stuck car door,
and she was never anything more
than a stay-at-home groupie.
Fifteen, going on twenty-seven,
she arranged rides
for businessmen and stars,
making sure the drivers
remembered the ice,
watching her pager
vibrate and flash,
later collecting backstage cash,
shaking hands with managers,
when they had no idea
that Mom was her ride that day,
when she nodded, frowned,
and made a note of it
when the man in shades,
the big-toothed contact,
mentioned that one car
didn't have the right juice.

C.A. MacConnell